The New M.E. Generation











{September 18, 2017}   Looking Back 63 – Turning point

It was inevitable to revert back to the past. I mentioned again (don’t know what number this was) that I didn’t understand his behavior towards me of being super nice at the beach, to then ignore me at school.

Him: “I’ve always done things my way outside the box, you know that. Always low key, especially now with work. That’s why I hate social media. No need for people to know what I do” (there wasn’t anything low key about all those photos you showed me before of the many toys you have, including several cars, an RV, boat, etc.).

Me: “Yes, at school you were in your zone (more like having a wall in front of you), always studying (that you used to have people afar). You only took part in minimal activities. When it had to do with an effort that involved everyone in your class, like a sketch for the Pep Rally, you cooperated. If not, no.”

I was wondering if he at least would say ‘sorry for that’, but no. Still the same on that.

We returned home and continued the conversation. We were sitting on my sofa, when he suddenly got down on both knees, putting his arms on top of my legs, looking at me with his face very close to mine. I was as calm as I’ve ever been.

Him: “I don’t know what to do about you” (if you like what you see, you should put a ring on it).

Me: “Well, since you said the distance is an issue and don’t want me putting too many miles on my leased car, I guess nothing will happen. You keep saying all these nice things about me, but don’t do anything afterwards.”

Him: “Distance is a problem” (wrong answer buzzer sound effect). I gave him a look of ‘you know that’s not it.’

“I have a problem with being committed” (buzzer again. You were married for over 15 years; what do you call that?).

“Truth is, I need someone that wants to be with me for what I am and can put up with my schedule, not be attracted by this supposed lifestyle that I have. They hear about the fancy things my clients have and think I will tag them along when working, but that’s not how it goes” (‘ding ding ding’ sound effect).

Me: “You need a woman that can hold her own, is independent, and comfortable with her life and space when she’s not with you” (which is pretty much me, don’t you think?).

We kept looking at each other like those movie scenes where you wonder when the decisive moment will occur.

Me: “I’m at peace, Frank. That’s all you need to know. I’m fine with my life, past, you and me, the blonde you’re seeing. Like I said before, if that’s what you want, go for it.”

Him (while now looking away): “Her?? I sort of feel guilty being here. She’s a nice girl… (and other complements).”

Me: “But you’re not that into her. (He gave me a look that I was right on this one. Of course I am. If he was serious about her, he wouldn’t be texting or sending selfies every time we communicate, saying how beautiful I am, even less trying to see me every time he’s in town.)

If you and I tried being together, we would have to start from scratch. Put the past behind and deal with the now. Correction, I need to do that. That would be the only way if there was ever a chance.

You have to figure out what you want for yourself. Including her. And I’m not upset with you. Not any more. If you can’t be with me, or don’t want to, that’s up to you.”

Sometime later, I walked him to my apartment complex gate. The limo was parked outside waiting for him. I hugged and kissed him good-bye, much like that day at the school’s assembly when I wondered if I would ever see him again.

So what do I think the ending to all this will be? My forecast is this: he’ll stay with the blonde. When he realizes that it’s me that he really wants, he will come back, only to find me with someone else.

Because that’s how the universe works. It gives you a number of chances to make things right. But if you base your decisions on anything except love, then it will take away what you took for granted.

He will get his boat, that’s for sure. And will sail away wondering what his life would have been if he hadn’t let me go.

It’s “certain as the sun, rising in the east. Song as old as rhyme. Tale as old as time. Ever just as sure, as the sun will rise.” – Beauty and the Beast

 

 

 

 

 



{August 1, 2016}   The Ex-Friend 46 – Fly away

After the unfortunate incident that my now ex-friend decided to strike upon me, I realized it was best to detox from him just like any other negative people or situations that have come across my life.

My bestie and I are firm believers in that ‘what goes around, comes around’ and that, either the Lord makes things happen for people to come face to face to finalize pending matters, or we make it happen ourselves, with the one above providing the right place and time for it.

“I have this recurring dream where I am sitting at this garden outside a church, praying,” said she. “And all of a sudden, this guy pulls in in his car in a hurry, gets out of it and comes running towards me shouting, ‘¡Me engañaron! Ayúdame’ (I’ve been betrayed to! Help me).

His demeanor is one that he’s all broken down, defeated, that he was wrong all along and now he’s looking for me to forgive him. I calmy look at him and say something like, ‘I can’t save you; you’re the only one that can save itself.’

It may sound like a scene from a movie, but I know it will happen of him looking for me when the bitch kicks his ass to the curb. I may miss and still think about him, but I will never take him back. God made him go away because it’s the best thing for me,” said she.

“I don’t miss him at all. I sometimes miss that guy that I used to know, but he’s gone in all sense of the word. And going to the past makes you go backwards. As much as the good outweighs the bad, the magnitude of the bad is so big that’s what stays with you, unfortunately. I hope he never looks for me again. I won’t forgive him; he doesn’t deserve it, even less when he’s got this forgiveness thing all twisted up,” said I.

“I can understand why you feel this way. The way he lied to you, used you, and stabbed you, while he was seeing me at the same time, without you knowing it, that’s all wrong. I won’t take away that he equally played with me, but he definitely took more advantage of you. He knows who I am and what to expect from me; that’s why it probably didn’t go farther than it did,” said she.

“What we need to do is what you said before, for you and I to come together somehow and get back at that bitch and him. Having him specifically in the mix, I think that’s something it should happen as in your dream, between the two of you, when the time comes.

Listen, this year I will celebrate a milestone on my birthday. 10 years back, when I was still married, I told my ex I wanted to leave town to do something different. Also around that time, our city had survived a hurricane and the area was really depressing. When I flew there and saw everything green and breezy, I fell in love with the place and made me wish to go back someday. It would be very special to me if I could be there again,” said I.

“That’s a great idea. Would love to have you over and celebrate such an important date,” replied she.

“And, I was thinking, if these two see us together on social media, they’re really going to hit the fan,” continued I.

“That’s right! Because they don’t know that you and I are talking,” said she.

“And friends! I know we’re a little bit ahead, but I would post something closer to my arrival like, ‘a dear friend from the past is coming over to visit’. That way when the bitch reads it, she may think that it has to do with him.”

“Brilliant! It will be something like, ‘last year I went their way, this one they come to me’. When you find out about flights, etc., let me know and will schedule everything,” said she.

“Great; sound like a plan,” concluded I.

 



et cetera