The New M.E. Generation











{December 26, 2016}   The Swipe 14 – Not unusual

“Hi, nice meeting you finally,” said I to Bob while shaking his hand and kissing him on the cheek. I sat down with him on the reception area of the bar/restaurant to wait to get a table.

“You look nice,” said he to me. “Thanks, you too,” replied I. I was glad he complemented my attire. What he was wearing may have been simple (dark trousers and a white long sleeve shirt), but it suited him well.

Something that did get more of my attention was that he was wearing a long gold necklace that he kept inside his shirt. I did my best to keep my vision on him, and not down this shirt. But I have to admit I was curious to see what was at the end of it, don’t know why.

I mean, I’m personally not against men wearing necklaces, tattoos, piercing, or earrings. But if it is with somebody I’m involved with somehow, then they will bother me, and my attitude for them hasn’t changed with time.

From all those I only wear earrings, which is socially and culturally accepted for women. But I only have the traditional one hole per ear. If I was to wear anything else on my ears, it would be something that wouldn’t require more piercing.

Where did my distaste for the above mentioned started is a total mystery. After all, I like things that are related to creativity and expressing yourself (like fashion). Unfortunately these don’t sit well with me.

I agree that you have to see beyond what’s outside a person, but even if a guy is the best one in the world, I know it will become an issue with me in the long run.

Bob and I kept talking for a few minutes and then were seated in the bar area at one of those tall tables. The ambience, decor, and people was nice. Bob was more impressed as I was with the location.

“I’m glad you like this place,” said I. “I hate recommending places to people and then turn out to be disappointing.”

After each got a drink and continued with the conversation, Bob says to me, “I have a couple friend of mine who lives in the area.”

Oh, oh. It’s time for me to reveal my secret.

“I have a confession to make,” said I to Bob while looking at him with a revealing smile on my face. He looks at me as if I was about to say something that would change the course of humanity.

“That couple you’re talking about, I know who they are. They’ve been my good friends for years,” said I. “But they don’t know I was to meet with you tonight.”

Bob was really surprised at what I said, and even more when I told him the reason behind me swiping right when I saw his profile on the dating app.

He told me how he met my girlfriend’s husband at work, that he had been at their home for dinner on several occasions, and other things I already knew about my friends.

The night went along very well, a lot more than I expected, even as far as getting selfies of us together. We even ended up late in the evening eating Cuban food at a famous restaurant that he hadn’t been to before.

The night even got an additional twist when another colleague of Bob showed up at the restaurant with a woman, and they got seated right next to us.

Before Bob said hello to him, he mentioned to me that the guy moonlighted during the weekends as an impersonator of a 60’s Welsh singer. The guy is so into what he does, that his mobile ringtone is that of one of the artist’s songs.

Even more, the guy doesn’t silence his phone when it rings, so the song comes up full blast for the whole office to hear. Then all the guys start shouting, “shhh, turn it off!!”

When Bob finally greeted his colleague, the guy introduced the woman he was with as ‘his wife to be’. Bob then introduced me to them, also saying ‘my wife to be’.

I quickly turned and looked at Bob with total surprise (as in WTF??), and reacted without thinking by hitting him softly on his shoulder, with a look on my face of ‘get out of here’.

I don’t know why Bob made the comment, but if he wanted to impress both his colleague and me (maybe show off), he surely achieved that.

The third twist of the night was that Bob’s colleague said we should go see him perform the next night at some club I’ve never heard before. I thought to myself, “hell no!” Bob didn’t say anything about it, so I guess he felt the same way as me.

I think the night ended around 3 a.m. I was in his car and he drove me all the way back to the mall’s empty parking lot, and followed me home just before hitting the expressway for him to go home.

I can’t recall what was specifically said before getting into my car, but I’m sure I thanked and hugged him for the nice time we had.

The part about saying that ‘we should speak again’ was probably added to the mix. I mean, it’s a given that this would be said.

If you’re wondering how I would describe this first date with Bob, I could say that it was fun and different. Fun because I went to two places that I enjoyed being at. Different because Bob treated me well and he stood apart from other guys I’ve met.

And, yes, I think it would be worthwhile to meet with him again. And, no, it doesn’t translate that we will do the club thing.

If I need to be entertained by an artist, it would be with the real one. But in this case, the ringtone will work just fine.



“When are you coming back?” asked the woman.

“I don’t know. This is my first time in Cuba,” replied I.

“Do you like it?”, asked she.

