Love At First Site 5 – For the fun of it

After this incident, I continued using the dating site, but learned not to get excited about anything that might occur in it.

I continued getting messages from guys in their 20’s, 40’s and 50’s. Don’t know why those in the 30’s weren’t happening.

So, again, either they were too young, or those within my age range looked like their shelf life had happened a long time ago.

Still, it didn’t hurt to open the messages and read what was written. I figured out that, if at least I could laugh about it, it could be worth my time.

Take for instance the profile photo of a 21 year old. It was a selfie of him standing sideways without a shirt and the phone covering part of his face. He also had a tattoo on the arm he used to take the shot.

So, you are showing all of your naked torso, but not your whole face? And what do you really want me to look at, the tattoo or your fitted body? Please…

His message read, ‘Wow, hello beautiful. Would love to meet you.’ For what, so you can show me the rest of you (including other art that you may have)? Besides, he lives way out of my area. Not even worth using my gas on that either.

I know I don’t have to reply, but let’s see what happens when I try to scare him away.

‘Thank you for your message, but what is it you are looking to get out of this when I’m old enough to be your mom?’

Lucky me (or not) he was online and didn’t took long to reply. ‘C’mon it could be fun. We could meet for a movie, drinks, or something.’

Yes, fun for you, not so much for me.

I’ll leave it at that. Not going to reply with a ‘no’ when not doing so equals ‘not interested’. I’ll delete the message later.

All right, what’s next? Is there a message from a 30-something?

Let’s check it out then.

Putting Yourself Online 31 – The hard truth

I made the call and about 4 rings later, got his voicemail, not with his voice, but those who are automated (‘You have reached the mailbox of…).

I’ve always hated those, so impersonal and robotic. Besides, he’s a guy and the voice is that of a woman. Why aren’t there other alternatives that might ‘personalize’ it somehow?

So, in my usual manner, I left Ivan the same message I always do. “Hi, Ivan, it’s me, Emma. Just calling to say hello and know how things are going with you. Hope all is well. Call me if you can.”

He called me back about 3 days later while I was at work. That’s what usually happened; he would either never return my call, or do so at a day and time it would be difficult for me to give him my undivided attention, forcing the call to conclude quickly.

I know he’s always busy and returning my call it’s done in-between the little free time he has. But the real reason he would do it this way is because he’s not much of a talker, especially with me. He knows I will tell him the truth about his existence and, when I do, I’m not nice.

But this time around, I was the one who needed to be listened to. It was almost the end of the year and this one had been particularly difficult.

On top of that, I was still without a guy, would have been my 20-year anniversary, as well as my late father’s birthday.

At work, things were complicated as well. My boss was giving me a hard time and the other assistant couldn’t take the heat from her either.

Every day that I would walk through the door, this person would have a long face and would immediately start bitching about the boss.

Everything just piled up and I was reaching my breaking point. I didn’t know what to do. Beyond feeling that life was unfair to me, I felt time kept going by and I was stuck in the same place as always. That moment of great change hasn’t happened and was wondering if it would ever do.

“Hey, Ivan, how are you?”

“Fine, sweetie; how are you? Sorry I’m calling you at work.”

“It’s all right; I can talk for a few.” Lucky me, my boss wasn’t in the office. “Actually, no, I’m not that well.”

“What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“Question is, what has not happened to me.”

And just like that, this need to cry out all my emotions suddenly overwhelmed me.

No turning back now. Have to let it all out.

Putting Yourself Online 8 – Call waiting

Maybe it has to do with his pictures. In one he’s sitting on a staircase in a house, wearing a shirt, jeans and flip-flops. I think it is the shoes; they give me the feeling of someone bohemian, relaxed, laid back, a beach lover.

In the other photo he’s outdoors, like in the mountains, standing below a tree wearing a cowboy hat, long-sleeve shirt and jeans. He looked sexy to me probably because I’ve never known a cowboy or rancher. But, is he?

Oh. My, he’s European (yes! even better!). That hasn’t happened to me either, and (no!) he’s younger than me, by about seven years. (Will this cougar phase ever end??)

Funny thing is that he doesn’t look that much younger than me. He did look, though, that for a first online date, he would be worth a try.

So during the day we kept exchanging short emails through which we asked questions to each other, to get some info from one another. He told me his name was Ivan and was born and raised in one of the former Soviet block countries.

Then, on one of the last ones, he asked me the most dreaded question, ‘Can I have your phone number?’ Once again, nervous of how to address this, I told him to give me his, and prayed he wouldn’t pull a ‘Jesse’ reaction (‘Where I come from, that means you will never call me.’)(Please refer to ‘Another Cougar Moment’.)

Lucky me, he gave it to me, no comments made. My last email to him read, ‘Great! I will be calling you soon.’

And what does that entail from my end? For starters, I thought to wait to call until the evening so not to look desperate and to ensure he would be available to talk.

Now, got to decide if I make the call and he doesn’t answer, will I leave a message? I’ll probably freak out and hang up and try again later. I mean, the number will appear as a missed call, but it doesn’t guarantee that the receiver will answer it if there’s no voicemail.

No, I should be brave and leave a message. I mean, haven’t I been brave enough for giving online dating a try?

All right, in a few hours I will make the call that (maybe) will change my life.

