The New M.E. Generation











As soon as I hanged up my  mobile, I called my new ‘bestie’ to tell her about what unfolded on the phone call.

“Hey, I just spoke with this guy’s mom and she said that the bitch and him are set to be married in October!” said I in a tone like the world was about to end. Surprisingly she took it very well.

“Listen, when I first saw him again after all these years, he greeted me with lots of hugs and kisses, which took me totally by surprise. He was super happy, or so he pretended to be. My idea was to get together and talk everything out regarding our past relationship and move on.

I wasn’t expecting things to evolve, but they did. In other words, he eventually told me he wanted to get back with me and marry as well,” said she.

“He did?? What?? And he was telling me that ‘we could make a good team’? I know that sounds totally moronic when I now think about it, but he also wanted to be with me in a serious relationship. Well, that’s what I understood. He even said he was sure it would work.

It even got to a point where I was wondering if nothing was happening with other guys because it was meant for me to be with him, that I wasn’t seeing the signs that life was giving me,” continued I.

“I remember when seeing the pictures of the two of you during your vacation trip. I texted him that ‘so glad you and Emma are together’, meaning as in a couple, not of reuniting with someone you haven’t seen in years, which is what he thought I conveyed.

If the two of you have occurred, I would have been fine with it. And regards that so-called marriage, if this guy was that serious about it, he would have done so already a long time ago.

I think this is just something he’s saying will do to try to make his relationship ‘look legal’ in front of the church, his mom, and everyone else who was involved with him after his breakup. And another thing, how coincidental it is that his work contract ends at the end of October? How does he pretends to support himself without employment and she working cleaning offices earning minimum wage at a job that he found for her?

This sounds to me like some crappy show that now he’s the biggest religious person, that all has been forgiven, that all is possible if you believe in the Lord, blah blah blah. Please, who is he trying to fool? Himself? His mom? Certainly not me.

I’m not going to lose sleep over it. And trust me that it won’t happen. I know him,” concluded she.

It’s true; I thought I knew this guy well, but now I feel I never knew him at all. He looks like someone who was living a double life and was a master at it.

Question is, what was he trying to gain? Did he thought his plot wouldn’t get discovered? Why did he play a game with two people that cared and loved him so much?

Seems to me that he was getting back at us for whatever his reasons might have been. And he created all this fake scenery so we believed in anything he presented to us to lure us in. What he doesn’t know is that his net of lies is getting untangled and might turn up against him one day.

This guy may have worked all his youth at his father’s pharmacy and learned how to run a business, but he definitely needs a taste of his own medicine and get a lesson that people are not prescriptions that you self-medicate with depending on what you want to solve.

That being said, what happens next? For starters, stop calling the mom; I’m not interested in listening any more nauseating stories.

“One time I called her and she dished the whole conversation to that bitch,” my bestie said. Wow, major backstabbing. Make that 2 reasons; my phone call will give the mom ‘lots to talk about to her son’. How sad that this woman (who I once respected) is been brainwashed and controlled by her own son.

Other than the no calls, all left to do is sit down and wait for the official toxic wedding to begin, if that. “Is there is anyone here who objects to this, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

Hey bestie, want to crash a wedding? Hahaha.

 



Just when I was getting used to the idea that this guy was away and that our friendship has experienced a change that would be put to the test over the next year, I get a totally unexpected call from him in the middle of the week.

People that know me know you never call me at work unless you have an immediate need to speak to me, or it means something really bad has happened.

And with this guy it was the same. So his call meant the second and I felt a bad vibe about it. First thing that came to mind was his mom.

“‘¿Todo bien?'” (Is all fine?) is what he would say and now I’m copying him. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just say things my own way? It’s ridiculous how much he’s engrained in me. “Something happened to your mom?” continued I.

“No my mom’s fine. I’m the one who’s not. Listen, I’m getting out of here. I already submitted my letter of resignation and will fly out in a couple of days,” said he.

“What? Why? Didn’t you just get there about a month ago? What happened? Are you sure about what you’re doing?”

“It’s a long story, but all I will say is that this is a toxic environment. It’s like in one of those mystery movies where you land at what you thought would be an oasis, and then you discover all the hidden horrors nobody told you about.

I made my decision quickly and there’s no turning back. I need to get out of here and the sooner the better. Got my ticket, I’m all packed up, and that’s it. Don’t want to be here no more,” continued he.

I was listening to him and couldn’t grasp what was happening. It’s like I was talking to a complete stranger. This was definitely not the guy I used to know. It could have been the most difficult situation for him, but he would always manage to turn things around and make them work.

That’s what I used to admire about him; he would overcome anything and come out victorious, even stronger as a person.

