The New M.E. Generation

A few days later I get an email from the ‘out there’ guy asking me to be his friend. I didn’t click the ‘yes’ button right away, and instead called my friend to get his opinion on this matter.

“I’ve known that guy for years,” said he. “He is best friend with my ex roommate and I met him when he came to visit our apartment one time, and eventually we became friends as well.”

“Should I friend him? I mean, I’m looking at his picture and I’m not having any emotional reaction towards him. I’m not sure about this. Is there anything I need to know?”

“Well…,”said he (translation: it is not good), “he’s never been married or in a serious relationship that I know of, and has no kids. What he enjoys is being with women and that’s it.”

“I don’t understand; can you be more clear?”

“For example, when my ex-roommate was getting married in the Caribbean, a party was held the day before we departed. At that party he met this chick and they hooked up immediately.

This guy invited her to go to the wedding with him, she accepted, managed to put her on the plane and off they went. Needless to say, he partied more with this girl in his room than at the actual event.”

I had no idea as to how to react to what I was hearing. I’ve had my own share of adventures with many guys these past few years. But this whole story was making me uncomfortable.

I don’t know if it was the guy, the chick, or maybe the question of if I would ever do something like that. Would I get on a plane with a guy I just met and ‘bring down the house’ every way possible?

“Listen, Emma, he’s just someone that has a totally different mind frame from yours. He’s harmless, really. It doesn’t hurt to friend him.

I know he’s not the type for you right now, but take his as someone good to know.”

‘Someone good to know?’ Is that possible? Not with this one. And after what I just heard, I think I know enough.

Here’s what happened. What I meant by ‘hooking up’ is that I let Ricky into my life right from the start. Meaning he started hanging out in my apartment all the time because I allowed that to happen.

Don’t get me wrong. It was great, at the beginning, when everything feels good, before you start discovering the things that make you different from the other person. Or putted in better words, before the things that irritate you start coming out.

On top of that, I made the biggest mistake of them all: I developed feelings for him before I got to know him as a person, to at least figure out if it was worth keeping him as a friend, or figure out if he was good enough material to possibly go beyond that.

In other words, I should have not gotten emotionally involved with Ricky in any way.

I spent so much time with him that I even helped him move out into a new place and offered to ‘take care’ of an artwork he was going to put away temporarily. (Between you and me, I think it looks better in my place.)

But although Ricky and I were ‘together’ he didn’t see it that we were actually ‘together.’ How so? Not even once did he invite me to meet his family or visit his home. He referred me to his mom as just ‘a friend.’

Sounds confusing? It was, sort of. But that’s what happens when your emotions take over your head and don’t allow you to see clearly.

And the reality was right there, loud and clear, which was that it was over before it even started, if that.

et cetera