The New M.E. Generation











As soon as I hanged up my  mobile, I called my new ‘bestie’ to tell her about what unfolded on the phone call.

“Hey, I just spoke with this guy’s mom and she said that the bitch and him are set to be married in October!” said I in a tone like the world was about to end. Surprisingly she took it very well.

“Listen, when I first saw him again after all these years, he greeted me with lots of hugs and kisses, which took me totally by surprise. He was super happy, or so he pretended to be. My idea was to get together and talk everything out regarding our past relationship and move on.

I wasn’t expecting things to evolve, but they did. In other words, he eventually told me he wanted to get back with me and marry as well,” said she.

“He did?? What?? And he was telling me that ‘we could make a good team’? I know that sounds totally moronic when I now think about it, but he also wanted to be with me in a serious relationship. Well, that’s what I understood. He even said he was sure it would work.

It even got to a point where I was wondering if nothing was happening with other guys because it was meant for me to be with him, that I wasn’t seeing the signs that life was giving me,” continued I.

“I remember when seeing the pictures of the two of you during your vacation trip. I texted him that ‘so glad you and Emma are together’, meaning as in a couple, not of reuniting with someone you haven’t seen in years, which is what he thought I conveyed.

If the two of you have occurred, I would have been fine with it. And regards that so-called marriage, if this guy was that serious about it, he would have done so already a long time ago.

I think this is just something he’s saying will do to try to make his relationship ‘look legal’ in front of the church, his mom, and everyone else who was involved with him after his breakup. And another thing, how coincidental it is that his work contract ends at the end of October? How does he pretends to support himself without employment and she working cleaning offices earning minimum wage at a job that he found for her?

This sounds to me like some crappy show that now he’s the biggest religious person, that all has been forgiven, that all is possible if you believe in the Lord, blah blah blah. Please, who is he trying to fool? Himself? His mom? Certainly not me.

I’m not going to lose sleep over it. And trust me that it won’t happen. I know him,” concluded she.

It’s true; I thought I knew this guy well, but now I feel I never knew him at all. He looks like someone who was living a double life and was a master at it.

Question is, what was he trying to gain? Did he thought his plot wouldn’t get discovered? Why did he play a game with two people that cared and loved him so much?

Seems to me that he was getting back at us for whatever his reasons might have been. And he created all this fake scenery so we believed in anything he presented to us to lure us in. What he doesn’t know is that his net of lies is getting untangled and might turn up against him one day.

This guy may have worked all his youth at his father’s pharmacy and learned how to run a business, but he definitely needs a taste of his own medicine and get a lesson that people are not prescriptions that you self-medicate with depending on what you want to solve.

That being said, what happens next? For starters, stop calling the mom; I’m not interested in listening any more nauseating stories.

“One time I called her and she dished the whole conversation to that bitch,” my bestie said. Wow, major backstabbing. Make that 2 reasons; my phone call will give the mom ‘lots to talk about to her son’. How sad that this woman (who I once respected) is been brainwashed and controlled by her own son.

Other than the no calls, all left to do is sit down and wait for the official toxic wedding to begin, if that. “Is there is anyone here who objects to this, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

Hey bestie, want to crash a wedding? Hahaha.

 



I don’t remember if I ever got to see Jeffrey again after his visit to my new place. But we would talk on the phone, on and off, of course.

A few months later, his birthday came up. From our previous conversations, I knew things were still the same as usual. His relationship had gotten worse, his business was struggling, and he couldn’t see the day that his life in general would start change for the better (or he finally had the guts to make this change).

So the only thing I could do was to call him and wish him well. “Jeff, hi, it’s me. I know it’s your birthday so I wanted to wish you good things your way, and that all gets resolved for the best. Love you man.”

A few hours later he returned my call. His voice sounded that he was touched by my message and even teary-eyed. ‘Thank you very much’ was all he could say because his voice chocked.

He was on the verge of crying but he held back. I knew he was deeply sad but didn’t tell me.