Now all I’m hearing is how bad everything is, how angry and bitter he has become, how life sucks and is being ungrateful to him, that the world and people have turned against him.

There was never a battle he wouldn’t win and no aftershock that would affect him for long. He would brush off the results of the experience and move on, and be more than ready for whatever else came his way.

He swallowed his pride on anything and kept his emotions under control. He would share them with you, but without putting too much emphasis into them.

Now he sounded like a spoiled child who ‘I want this and I want it now!’ type of attitude. A brat who closes his eyes and cover the ears when you try making any sense into him; someone who raises his voice and stumps the feet at the floor when things don’t go their way or others won’t comply with him.

I don’t know what ‘bit’ him on that location he’s at, but the high temperature on his voice was at boiling point. He may be shouting ‘toxic environment’, but there’s a lot more underlying drama in this low-budget movie that this spectator (me) has yet to see.

Worst part is, the first installment is not over yet and the sequel is about to start. What rating should this get? I’ll give it a ‘B’ as in ‘Bad’, really bad.



Fast forward another few years and it was Christmas. My friend Madeline was spending the holidays and New Year’s with her family up my state and invited me to join them for the week.

My then friend was also spending time with family, but not a planned one. His mother back home was having issues with her health. So he took whatever vacation, personal, sick days he had left to be with her. From what he was telling me, his sister was taking turns being with her as well.

I had known long enough that he and his sister did not get along. He always resented that his mom had more affection towards his sister than to him.

The tension between these two was so bad they couldn’t be at the same place at the same time.

How much? One time I was at their house and on top of a table there were about 10 or so photos of her and only 1 of him in the corner of the furniture, almost covered up by all the other frames.

I remember he saying to me, “all these photos are of my sister and this small one is mine.” It was a simple shot of him on college graduation day, standing at school entrance, smiling, and wearing a suit.

I don’t think his mom attended the ceremony (his sister did not obviously), because the mom detested her ex-spouse and couldn’t be where he was at the same time as her. She couldn’t put aside her way past personal matters and concentrate on her son’s achievement.

Even in important moments like this, if it had to do with him, she wouldn’t go the extra mile. But for her daughter, she would endure hell and back if needed to. The way each one was treated was incomprehensible and nauseating to me.

I felt sorry for him. He had achieved so much and what did his sister do to deserve so much attention? According to him, she hated her life back home, and after her first year of college decided to get married and go live abroad.

So she never even completed college and at one time took the tuition money to buy herself an expensive watch, which wasn’t questioned either by the father who was helping her with school.

It was a feeling that I shared that no matter how good one could do, it still wasn’t enough.

But her sister? It seemed that marrying a guy to run away from it all (and who had a moronic face on top of that), having a home and kids (and not working even if her life depended on it) was the way to go.

Having the situation that the mom’s health was at risk created another challenge, because they had to work together to get her the medical treatment that she needed.

The question was if they would be able to put their differences aside. Sadly, I learned the hard way that he was worse than me when it came to forgiveness, letting go and moving on with life, even more of saying, “I will never be or do something like that”.

Let’s say that besides not practicing what you preached, it’s about repeating other people’s way of existence and becoming a creature that not even your loved ones (repeat, loved ones) want to be with.



“I think your friend will be fine,” said I. “It’s good that you care about him. What he needs, and pretty much everyone who serves, is our support. My opinion is that they give way too much for this country, but we don’t pay them back the way they deserve.

And in regards to them coming back ‘changed’, I’ve pretty much met every type of guy on the book. They all have some sort of lingering issue, so dealing with one from the military shouldn’t be that much different. I’ll give it a try if the situation presents itself.”

“It takes a lot of courage to do that,” said he.

“You can’t give up on the hope of finding a partner. What I’ve learned throughout the years is that you’ve got to look at people for what they really are from the beginning. We tend to judge them based on our reality and when they don’t turn out as expected, we reject them.

That’s the problem with us women. We’re expecting to hit it right from the start and then we’re breaking our heads questioning ourselves where did we go wrong, when we should have looked at what was standing in front of us and accept their way of being for what it is.

You can pretty much figure out someone quickly and determine of they’re worth any of your time and energy. If your gut feeling tells you no, it means it’s time to move on.

The secret is to know when to apply your intelligence and emotions accordingly in your favor.”

“So what do you think about me so far tonight?”

“I think you’ve been very transparent.”

“So nothing to be concerned about just yet?”

“No, nothing that raises a red flag. You’re also still young. You haven’t gone through some experience like I have that make you change your outlook on life. I’ve pretty much seen everything already. Nothing surprises me any more.”

“Well, I hope I don’t disappoint you,” said he.