“For being the first one, it has been a unique experience, very interesting,” replied I.

“Cuba is not what it used to be,” said she.

“That I knew,” said I.

“This is, well, a system different from that of the past,” continued she. “Those who didn’t live it can’t adapt to it. If it is someone like you, you don’t know what it used to be. Cuba was a golden cup, a jewel. Those who know it, like me, who were born and raised here, and are now facing old age, have seen the changes.

When the afternoon ends, everyone goes home, and there’s this huge sadness. The youth by instinct is always searching for something; they go out walking, dancing, make noise. But it’s not like before; at 10pm, the ‘it’ people would go out to enjoy the nightlife. The cabarets would open, the tycoons would appear; they came from abroad,” said she.

She looked away, probably reminiscing a long time past. She even placed her index finger to her mouth as a sign of silence. This I have heard before; it signifies that ‘I shouldn’t be saying much further about this topic, as I might get into trouble.’

All I could do is look at her, smile sadly, and make a gesture of ‘I understand.’ But deep inside of me it was heartbreaking.

Sitting in that apartment was like a place almost frozen in time. This must have been a gorgeous home in its glory days, but unfortunately is not that any more.

After my meeting with the woman, I took a walk around the area and sat down in a bench in a shaded area. I looked at the people walking by, the surroundings, buildings.

It was my fourth day on this island and still feeling surreal that I was there. It was one of being on a strange place, mixed with that you’ve been here before. Maybe the similarities to my home country made me feel that way. Maybe I’ve been here in another life.

And then I asked myself, what would have happened if my marriage had been lived in this place, since my ‘x’ and family are from here?

Honestly, I think it would have been more miserable. Being in someone else’s turf would have made my existence even worse. The rules of engagement, the expectations; everything would have been at a much higher level to attain, probably unachievable.

Some of my ‘x’ in-laws would have taken advantage that I was on my own, with no friends and family to really upon, to tear me apart, just like they did.

And my x’s infidelities would have been the talk of the town. I would have felt helpless, numb, and not knowing what to do, other than suck it up and hope that it would all go away without much damage.

All the issues and situations that lead to the divorce would have been the same, but in a different scale. It would have been a more painful and difficult experience.

Would have I stayed when I became single? Probably I would have debated it like I did before. Would have taken my time, traveled, did things the way I wanted, like discovering a new world within the only one that I knew.

I would have opted to not running away from my reality, but instead proving to myself that I had the capacity to bounce back and overcome anything that I faced. That it was time to live life the way it should be, on my own terms. Just like I did.

Just like sitting on this bench and making this trip. I was told ‘no’ so many times by my ‘x’ (and now ex-friend) that I couldn’t do certain things, to which it only fueled my desire to prove them wrong. They’re not here to see it, but they will know it about one day. It will be a message of ‘how did she do that?’ They will see a side of me they didn’t care to see.

Who knows, maybe I would have made the decision of staying at that bench. After you become single again, you have to regain your place within yourself and the earth, and I believe I have accomplished that.

Maybe one of the reasons for making this trip (without me realizing it until now), was that I needed this question to be answered.

Perhaps it was meant for me to have come to this island because there’s still some sides of me that I yet have to recover, or uncover, and this place will be the vehicle for that.

I will definitely be back. The universe is telling me that I have to.

Maybe I was indeed here in another existence. Maybe I need to make more history of my own in this lifetime. And it’s looking pretty good right from where I’m sitting now.



It felt like forever getting to our destination, but it was worth it. It was nice to see my friend’s mom since forever and she was equally happy to see us both.

It definitely had been a long day and as it progressed, I was the one feeling about to crash and he was still wired like the battery character ‘going on and on and on’. What else do you expect after all that sleep that he got?

The next day I rested as much as I could because we were to travel to 3 different locations. We first visited an old couple friend of them. I don’t mind doing it, but felt my friend’s comment of ‘I don’t know when will I see them alive again’ felt a total exaggeration. Don’t get me wrong, but his mom and couple looked pretty good to me, as in that they are going to live calmly and well for many more years.

The other comment that bothered me was that, according to my friend, the children of his mom and couple lied to them. In the mom’s case, when the sister was getting divorced and found herself alone, she pressured her mom to help her, so the mom abruptly sold her house back home and bought the current one living. Turns out later that the daughter wasn’t helping or supporting the mom in any way.

