The New M.E. Generation











After learning that he’s single, again, I started wondering how interested this guy really is about seeing me. I know his ‘last minute’ appearances will never work for me, so, can anything happen whenever he’s not complicated, if there is such a time like that?

Me: “I was thinking that you don’t have to wait for one of your work trips to come this way.”

Him: “No. I don’t. Right now I can’t leave because I have a super sick patient and have to be available for him. I haven’t had time for myself.”

(Recap: In the past, whenever I invited him, he always had an excuse, mostly that he was busy with his kids. Honestly, don’t know how he has managed to be with anyone, period.)

Me: “Just a thought.”

Him: “Good thought.” (At least he didn’t say no to it.)

A few days later, while driving home from work, I hear “Come Sail Away” on the radio. I texted him about the song and his high school Farewell Assembly later in the evening.

Me: “You were sitting in the front row. Wore like a light brown suit. You got like 4 cards. One was mine. You got surprised and later got sort of teary eyed when you read them. If I recall correctly.”

I skipped mentioning the end part of the activity when I got up on stage, shed a few tears myself, and he sort of broke into a dance while the song was being played.

Him: “That was me.” (As in ‘that’s who I was then’ or ‘that is indeed the person you’re referring to’?)

As other memories crossed my mind, the interest of me seeing him slightly grew. Problem is, according to him he’s too busy to come here, and he has never invited me to go his way.

So as I have done since always, I debated whether or not to say that I could go visit him. I know it’s been about 2 years since I last heard of him, that I shouldn’t base things on the past, and the chances of this happening are zero to none, but…

Me: “Perhaps I could go your way sometime in the future?”

Him: “Perhaps. You can drive your new car although that’s a lot of miles to put on a lease.” (So that means ‘no’?)

He forwards me a map of his location and the shortest route is basically 4 hours away. That is, if you don’t make any stops.

Me: “I’m not talking about doing it all the time. At least once.”

I do appreciate his concern about my lease. But I got the vehicle almost 3 months ago and I’m only driving it short distances, so there’s plenty of miles to go before even getting close to my yearly limit.

And using my transportation situation as the reason for me not visiting him raises a huge red flag. It makes me believe that he’s hiding something and is not as single as he claims to be. I didn’t get a good feeling about it, so I left it at that for now.

With all honesty, I wish I could make this trip, not because of him, but for myself. You see, the beach is where it all began. It’s where I met him, shared the nice moments, and even got to see him for who he really was.

I too learned about a side of myself that I didn’t know I had, which would be nice for me to rediscover. I know I can’t bring back the past, but I believe me there together will finally allow me to say what needs to be said and move on.

All I’m asking from the universe is just this one time, because “if you do it right, once is enough.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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As I continue on my online quest to meet a guy, I did the swipe thing again shortly before my trip with Dina.

This time I connected with one that caught my attention, not because of his looks, but because he worked in the same company as the husband of a girlfriend of mine.

This meant that, one, he should be as good as a person as my GF’s man and, two, I can get any information I want to know about him through my friends, hopefully eliminating all the mysteries surrounding someone you don’t know.

This person, which I will refer to as Bob, looked respectable from his photos. He’s about 5 years older than me and although he has no hair (as in bald, which I never done before of meeting someone like that), I reminded myself to keep my options open, like my bestie always says.

Because I had his first name and that of his employer, I did a search, and found his profiles. The work one had no photo of him, plus the information didn’t seem current, and his social one was very plain. It basically had no content other than the photos he posted of himself in the app.

This is what happens with social media. Either people post too much, or are so closed to the world that you wonder if they’re hiding something. Again, I will try not to jump ahead of myself.

At the same time, if you’re not one who will dedicate time in engaging with your profiles (either personal or professional), then why bother having one?

I think Bob gave me his email before my trip, but did let him know that I was traveling and would touch base with him upon my return, which I did.

He gave me his number and I made the first call on a weekday sometime after work. He picked the call about in the third ring and his voice sounded as one that matched his physical.

We were on the phone for at least an hour and we shared small talk about my trip, work, family, etc., without going to further details, but he seemed to enjoy and interested in what I had to say.

If we did get into a more serious topic, like divorce, it was discussed mildly as in ‘how many years ago it happened’ or other basics.

One thing I didn’t ask him, which probably I should have, was if he was seeing anyone else. He didn’t ask me either and, from what I heard from him, he didn’t sound like he was.

The one detail that was really disappointing was that he lives about an hour or so away from me, which is not what the app showed. I guess the software displays the location of the person of where they are at the moment when one is using the app.

My bad luck with that ‘there’s always something with the guys’ I meet happened yet again. Is this the universe giving me a heads up early on that it won’t happen with this one either? If so, why then did he had to come into my life?

After the first conversation, I called him a couple of more times until I felt that, if he was interested in continuing talking, he should be the one now making the call.

He did a few days later and said on the phone something like, ‘you have been the one calling me, so I thought it was my turn to do so now’. Ok, he seems to be interested.

We eventually spoke a few more times (I believe taking turns) and I think I was the one to ask him if we should meet, to which he accepted.

Since his work is located at a reasonable distance from where I live, I recommended meeting at a bar at a mall near my home on a Friday after work. Although I’ve never been there, the location was one of those with an open design concept that seemed the best one for meeting someone for the first time.

