The New M.E. Generation











My friend was able to get himself together to enjoy our meals. I tried to take his mind away from his grandmother by talking about him and his job search. He was optimistic as always and confident that the right opportunity would come along.

And as usual, I avoided talking about my plans since I had none, because I had no idea what I was to do with myself.

My self-esteem then was one of being able to find and secure a job, but not enough talent to aspire a high level position.

My friend would try to encourage me by saying that once I graduated I was now a professional and that would set me apart from other people. That sounded very nice, but holding a diploma in my hand wasn’t going to change me immediately into a whole new person.

Still, I tried to hold those positive thoughts that even being confused about my future didn’t meant to lose faith of having a fulfilling life.

Before my friend left, we bought some boxed wine and sat close to sundown on a boardwalk next to a river and my residence.

I borrowed my roommate’s glasses and drinking that wine was the best I’ve had. It was one of those special moments I had with him, but this one was different from all others. There was a peacefulness and tranquility I hadn’t felt in a while.

I sort of looked at him more than that of a friend, maybe because I thought that’s what he wanted from me, but again nothing happened.

I’m sure that the people that walked by thought we were a couple. But that feeling of leaving things as they were became present once more. As the word literally implies, I was about to leave school and he in a day to who knows where.

It was as when leaving high school; there were paths that we both needed to travel again for ourselves before they could cross again, if that.

Sitting there with him was one of those moments you wished it could stay like that. His advice and protection had always leaded me the right way which didn’t want to lose.

It’s a feeling I’ve never forgotten that if it could have been bottled and preserved for the future, would have done it.

But as I would learn the hard way many years later, even if you kept things well taken care of in a box (like the wine), they all have an expiration date.

What I mean is that people change and with that their feelings. When you see inside that box, its contents have also changed. They age greatly to the point that it’s hard to believe those moments actually happened. And the worst part is that instead of bringing us joy, the pain is even greater than the good.

So what are we to do? What do we now make of the ‘then’?

I don’t know; maybe just closing the box and leave what’s inside as it is. Perhaps it’s getting a new one and filling it up with experiences we create ourselves, without leaning on others to make it happen.

Maybe that’s what it is: creating more boxes as we go along and storing them in our minds, only to be opened when really necessary.

Yep, if only life was that simple.

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I was so relieved when he finally left! I had my space back all to myself and I couldn’t be happier. I just wanted to get my beauty sleep and enjoy what was left of the weekend.

But before I hit the sack on my own, I took care of the first part of my routine, which is as important as my rest: washing up.

I just love being clean and go to bed, watch some television and when totally tired, just get comfortable and fly away to another dimension.

I was on a deep sleep and happily dreaming away when it was all interrupted by a text message.

‘I made it home in one piece but I can’t believe you made me drive back in my condition. You’re a mean girl. You shouldn’t have treated me this way when I was nice to you.’

I somewhat read the first part of it, but when I saw the ‘I can’t believe’ part, I got mad, closed the message and went back to sleep.

Until how long am I still going to get his whining? Is this day (or morning) ever coming to an end?

Forget it, I’ve had it with this guy!

Having the feeling he would most probably text again or, maybe worse, call me, I turned off the ringer on my phone.

I’ll deal with this when I wake up, if that. When you mess up with my sleep, I’m no beauty in the morning!



I may have had bad luck with guys, but I’ve learned to appreciate the good things that happen to my male friends.

Maybe it is because I can see that one day I can have what enriches their life, including hopefully finding a new love for me. But how can that happen if I don’t even score a date? I haven’t had one in such a long time, I don’t even know what that is any more. Whatever, I’m not going to get annoyed by this. I’ll just throw it into the universe and see what happens, if that.

I completely forgot my need for a date when something totally new to me happened. One day I made a comment to one of my male friends posts, and, on the next day, another guy posted a comment that was directed more to me than at my friend.

‘Damn dude,’ said this other guy, ‘I didn’t know you had such a pretty friend. She and I should go out together.’

Thank you, whomever you are, for making that remark for the whole network of people to know about. Besides, that photo of yours doesn’t show much of you, so not very impressed here.

I mean, who is this guy anyway?



Shortly after Jay and I became online friends, he emailed me saying that he was planning to make a trip to a location about 40 minutes away from where I lived to do water skiing, and asked me if I would consider driving there and meeting up with him.

‘You? You have an interest in me? Since when? From what?’ were questions that crossed my mind.

The way I was looking at things was that I just got back from a trip from which I only knew this person for 5 minutes.

Yes, you did help me to finally water ski (and I will always be grateful for that). But how is it possible that in those ‘5 minutes’ you developed some interest in me?

Let’s get real here. Before we became online friends, you only knew me for my first name. That’s it!

All you saw was this girl running around the resort having a good time. I wanted to meet guys, but to just keep them as friends, if that.

‘So what’s is it going to be?’ Hmm, I’m not quite ready to make any quantum leaps at this time. But Jay’s display of attention and interest also intrigues me.

If I say ‘yes’ and meet up with him, I will probably regret it afterwards. If I say ‘no,’ he will take it personally. (I know this feeling quite too well.) I know!

“Jay, I’m sort of seeing someone at this time, and would be unfair to you or this person if I went up to see you.” (This sounds so 3pm soap.) “But would like to continue our online friendship if possible.”

Jay and I kept talking online, but, in the end, he did not make it down, not sure why, but certainly not because of me. Well, that’s what he said, that there had been a change in plans. He probably realized the truth and came up with some excuse himself as well.

But, this was not the end of it. Shortly after telling me he was not going to be able to make it, he said he had another vacation time a couple of months later. And he would greatly want to water ski and spend some time with me, being the second the decisive factor of the trip.

Aah, what? Me over water skiing?

Don’t know what to say…



Here’s what happened. What I meant by ‘hooking up’ is that I let Ricky into my life right from the start. Meaning he started hanging out in my apartment all the time because I allowed that to happen.

Don’t get me wrong. It was great, at the beginning, when everything feels good, before you start discovering the things that make you different from the other person. Or putted in better words, before the things that irritate you start coming out.

On top of that, I made the biggest mistake of them all: I developed feelings for him before I got to know him as a person, to at least figure out if it was worth keeping him as a friend, or figure out if he was good enough material to possibly go beyond that.

In other words, I should have not gotten emotionally involved with Ricky in any way.

I spent so much time with him that I even helped him move out into a new place and offered to ‘take care’ of an artwork he was going to put away temporarily. (Between you and me, I think it looks better in my place.)

But although Ricky and I were ‘together’ he didn’t see it that we were actually ‘together.’ How so? Not even once did he invite me to meet his family or visit his home. He referred me to his mom as just ‘a friend.’

Sounds confusing? It was, sort of. But that’s what happens when your emotions take over your head and don’t allow you to see clearly.

And the reality was right there, loud and clear, which was that it was over before it even started, if that.



et cetera