Failure To Connect 3 – Looking good

Dina and I finished our ‘quick stop’ or ‘brb’ and are walking towards the door to leave when these two guys crossed my path.

“Aren’t you Emma?” said one of then. I responded with a puzzled ‘yes.’ “Don’t know you if you remember us, but we attended high school together.”

OMG! What a surprise this was. I couldn’t believe that after so many years after graduating, these two still remembered me.

“How did you guys recognize me?” asked I.

“You still look the same,” said one of them.

Well! That was the best complement I’ve had in a very long time. If after all I’ve gone through these two still think I look great (ah, I guess that ‘s what they meant), damn, I must be doing something right. Man, my ego went sky high.

I was still standing in the hallway in total awe when them guys asked if I could have a drink with them before I left.

Dina took a seat at the bar and everyone else stood. Lucky me (and her), a guy sitting next to Dina started talking to her. Even better, he looked cute and someone that maybe Dina could be interested in getting to know.

I was even luckier that from where I was standing, I had a direct view of the first guy who had been staring at me the entire night. He was still alone and now that I was talking to these two guys, he wasn’t moving from his chair.

I noticed that his look was one that, yes, he was interested in approaching me, but was waiting for the right moment to make it happen.

This is great! He’s probably thinking that I am in demand.

Whoa! Is everybody going to be lucky tonight?

The Accidental Cougar 14 – Nothing happened

A few weeks later I received a surprising text message from Jeffrey: ‘How are you? What are you doing?’

Whoa! Where did this come from? Is he back? If he is, why is he looking for me? I took my chance in calling him and, lucky me, he answered the call.

“So, you’re back?” asked I in a tone of voice pretending nothing had happened.

“Yeah, I’m on the road taking care of business. Did you move?”

“Actually, I did while you were away. Are you close by? Can you make it over here?”

Lucky me, again, he did make it to my new place. When I greeted him at the entrance of my building, he was still looking as good as I remembered. He seemed to have rested somewhat. He also had a face of not entirely being happy to be back in town, a.k.a., back to reality.

He sat in my sofa and I on a chair. I did not bring the question of the reason for his break-up text and now him contacting me again.

“So…how was it? I asked.

“Great! Saw my friends, spent time with my family. I was saddened when I had to leave.”

“And…were you nice or naughty over there?”

Jeff opened his eyes wide, looked down and grinned a smile of ‘gotcha.’” “Yes, I was naughty with two ex-girlfriends of mine.

‘Lucky them,’ I thought. Why can’t I? Yes, I will admit, I felt sort of jealous. What did you expect?

I rolled my eyes up and smiled as well with a look of not being surprised at all. I mean, of course it was bound to happen. He is on an unhappy relationship, he manages to get away from it for a few weeks, and finds former flings willing to provide what he’s lacking. It’s obvious you’re going to for it! Hmm, doesn’t this sound familiar?

“So, what are you going to do now?” asked I. He gave the usual ‘don’t want to talk about it’ look. “It’s not only about your relationship. I meant your life in general.”

“I don’t know. Been thinking of moving back home permanently on my own.”

“Oh? What will you do with your business?”

“Not sure about that either. The only thing I truly know is that if I became single again, I’ll stay like that for a good long time.”

Jeffrey and I kept chatting for a while. And when he left, we said good-bye to each other as we always did before: no agreements or discussion wherever we would talk or see each other again or anything.

We would always say ‘see you later’ or ‘nice seeing you’ as if there would be a next time.

But that no one knew. We have taken each encounter as it came, without thinking about in the present or for the future.

I closed the door and kept on with my life, like nothing had ever happened.

The Accidental Cougar 3 – Doing the catwalk

The three of us arrived at the lounge around 9pm and the place was pretty much filled-up already. It was the first time I was at this place and got a good impression of such.

It had an indoor area with a bar, sitting room and dance space, plus a balcony area with an additional bar. I suggested walking around the location to familiarize ourselves with it (and check out the guys, of course).

I lead the way and walked first; when I entered the room I glanced around at the people standing at the bar or balcony rail when (whoa!), the sight of a particular guy basically stopped me in my tracks.

I looked at him and my jaw dropped. He was tall (very tall, way over six feet), with a fabulous ‘fohawk’ hairstyle, an awesome body and facial features of a runway model.

I don’t know how long I stood there staring (probably just a few seconds, but it felt as if I had gotten frozen in time) when I snapped out of it.

“How about if I buy a round of drinks?” asked I in an effort to staying around and keeping close watch on this guy. I didn’t have a plan in mind to approach him (I wasn’t thinking anything, seriously. This was the first time for me that I went out). I just wanted to (I don’t know) enjoy some ‘eye candy.’

Everyone got a drink and I stood in an angle that enabled me to speak to everyone, but still keep an eye on the guy.

During my conversation, I tried to look at him from time to time. Lucky me he was standing sideways, which helped me being not so obvious with my behavior.

Some time later the guy started walking away with another guy and passed me on my right side. I looked at him and gave him a big smile. Part of me expression was my amazement of how tall he was (over a foot taller than me). But, damn, this guy is so adorable.

I wanted to follow this guy so bad, but I was with this two girls.

So, what do you do now? I kept talking while analyzing the situation internally until a thought came to my mind.

“Hey, why don’t we take a walk and check out the rest of the place?”