The New M.E. Generation

Once my friend settled down his luggage, ate, spoke with his mom and ‘bro’, he mellowed down as if nothing had happened.

After it got late and everyone headed either home or to their rooms to end the night, my friend brought with him his computer so we could watch a movie or something. He also had a rum drink that, once again, looked really loaded, as one of those that hadn’t changed much in color, in spite of the amount of ice in it.

Regarding the computer, that was an item that when the nasty breakup occurred, this guy decided to leave with the bitch so ‘she could have a computer to work from’ or something.

One of his three cars he also originally left with her so she could ‘have a way to move around to work and so forth’ during the transition. His plan was that in one of those trips back to that hateful place for reasons I don’t recall, my then friend was to direct his ex where to leave the car with the keys and computer inside in a location determined by him, so the buddy of his (the one he was living at the house until getting kicked out) could pick it up and take it to my friend.

Don’t get me wrong, if you hate your ex so much and things ended in the worst of ways, why are you still helping him/her? Even with the mobile phone, he was still paying for her plan in his account months after they separated.

According to my friend, after he left her, she was calling a girlfriend of hers every 5 minutes or less, calls which were detailed in the bill, as the girlfriend was now ‘mi paño de lágrimas’ (my tears cloth) who was helping her deal with the situation.

My friend referred to this girlfriend as ‘la amiga putona de ella’ (the slut girlfriend of hers), ‘alguien del lado del diablo’ (someone who’s on the devil’s side), ‘someone you can’t trust’, even implying that they had become so close, both females were now in a lesbian relationship, and this guy hates ‘certain kinds of people’, which makes matters worse for him.

Even more, this guy was convinced that the ex’s unwillingness to change or try to save the relationship was to blame for this other person who was influencing and advising her for the worst, making this guy look as ‘the one who caused the relationship to fall apart’ and that ‘he was no longer needed as the bitch had replaced him with someone else’.

So, again, if your goal is to cut all ties with someone who doesn’t deserve anything good from you, the one above, life and even earth itself, why go as far as still paying for her mobile when she’s continuing to take advantage of you?

And all these stories I would hear over and over for more than a year, to see that my friend never got over or couldn’t accept this relationship was the biggest failure in his life. He kept looking for answers in religion and beyond, always thinking that if she did as he said of ‘getting spiritual and psychological help’, things could be turned around for the better, which to that day weren’t happening and probably never would.

The ‘positive’ side of all this was that in between his failed job in the Pacific, coming back home and else, he had cut back greatly on all comments and conversations of this nature, until now.

I was lying down in the bed watching a movie in the computer and he was sitting to my left on the ledge of the bed, almost facing back to me, texting non-stop, while also having a conversation with me.

I knew right away who he was texting to, which made me very upset. This guy and that ex of his had also been engaged in a ‘war of words’ in every social medium possible, a battle of ‘he said, she said’ that would only escalate in more fights and arguments.

‘Every time I try to talk to her in person, she sits there with an angry face, sporting an attitude of having her fists up like a boxer, ready to punch me,’ said he to me before. ‘She won’t admit she’s wrong and has no interest on making changes on her part.’

I kept looking at the screen and made faces to myself, pretending I was reacting to what I was watching, as I was contemplating either to tell him how upsetting and disrespectful it was of him having the nerve of communicating with that bitch next to me, even more when he had offered me to have a relationship with me in the past.

But I was not at home and, out of respect to his mom, knew another kind of battle could happen there and now, which I preferred not to unfold. I had already told him that ‘I wanted no business with him if he want back to her’, and I was leaving the next day, so the best was to look the other way (at the computer that is), and make believe I didn’t see anything.

“If a guy treats you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit; no exceptions,” said the male character in the movie. I’ve seen this one countless times and get emotional each instance I see that scene, which was speaking directly at me.

“Thank you; you’ve given me a lot to think about,” replies the female character.

Yep, the only guy in my life who used to care about me was now genuinely playing a character that was proving me otherwise. It wasn’t a matter that I needed to think about it to figure it out, but rather thinking of what I was to do when the weekend was over.

“Do you want to save this relationship?” asks another female character. “Yes,” replies a second male character in an unsure tone. I looked at this guy and asked myself the same thing, only to see that the answer was right there before me. I’ll take it as a no.



{December 22, 2014}   Love At First Site 26 – I blue it

My table is not that big, so as much as you try to avoid the other person is not possible.

I complemented him on his cooking skills and wanting to eat healthy. I tried to engage in ‘small talk’ as much as possible. I was making eye contact as I was trying not to look away from the reality here: he’s still and will always be old enough to be my child.

I didn’t think about the cougar thing; I knew getting involved with him would get me nowhere and would unbalance my emotional state that I have worked so hard to reinstate.

The comment about my TV’s wasn’t just one that hit a nerve, it was also one that the universe was throwing at me so I would be aware of what to expect from this guy if I allowed for anything to happen beyond this night.

The message is that there will always be something that will remind me of the age difference and thus feeling ‘old’, trigger some other negative emotions, and who knows what else. There’s the other detail about him that his plan is to leave the city to go to med school somewhere else.

I know that (maybe) we could be friends or I should keep my options open regarding anything social. But, am I really interested in investing time with him when I should stick to doing that for myself? I may sound selfish, but in the end it’s all about me.

I kept the mindless conversation going and tried not to think about the big elephant in the room, so I kept looking at his very blue eyes, which began to mesmerize me.

I thought that maybe I should complement him on that as well. But after I say that, what next?

I guess this is what it feels like when ‘you’re having the blues’?

et cetera