The New M.E. Generation

I couldn’t get to sleep that night. All that had to do with he and I kept going around my mind over and over with no resolution.

When I finally fell asleep, I had a dream. In it, he and I were standing face to face. I looked at him straight to his eyes and repeatedly asked him, ‘Why did you leave me? Why?’ while trying to push him away.

He didn’t answer me. He held my hands and I lowered my head with tears coming out of my eyes. He then hugged me and I placed my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt an immense sense of peace.

I then woke up and stared at the ceiling in the dark, and it all came back to me. We never concluded what we had the last time we saw each other. We simply turned around and walked away from each other and our feelings. We let go of everything that joined us, but not of what we felt towards each other.

So what happens next? Nothing. What we shared belongs to that time and there’s nothing else for me to do other than learn from it and finally close that chapter of my life.

Maybe we needed to part ways and find each other again so we could get it right the second time around. And I think we finally did that, even in the distance. It is now up to us to decide if the connection remains or we part ways again.

Whatever the outcome, he will always remain in my thoughts and can only wish the best for him.

So I guess it will be good-bye, for now.

I was glad I could finally give closure to this past experience. But I want to keep it ‘in mind’ from time to time. It’s always a good lesson to go back to.

I stared at the baby pictures a little bit longer and decided to send one of me so he could see how I looked today. But I also wanted to know what he thought I looked like.

I was also curious to see a current image of him. He was not available at any social network, so even more the interest. I remember that he was very committed to exercising, which I bet he was still much involved with today.

But, why should he include a picture of himself? After all, he’s married and it may not sit well with his spouse (if she finds out). Maybe he could include a picture of his whole family. That would be nice to see.

Maybe that’s not what I need to see to finally feel peaceful, seeing that life has given him al that he truly deserved, and more.


et cetera