The New M.E. Generation











I waited 2 days to try to chat with him again. I first checked his profile again and wasn’t really impressed by what I read.

It’s not that he didn’t have any merits worth appreciating as a person. But his information wasn’t anything that was striking a cord with me. He could well be a good candidate for someone else. But I simply wasn’t feeling anything.

As much as I try to approach this with an open mind, I guess I’ve reached a point where I just know when there’s possibility or not pretty early on. I may take a humorous approach, but I’m not investing too much time around. Why would I when there’s not even a spark felt?

The guy had emailed the day before and was online when I read his message, so I initiated the chat.

‘Hello, working I suppose?’

‘Yes, on duty again, and sitting on the computer. FYI, if I suddenly disappear is because I have to leave quickly, not because I don’t want to talk to you.’

‘So how many other girls have you contacted via the site?’

‘A few, but it’s hard to meet them with my schedule.’

‘You should make the effort. You shouldn’t wait for life to pass you by and then wonder what happened with it.’

‘What about you?’

‘Also trying, but have a similar situation like yours. Long hours at work and sometimes when I get home I’m super tired. Doesn’t make you want to do much except rest.’

‘If I was there, I would give you a massage.’

All right, that’s it with this one. It’s obvious that he just wants one thing from me and he’s not getting it. This time, a guy’s behavior is not upsetting me.

After all, I wasn’t feeling it, and I knew beforehand it wasn’t going anywhere. So I guess I just let the situation ran its course until it ended, but never thought this fast.

I quickly exited the site and didn’t think about it the rest of the night.

A couple of days after, I visited the site to continue my search of candidates. There was a message from him.

‘Hey, you haven’t responded to my email.’

‘I didn’t like your last comment at all!’

‘I was joking. You need to chill out.’

‘No, you were not joking and you blew it big time with me. This conversation is over.’

I logged out the page and went back to my usual activity for the night.

I didn’t go back to the site about a few more days later. His messages were still there and there were no new one from him after I basically told him off. So, the next best thing to do was to delete all of them.

I think he tried to send me another one some days later, but I didn’t read it. I just deleted it as well.

I didn’t have any questioning towards myself. I was actually proud of myself as to how I reacted to the whole thing.

Well, hey, I’ve made progress, huge indeed. So what’s next for me? Just try, try again.

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I then decided to reply to him and see where this conversation would lead.

‘Hey, are you also a firefighter?’ asked I.

‘No, just a paramedic’, answered he.

‘So you work every other day.’

‘Yes and at my job right now.’

‘So if there’s no calls you sit by the computer.’

‘Yes, how do you know?’

‘I was once friend’s with a firefighter and had the opportunity to visit the station where he worked. His colleagues were studying, watching TV, or surfing the net. It was a nice experience.’

‘The guy or the station?’

‘Both.’

‘So what happened that you two are not together?’

‘It just didn’t work out. Listen, I had a long day, so maybe we’ll chat some more tomorrow’, concluded I.

It was true that I had a stressful day, but wasn’t in the mood in getting into details about an experience that happened a long time ago (see ‘You Can Be My Hero’).

That particular guy was like the second I met right out of what I’ve always referred to as ‘my past life’. Right now I don’t need to dwell on the reasons of why we stopped even having a conversation.

There was a time when I was upset about the whole incident, but now it just feels like a blur, or perhaps something lived out of a movie or something.

I have no regrets about it or feel any more anger towards him or the moment. In simple words, it wasn’t meant to be and wouldn’t have worked out in the present either.

If I take a humorous approach to it, all I can say is, ‘what was I thinking?’ That maybe something extraordinary could happen, that I was meant to be rescued by someone I barely knew, when in fact I started rescuing everything that I represented and the new life I had barely started to live.

I sometimes think about Bryan and how we met, and the brief moments we shared. He wasn’t really a bad person. He was just someone who was different from me in so many ways in personality, life experiences, upbringing, and else that I’m certain now it never stood a chance of becoming anything.

And then there’s me. I always strive for in having achieving something as minimal as a friendship. That’s the semi-romantic side of me that wants to say, ‘something positive came out of this’.

If I look at that, then I can say that this guy came into my life because he was the type of person I needed to meet when I had just re-started this whole dating craziness.

He came, he gave, and then he left when the alarm went off and was time to go, that’s all. I have no regrets and that’s the way it should be.



I opened the email and the impression I got from the photo was that he looked way younger than his actual age.

I then viewed his profile and it showed that he was 35. His face had a boyish look, which made me feel that I was dealing instead with a 20-something.

His profession was as a paramedic and that he was currently pursuing a graduate degree in a field related to healthcare.

It was good to read that he had other ambitions in life. To me, that translates that you’re a non-conformist and willing to take a new challenge.

Working full-time and then going to school is not easy task. I did that and made me feel proud of myself that I completed a self-established goal.

The unfortunate part of having a relationship with someone who’s a paramedic (that at times are also firefighters) is their schedule. They work every other day and, depending on your seniority, usually the night shift.

Add other activities into your schedule means no time for anything else. And if you’re in a relationship and/or have children, your agenda is totally booked.

This guy has no kids, but I just knew that he wasn’t really for me. After having guys dropping off the radar pretty much right from the start, I’m going to be very cautious of how I do anything from now on.

But, like I did before, I will try to take these experiences with a humorous approach. This way it won’t affect me and the recovery is almost instant.

It may sound contradictory that I’m allowing myself to experience certain moments when they’re bound to be short-lived.

But if I change my approach into looking what I would gain (like building my character) instead of losing (like getting mad), isn’t it worth it?

Everything that one does has a risk attached to it and if you’re not willing to take them, you’ll never take off the ground to reach where you want to go.



et cetera