I kept looking at him and everything seemed to start falling into place. At least he was trying to be polite.

“Hey, you want to eat something? How about a pizza? They have some on the menu.”

“Sounds good to me. Love pizza.”

He seemed glad to see that I had tastes like those of a guy. I may be older than him and may have changed on some things, but I’ll never give up on a good plate of food. Top that with remembering my college days, even a better taste to go for.



Life for me went back to normal and I followed what I decided upon, which was to close communication with Edward. I would sometimes write a comment on his posts, but no emails or phone calls were made.

I would say at least a year or more went by when I got to see something about him again. It was early in the year and, there they were, the two of them, kissing, at their wedding.

Yep, he married the party chick. It totally took me by surprise, as I don’t recall reading anything about the engagement. People were congratulating him for the good news, so it seems he kept it quiet.

The ceremony was held outdoors in a garden area. In my opinion, both were dressed appropriately, not too much or too under whelmed, but no photos of reception. It seems it was a small and intimate ceremony with only the closest people attending.

I kept looking at the picture when I got an email from the girl who introduced us.

“What do think of Edward getting married?” asked she.

“Hip hip hooray?” replied I.

I really didn’t have an answer for her or me. I was happy for him, sort of, as the questioning about the past resurfaced. It wasn’t really about ‘losing a possible catch’, I was disappointed that other people (guys especially) were moving on, getting married, etc., and I was still single.

Why is it that others are lucky and I haven’t experienced a love relationship with someone else?

Fast forward about another year or so later, and I got to see Edward and entourage with other surprising news, they were expecting a baby.

I again thought to myself, “that could have been me”, but my emotions were really linked to wanting what other people had and wondering if it would ever happen with me.

Some months later a baby boy was born and it was quite cute. It definitely looked like him; if I would have been the mom, I saw how it would have looked like.

I was again sort of happy for him, but not personally that now there were 4 kids altogether. I’ve always wanted to experience motherhood, but one child would be just fine. Raising children that are not mine, I don’t know how I would handle it.

The last, last thing I read about him was that he moved to the west coast to a location that looked very country. Now that’s definitely something that’s not for me. Don’t get me wrong; the place is beautiful, but dealing with cold weather more than half of the year, thank you, but no.

So, what am I feeling now? Relieved. It was now clear to me why this relationship never occurred: I wouldn’t have liked to move, or go through such a huge change, because it would have made me unhappy.

I know you’re supposed to sacrifice for your loved ones, but I did that once, living life for others, but if they don’t make sacrifices for you, an unbalance is created and the relationship suffers.

What if I met someone and I had to relocate again to make it work? Would I let the opportunity pass me by?

Let’s say I will worry about that when it happens (if that) and when I find the right guy (which I will), I know this time around my story will be a totally different.



A couple of weeks passed by after the ‘daughter’ incident and everything seemed to go back to normal, that is, when I stayed away from writing anything on his profile.

I was keeping it low as much as I could and was just putting posts which content was pretty plain and harmless. They pretty much reflected the sentiment of what other people would say.

I could see that there were other females posting, so I thought this all unintended attention would eventually go away. But that’s not what was happening.

I learned through an email of him that the wife and daughter were still wondering who I was. I couldn’t understand why me of all the other women.

But him saying that I was an old girlfriend, combined with my apparent good looks, I was standing out way too much.

To be honest here, I didn’t find myself being above the other women I saw on his profile.

I did make positive comments on his daughter’s photos. She has been blossoming into a beautiful lady and I was happy for him.

He had always been concerned about giving her a stable home environment and the love she really deserved, two situations he felt he didn’t have when growing up.

I know pictures may speak more than a thousand words, but can be easily deceiving, but my feeling was that his daughter was indeed growing up to be what he had worked so hard for.

But my other feeling was that his attention was more devoted to the daughter than the significant other. Mix that with my presence online and his past stories that things between them are not that well, and you have a conflict that all points to him.

It blew out of proportion in such a way that one day I got an email that I knew would inevitably happen.

‘Hey, I am going to unfriend you. My wife has been questioning much about you. Please don’t take it personal. I am still your friend and I hope we continue to be. I’m not cutting ties here completely, just for a while until things calm down. I know you will understand.’

When I read it, I was upset that I was going through this again, but now thinking that I was fed up of being looked at as if I was a bad person who is complicating other people’s lives.

I have arrived to such a point in my life personally and with guys that I really have no patience for situations like this, even when I know what the truth here is.

I mean, I still appreciate and feel for him, but my emotions towards him completely come to a halt. I have been dragging on this situation with him for far too long and it’s time to close this chapter and move on, just like he has done.

