The New M.E. Generation











“Care to dispute? I’m listening,” said I. “From experience, whether you call them or not, behave well (or not) on the first date and else, afterwards most of them become MIA.

My girlfriend says that if you don’t impress them right away, they’re not interested in you for anything, not even a friendship. I think she’s right.”

“So you’re saying that men are not interest in you after that first date because you’re unable to impress them?” asked he.

“I don’t know what their problem is, but that’s pretty much what’s happening. Even if I make the effort of calling them, they don’t return my calls or want to go out again.”

“I just don’t get it. If you have been able to recover your personality, you shouldn’t be having this problem. It doesn’t make sense.

I wonder what aura you emit that make men want to take off. Maybe you’re trying too hard or feeling insecure.”

“I think it’s a combination of things. After been married for so long you have to figure out how to date again like when we did back in school.

More than trying too hard, I think it’s a trial and error. I have to keep on trying until I get it right.

Insecure? Sometimes because you don’t get why guys snob you. But I’ve learned not to take it personal or put the blame on me.”

“You were always kind of quiet in school, but smiling and in a good mood. If you’re not happy now with yourself and/or your life, it will hold you back to getting what you want. You need to get rid of the crap that won’t allow you to fly.

You’re still young and attractive, and should be living life to the fullest. And, you don’t need a guy to be in that good place. You do need to get your act together or you will never be happy in a relationship.”

“I know, I know. I’m working on it.”

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“I’ve been single for a while now and I envisioned my life being something totally different from what it is now,” wrote I. “ I was confident I would have a boyfriend for sure and probably be remarried, sharing a home together.

I’m also not happy with my job. I work a lot which doesn’t leave me with that much time to have a social life; that in turn makes meeting a guy even less of a chance.

In general, I’m frustrated. I am making an effort in turning my life around but it has not worked the way I wanted.

So I feel alone, stuck, upset and much more about everything in general. What can I say? My life sucks. Hopefully this will answer your question.”

“I’m surprised you are telling me all this,” said he.” “I remember you being very happy, funny and cheerful.

I respect that you may not want to get into details about what happened to you before, as those stories I’m sure are plentiful and not always pleasant to go back to.

I only hope that you eventually get what you’re seeking.”

He remembers me for all that? Really? What I recall is that I wasn’t that much present in his life, but, hey, if I made such a good impression, that’s good.

I’m still wondering how I was able to be that during those years. My parents had divorced and I was a teenager in high school. It was a very difficult and confusing time dealing with all that. I didn’t know how I was going to pull through, but I knew I would, somehow. Sounds sort of  my life now.

And probably I gravitated towards him seeking what I was missing in my life that time.

Oh, gawd, why am I still on ‘repeat’ mode? Why can’t I just go ‘forward’ and never ‘rewind’ again?

 



I took the courage to finally make the call and sort of hoped it would go straight to his voicemail, but it didn’t. He answered almost right away.

“Hey! How are you?” said he very enthusiastically. I wasn’t expecting such a warm welcome.

It was so unexpected I had no idea how to respond. I took the easy way of instead talking about our lives since we last spoke up to the present.

I let him do most of the talking to gain some time while I organized my thoughts.

When all was pretty much said, I knew it was ‘now or never’ to say what I really needed to.

“Listen…the real reason why I called you was because things did not end the right way and that’s not really how I like things to happen.

I know it has been some years, but I’m sorry for whatever I did to you that probably hurt you. It all happened during a difficult time for me and I just didn’t know how to handle the situation.”

I had just finished my sentence when he quickly responded, “if it was a bad time for you, it was equally for me.”

Wow, now that I didn’t expect! So that’s what’s it came down to. It wasn’t our time. Question is, could it be now?

I felt a huge sense of relief and more of a reason to make an effort to renew our friendship.

The conversation ended well and he said he would call soon to meet up one day. Sounds good to me. Hope he does.



About 20 minutes later the storm was over. The sky remained gray, but the wind went away and the water calmed down. The heat came back, though, making the atmosphere feel as if almost no storm had occurred.

We all walked to the boat, which, thankfully, did not suffer any damage. The afternoon was getting late and the guys wanted to get back before sundown (or any other unexpected weather change). So I grabbed my belongings, thanked them both and told Christian we would be ‘in touch’ as a way to keeping the communication open, and gracefully end the day (in case nothing else happened afterwards).

Yes, it has been a strange day and the first of its kind for me. I didn’t know what to make of it. When night arrived I called Dina to share with her the day’s events.

“So, did you two agree on anything?” asked Dina.

“No, it’s just that with the storm, the moment was not actually right to say something. I only told him that I would ‘stay in touch.’”

“Which means…?”

“I don’t know, that I will call him soon, like in a few days or no later than a week, so that he sees that I still have an interest in him?”

“My advice to you, just do what you feel is right to do. If after the few days or week you lost the interest, just don’t call him. At least you got to see him.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if to call again or not. It was a weird day the way it developed. I can’t really define anything of it.”

“Then maybe you should wait for him to call you. That way you will really know that he still has some interest. I think you are always the one making the effort. How about if, for once, let the other person be the one to follow-up?”

“I know, you’re right. You’re always right.”

“I know,” said Dina in a comical tone. I had to laugh too. Yep, no matter what approach I take with the guys, it always ends in nothing. And maybe it has to do with me always going after the guys.

What would happen if I ignored them for a while? Would it work?



et cetera