Eventually the mom realized who her daughter really was, a situation my friend had warned the mom for years. On one occasion when my friend was visiting, and because of the hostility between them, the mom suggested she spent the nights somewhere else to avoid a confrontation between siblings. The daughter said that she wouldn’t and when the mom told her he would be staying at the house no matter what, she packed her stuff and moved out.

From what I remembered of their relationship, the hatred was so bad that if the two were together in the same place, chances were that they would get so physical it would require calling the police and a visit to the hospital as to how bad it would turn out.

And according to him, the children of the couple also managed for them to sell the house back home and get an apartment at a senior living facility, don’t know why, but eventually distanced themselves from the parents, leaving the couple very unhappy and confused.

My friend would speak with an angry tone of this and many other situations, as if those who did the bad were ‘on the side of the devil’ and he was the good one.

His other famous expressions about anything that he felt he was right about or turned out just as he predicted were “what did I tell you?? That didn’t happen by chance!!” or “this I know about; that’s why I go to sleep early”.

In spite of all this, I still believed in my friend and in the goodness he had within him and for me, in spite that he was starting to come across as arrogant and hard to deal with, and was still swallowing all the toxicity of his past relationship.

But, I stayed away from analyzing anything too much as I’ve always done with him. After all, it was my pre-birthday weekend and wanted to make of every moment a positive one. And I was with him, my best friend, the one who has gifted me so much. What else could I ask for? What could possibly go wrong?



{February 9, 2015}   Looking Back 39 – What the…

Don’t know what’s happening lately. But it’s been more than 5 years since I became single again, which means I’ve worked very hard to get over my ‘past life’ and ‘X’, and bring the new me into the world.

Those people close to me have told me how much I have evolved for the better, that I look good, and present myself as being at peace with myself, and managing well my current work and personal situations.

Given all that, why am I now having dreams with people I know will never, ever, become anything else than what they are now, like ‘the beach guy’?

One night I had this dream where he and I were together out on the town somewhere. I have these quick images of standing in front of a tree he had decorated with these pretty lights for me.

I did comment how pretyy his action had been and I was happy. There was other surprises he pulled off which made me feel very flattered and special.

Then we were inside a nice car (probably his) and then, he proposed!

But, no ring! I was even happier and probably said ‘yes’ because we both kissed. But it was a simple one like in the movies, nothing that would be too overdone.

When I woke up in the morning, it was a heavy mix of emotions. Don’t get me wrong; I do want to get married again, but with him??

And as romantic as any woman can be, of course I would like the proposal to be as beautiful as can be, even more so than the first time.

I started overanalyzing the dream and realized I should be laughing about it, even feeling good about it.

I’m over this guy and shouldn’t give up my real dream of finding true love. Got to think in the positive, always.

Hmm, wonder what he has to say about it.

‘OMG had a dream last night with you that we got engaged. I woke up with a feeling of WTF. My hormones are probably out of whack,’ text I.

‘LOL,’ replied he. ‘Sorry, I don’t think I’ll ever marry again.’

‘I’m not interested in marrying you to start with. But it was interesting the way you did the whole thing.’

‘Ahh. When I do something I usually do it right, whether it be a good or bad thing.’

‘I do want to get married again someday. So I guess I was just visualizing how it would happen. Why your face was in my dream is a mystery. Probably it was as you’re saying; you’re the only guy I know who would do it in a way that would be memorable. But, no ring!’

‘No ring? That’s strange.’

‘Yes, but overall was a colorful dream and there was even a kiss.’

‘That’s good. You really are a good person and attractive.’

‘So humbling of you to think that way of me after all these years considering I can be complicated at times.’

‘You’re not complicated, just looking for love and companionship. That’s what everyone wants.’

‘I guess, although some people don’t want to have a commitment, just party and have fun.’

‘Correct.’

Well, how about that? I wasn’t expecting him to say that about me. It actually made me feel very good.

I will say it was sort of a dream of mine to clear out all that happened between us to get some peace of mind, and I think that has been manifested in a nice subconscious way.

But the proposal part? Spare me! I propose to leave the situation as it is, give it a kiss of approval and keep dreaming on.



It had been a few weeks since I last contacted Ivan. I didn’t make the effort of doing so, as I felt that he needed to deal with the situation on his own. Besides, if he ever wanted to reach out to me, he knew where to find me.

Instead, I turned my attention to Dina. We haven’t been seen each other for a while, so I suggested meeting one Sunday afternoon at an antique market.

