The New M.E. Generation











My Senior year was a mix of many emotions. I was proud of myself for getting this far without having resorted to any negative behavior to help me deal with my insecurities I had about myself. I had zero tolerance for drugs and alcohol, and had no interest in even getting close to them.

At home it was just my mom and me. Although I wasn’t happy being there, I enjoyed the alone time I had when my mom was at work.

Although I still had responsibilities, at least I felt some sort of independence and space for myself. All I wanted to do was bring my best in school, graduate and go away.

Many of these feelings still remain with me today. I have become accustomed to my living conditions and like the freedom to do as I want without being judged. I still stay away from anything I believe will be bad for me.

In spite of experiencing way more difficult situations as an adult, I have always known what’s good and bad. I will say I have been very lucky and blessed to never stray.

At school it felt weird not seeing my friend around. I would learn about him when visiting the pharmacy and hair salon. It all seemed he was doing very well, as if the experience of before didn’t have a permanent effect on him.

Ironically, we didn’t write or called each other much that I recall. I would relay a message through his family, which I hoped he would receive.

He moving away was the best thing happening. From my end he looked like a fully developed adult that wouldn’t stop at anything to get ahead.

In spite the distance and lack of communication between us, I didn’t realize how he kept influencing me for the better. He was the best example to follow that you could overcome any situation if that’s what you chose to do.

And now we both have totally distanced from each other by choice. He did it first and I followed when I felt that he became a threat to my emotional balance and wellbeing.

He almost turned my world upside down and I hate him for that, but I didn’t allow it. It was heartbreaking to do, but it was something that I needed to do and don’t regret it.

It has taken me a lot to ‘graduate’ to where I am today. And like when he was my friend, I will continue moving forward, not letting anything deter me in going the distance to reach my dreams.

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Unfortunately, the reconnection was short lived.

Shortly after our last conversation, I noticed that he basically discontinued any sort of communication.

If he responded to any email, he would write that he was busy with work, or would give some other cheap excuse for his lack or delay to respond.

Even at times when I’ve had a tough day or needed a sympathetic ear to listen to me, the emails reflected a lack of support and understanding, which were very different from the ones I received when we first reconnected.

From one day to the next, I was not important to him any longer and had a feeling he had taken me out of his life, again. But not the way I thought it did.

One day, out of nowhere, all I got was a brief email stating that ‘my wife saw your pictures at the social site and asked me a lot of questions about you. It was a very intense conversation. I need some time to figure out things, but I hope that we keep being friends.’

I was shocked at what I read and all confused as to what it meant, until it quickly hit me.

I went online to the site and the blow was even worse; he deleted me as his friend. And, his profile was created in a way that it could not be located by others searching for it.

‘He deleted me, Why, why?’ is all that crossed my mind as I stared at the screen.

Sadness engulfed me pretty much the same way it did when I tried to remember the last time I saw him.

I don’t know how much time passed when I started to cry and did so for some more time until I couldn’t any more.

He’s gone, again. Life repeated itself, again. No closure on this situation, again. All I could do then was close the website and computer, and try to go to sleep.



et cetera