I will admit I was nervous, so much so that I couldn’t decide what to wear. I searched among my clothes some days before looking for something that would click. I put a few ideas aside, but ended up wearing something I decided upon last minute.

Not only did I wanted to make a good impression, I wanted something that I felt represented my personality at that moment. Call me a diva or fashion exaggerated, but my vision was realized.

I remember driving to the mall and walking with these high heels I haven’t worn for a while, so I was trying to establish a flow in the walk as graceful as I could from the parking to the bar, which was all the way to the end of the restaurants wing.

I kept my sunglasses on (trying to pull an Audrey Hepburn) and as I was about to make my entrance to the establishment, I saw how much nicer it was from the internet photos.

And then I see Bob sitting right across the entrance, staring at everyone going in, waiting for me.

What was my reaction when I first saw him? Quite frankly, I don’t remember.

I do remember managing to walk with those heels without a hitch and my dual-tone sunglasses.

Yep, as fashionistas say where I come from: “La moda aunque me joda” (Fashion or bust).

So what happens next? The greeting and sitting down. And everything else, hopefully.

And I’ll need a drink for all that. Cheers!



{February 8, 2016}   The Ex-Friend 22 – Cold plate

In spite of all my friend’s oddities, I still believed in him and that he would eventually find a way to get his life back on track as he has always proven to do so.

That’s how I was back then, I loved people so much, I overlooked those red flags that were alerting me I needed to handle situations differently.

I gave people endless opportunities because I believed in them, but this same goodness I gave others would be the same one others abused of and eventually lead getting betrayed by them, a hard lesson that I got many times over from those I thought were my friends .

After the birthday incident, he had remaining about 1 more month on his job. From there he had no solid offers, even though he was in conversations with his employers about the possibility of an opening 2 states away from his current location.

I don’t remember the order of the next sequence of events, but the end of the year was coming soon. I do remember that he was with his mom celebrating Christmas and his birthday, which is also in December.

He had told me originally that if I didn’t had plans for New Year’s Eve, to drive to his mom’s and spent it with them. I had told him yes, but he backed down at the last minute, citing that he was still dealing with issues with his ex, and that there could a possibility of working things out, and my presence would dampen that.

I was really upset and had to call on a couple friend of mine that I would always spend this date with, to ask them if they could accommodate me and they did as always.

My then friend showed no emotion to what he did. “If you don’t have where to go, you can come here,” said he when I was still scrambling to find an outfit and a gift for my hosts.

Really? You’re telling me this when this event is happening tonight? You expect me to drive 4 hours if all else fails for me? And you’re trying to do what? Feeling sorry for me for screwing such an important time of the year? Trying to modify your heartless act? What are you taking me for?

After so many times you had told me you tried to fix thing with your ex and she didn’t wanted to and treated you like trash, that she’s a person who is ‘on the devil’s side’ and would talk to you with her fists up in her face ‘ready to strike back’, of whom you have never, ever, mentioned anything positive about, and you’re still hanging on to a ‘possibility’?

You, the one who always said to get rid of people (especially guys) who are worthless or useless, still want something with someone who has proven to be exactly that?

You may be totally immersed in your faith, but you have clearly turned your back to those who really love you. If there were a poster child for love-hate relationships, it would be you.

And I thought I had it bad. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

What an a-hole he was becoming. I don’t think I wished him a happy birthday or new year. But why should I?

“Tú no eres plato de segunda mesa” (you’re not a second plate from a side table) is another quote he would always say.

Fine, I’ll serve it to you straight up: go f— yourself (and that low quality creature). Cheers!



I woke up the next day wondering if this one was going to be as wonderful as the day before.

Most of it is a blur, but Johann and I somehow communicated and agreed to meet to go to the beach. I don’t know what I told my mother, but I managed for her to drop me at the ship.

From there, Johann, a colleague of his, and I took a cab to one of the many beaches in the area, about 20 minutes away. I wanted to go away from the area as much as possible hoping not to come across anyone I knew.

I don’t think I saw anyone known. I probably kept the clothes covering my bathing suit on, as I felt awkward with my body back then, and didn’t want to expose too much to two guys I barely knew. Besides that, we all had a great time.

Regarding getting back home, I know we all took another cab and guess it dropped me home first. It was probably then when I had to say good-bye. I’m sure I gave him a big hug, thanked him for all his attentions and wished him well. I probably held back on crying because I felt I would never see him again.

The ship was scheduled to leave the next day (Monday) while I was still in school.

I know I was distracted from my work, wishing I could just get there before it left. Like any teenager, I probably ran the idea like a classic scene from a romantic movie, which would go like this:

I would get to the ship last minute with my friends the day I met him, just when the ropes were being untied and the horns were rang announcing its departure.

Among all the noise, I asked someone to find Johann. He would rush out and find a way to step off the ship. We would then hug and kiss, with everyone else cheering and clapping for us.

While we still embraced, I will tell him to his ear, ‘I will never forget you’.

Johann would jump back to the ship and would stay there looking at me until he was gone. I would wave good-bye and cry. My friends would gather around to comfort me.

But, no, all I could do was sit on my third floor classroom and look out the window to the horizon. He was on my mind the whole day and wondered if he did the same.

It may have been a 3-day experience, but it was definitely one that has never repeated.

After that day, my life went back to the usual, but now waiting for the next chapter of it, if there was going to be one.

All right, time to check the mail!



et cetera