She loved the idea and off we went. While looking at all the store windows and kiosks of vendors selling pretty much anything, she and I had the chance to catch up with our lives, whatever there was to it.

Ironically, we pretty much shared the same feelings and concerns for life ahead, and it was refreshing to me that at least someone was on the same page as me.

And, as we walked down the market, who else came out of a store? The one and only; Ivan. Another guy and a woman accompanied him.

To my surprise, he looked pretty good. And, best of all, I had no negative reaction towards the woman. It didn’t even cross my mind if she was the ex or what relationship she had with him.

“Hey, how are you?” said I happily while giving him a one-arm hug. I also introduced Dina to all of them.

His entourage was a family member (the guy) and a friend (the woman). The guy was in town visiting and she tagged along for the day.

After all the exchange of brief words, I said good-bye to everyone and left. I didn’t utter any words in the line of ‘give me a call sometime’ or else.

Once we were away at a good distance, Dina promptly asked, “who is that guy from all those you have told me about, if you have? He’s cute!”

I summarized it as brief as I could. “Basically, he started dating someone else, had a relationship with her, and she ended up cheating on him. Well, that’s what he told me.”

“Seriously? Wow, can’t believe it,” said she. She was shaking her head in disbelief. Then she dropped the bomb (sort of). “Have you ever wondered what your life had been if the two of you had ended up together?”

That question stopped me on my tracks, literally. I stopped walking and looked up analyzing what she said. “No, I really haven’t. Looking back I can only think that if he chose not to is because…I don’t know.

I would have liked to, but I’m not sure if it was the right time, period.”

“If he came back, would you give him a chance?”

“No!! After you get cheated on, you need to take some time off, and it’s never good to be involved with someone who’s on the rebound.”

“Well, maybe that’s what happened to you before. He saw it was not in you yet to be in a relationship.”

So I guess that’s it; that’s what happened. It was all so clear now.

It was a huge sense of relief, and this encounter was no accident. I needed to be there with Dina, facing this moment to finally put Ivan to rest.

And, just like that, I kept walking ahead, never looking back (not even to check if Ivan was behind me), looking forward to whatever might come next.



‘For a lack of a better word, you were hot!’ said he. (Could you please expand?) ‘I wasn’t the only one thinking this way. I would say that was pretty much the consensus of the guys living on my dorm floor as well.

I know they were envious of me dating you, especially my friend who encouraged me to contact you. Every time he has asked me about you, he would always say just that.’

Which dorm was this? I have no recollection of any of this. How many times was I actually there?

‘What I remember about you was that you had a beautiful face, fit body, great smile, and because you had a different cultural background than the majority of the people on campus, you were exotic and made you stand out.’

Hmm, being fit? That’s one thing I have to disagree. I do remember gaining some weight and taking it off was quite difficult, which made me insecure.

Also, I was into doing my make-up and having my hair styled. But my clothes at times weren’t the best for my body. I think I was more into the comfort part than being fashion forward. So if I was perceived as having a nice body, my efforts in looking good were indeed paying off.

In regards to standing out, I thought I was just average or blended with the rest of the girls in school. It’s true that my background made me different, but I never used it to get attention from others.

But with all my insecurities and else that I had before still impressed this guy, then there was something about me that indeed made me different.

Or, was it something else? Was it all my looks? Was there more between me and him?

I presented this question in my next email.



It’s 2007, about a month since my then spouse had left me, when Dina calls me.

“Do you want to go to the Halloween Bash at the museum?” she asked.

“I sure do! I’ve always wanted to go to that!”

If you are really serious about dressing up, this is the party to be and be seen. I finally got my wish of having the opportunity to attend this event.

The following weekend I headed straight to the costume store where the first bomb was dropped. My mind is set to get the sexiest outfit I could possibly find.

I came across a one-piece sailor suit and (awesome!) they have my size; X-Small. I put it on and come out to look at myself at the big mirror outside the dressing room.

A young girl in her 20’s looks at me and says, “Where did you get that?? It looks so cute on you!!”

The salesgirl agrees with her. “Yeah, I really like it on you!”

I thanked them both and looked at myself again. Wait a minute, wasn’t this the same costume my ‘x’ said made me look fat five years earlier? You know what, I actually look good in it!

Yes!! I have nailed the costume and it’s all mine.

I changed back into my clothes, got a pair of matching stockings, and headed for the cashier.

I walked past where the costume was hanging. There are only a couple of them left.



et cetera