I told him again that I appreciated him, thought he was a wonderful person, and that nothing would give me more peace than him finally turning his life around and be happy. All he could answer was ‘I know’ repeatedly.

Yes, I was reaching out to him, but I could feel he was holding back to accept my love for him. I know why he did.

When one has been hurt so much and the pain takes over, you don’t allow yourself for the good to touch you because one feels that, in the long run, it will turn around to become bad and hurt you yet again.

It’s easier to build a wall that shields you because it is all one has known.

We want the good, but we’re scared of it. One thinks that if we shift our emotions to neutral, or not feeling anything, we will be fine.

But we’re not.



Whatever Jeffrey and I shared, it kept going for a few months (on and off, of course).

I wasn’t thinking about what to expect or even hope for it. I took it as it came because other situations had taken priority.

The divorce was about to be finalized and one of the agreements was that I would move out of the residence. That meant I would loose the home I worked so hard to build, and downsize my existence into a smaller place.

On top of that, the lease on my vehicle was about to expire and my job was on the line.

The time was coming close for me to face the world on my own, and I was utterly scared.

And, like it happens in life, may it be good or bad things, when they come, they do in multiples.

I was working on the computer when Jeffrey sent me a text message: ‘I can’t keep doing this any longer. It’s not fair for anyone.’  I felt as if someone had just stabbed me on my heart.

The thing I had dreaded the most happened. He was walking out of my life. And the thing I shouldn’t have done, also happened. I had fallen for him.

I knew his departure would eventually happen, but did it have to be now?

All I thought I could do was to call him. He had mentioned he was going home for a couple of weeks, so at least I wanted to give closure to this.

“So I guess she found out about it, right?” asked I.

“Yes, which have made matters worse.”

“Is she going with you?”

“No way! I need to take care of some family matters and need to be alone to figure things out.”

I took a quick pause before continuing. “I never expected anything from you, you know that.”

“I know,” said he. His tone of voice lowered and I could tell he was looking for a way to end the conversation. “Hmm, I’m leaving tomorrow and need to get everything ready.”

“I understand… I know you get uncomfortable when I’ve said that I care about you and wish only the best for you. Please take care of yourself, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

I believe Jeff got emotional when he said good-bye. I surely did. I sat there with my face sunk between my hands crying miserably.

I was crying, alone, with no one to give me comfort. I had lost so much already, and now this?

What’s next in line for me?



Shortly after Jay and I became online friends, he emailed me saying that he was planning to make a trip to a location about 40 minutes away from where I lived to do water skiing, and asked me if I would consider driving there and meeting up with him.

‘You? You have an interest in me? Since when? From what?’ were questions that crossed my mind.

The way I was looking at things was that I just got back from a trip from which I only knew this person for 5 minutes.

Yes, you did help me to finally water ski (and I will always be grateful for that). But how is it possible that in those ‘5 minutes’ you developed some interest in me?

Let’s get real here. Before we became online friends, you only knew me for my first name. That’s it!

All you saw was this girl running around the resort having a good time. I wanted to meet guys, but to just keep them as friends, if that.

‘So what’s is it going to be?’ Hmm, I’m not quite ready to make any quantum leaps at this time. But Jay’s display of attention and interest also intrigues me.

If I say ‘yes’ and meet up with him, I will probably regret it afterwards. If I say ‘no,’ he will take it personally. (I know this feeling quite too well.) I know!

“Jay, I’m sort of seeing someone at this time, and would be unfair to you or this person if I went up to see you.” (This sounds so 3pm soap.) “But would like to continue our online friendship if possible.”

Jay and I kept talking online, but, in the end, he did not make it down, not sure why, but certainly not because of me. Well, that’s what he said, that there had been a change in plans. He probably realized the truth and came up with some excuse himself as well.

But, this was not the end of it. Shortly after telling me he was not going to be able to make it, he said he had another vacation time a couple of months later. And he would greatly want to water ski and spend some time with me, being the second the decisive factor of the trip.

Aah, what? Me over water skiing?

Don’t know what to say…



et cetera