No tears, no regrets, no questioning of decisions; just keeping him as part of my past and leaving it there.



This is what basically has been happening. Every so often I write him an email when I get reminded of him because I hear his first name.

The subject line always reads like, ‘Can I get you off my mind?’ or ‘You became present again’.

The content of the mail describes the incident of how I remembered him, that all I want is to really forget him, and don’t understand why the universe is playing games with me on this.

He sometimes replies that he’s sort of a force that refuses to go away from my life and it‘s interesting how his presence is remembered.

He always mentions that he’s my friend and he hopes our friendship continues, and that life will gift me with a worthy relationship.

Other times he doesn’t reply at all. Maybe it’s an overkill that I write about the same thing every time. Most probably is that he’s telling me nicely that we need to move on.

If you look at the replies closely, he never talks about us. It’s about me thinking about him, and he finding an explanation of why they occur.

He replies because he has to, especially to back-up his friendship argument. But it’s clear I’ve been stretching this situation for far too long.

The same goes for his social media profile. I was devastated when he closed it. I thought it all had to do with me.

It was months later when he reactivated it. I felt as if I had reconnected with him. But then, instead of me ‘staying away’, I continued writing posts in his profile.

I recently got a request from his daughter. I got nervous because I felt exposed as if the world knew who I was.

I told him about it, and his wife and daughter were questioning him who I was. He told them that I was and old college girlfriend.

Regardless of what the truth is or not, I created a huge problem for him and it’s not going away unless a change is made.

So what did I do? Of course I declined the request and stood back for a while. But as soon as I go online and read his posts, I get the impulse of writing something.

Sadly, all that I’m doing is looking for some acknowledgement from him that he still thinks about me.

I’m surprised he hasn’t cut me off all together. Whatever the reason for him doing that, both the universe and him are sending out this message from afar of what I should do.

And if I’m always reaching out to the outer limits for guidance and advice, why am I ignoring the huge, visible crater that’s in front of me?



Don’t you just hate going into your social profile and always see the same people posting the same photos, in the same poses, especially those of couples?

People, we get it, you’re happy! It’s also annoying. Enough of it!

And speaking of those shots that just make you want to ‘delete’ all those who post them, I came across some more photos of the ‘beach guy’ that were tagged by his ex some time in October of last year.

Their children also appeared and they were posing in family-style photos, looking as if the two of them were still together or as if nothing has happened between them.

This made me upset because this guy had expressed to me way back that he wasn’t happy in how she was behaving with him during this separation, especially for the fact that she quickly moved on and very much involved with a new man.

Even more, the caption of the photo read, ‘Redefining family’.

I felt that both of them are total a-holes. Starting with him, if you’re mad at her, why are you still ‘Friends’ with her and, on top of that, getting your picture taken with her? If I were you, I wouldn’t talk to her at all, unless it had to do with the children or a life-threatening situation. Otherwise, ‘speak to my lawyer!’

And, you, bitch, what you’re doing is wrong and a terrible example for your children! Want to screw with your boyfriend or anyone else, do it while single!

And that line of ‘redefining family’, you’re just looking in your own little world for others to tell you that what you’re doing is fine when you damn well know it’s not!

A family is one set of parents, not being with someone and playing with whoever is next-in-line, unless the three of you enjoy the ‘switch-a-roo’ game.

My emotions got really ‘menopausal’ and felt somewhat lied by this guy. I’ve really gotten to the point that I actually don’t like him as a person that much any more.

As the days go by, he’s becoming less and less present on my thoughts, and more becoming a distant memory, like the way it happened in high school.

So where do I take it from here? Nowhere. He hasn’t made the effort to come here and will never do, so nothing will happen here.

The end? Probably.



‘I’m really sorry for what’s happening to you,’ wrote I. ‘I’ve been through it and it’s a difficult process. Is there any chance for the two of you of turning things around with some professional help or something?’

‘No, we’ve tried everything. A divorce is definite. My kids are taking it well. She has moved on with her life already,’ responded he.

Ouch! That’s the same thing my ‘x’ said when he left me. He stated that he had restarted his life and was already dating. He said it with such confidence it made me very upset because he probably was in this ‘singlehood’ thing way before he made his decision.

Reading my friend’s message didn’t open old wounds, but shocked me again how easy it is for other people to end relationships and live ‘la vida loca’ without any remorse. They don’t care about others or the consequences that will bring to them or close ones.

They only think about themselves because they don’t put their emotions into this. It’s not about love; it’s about winning, getting what they want, even if it means running people over.

I may sound judgmental towards a person I’ve never met, but with my experience, I bet you that I’m so right.

So, what am I thinking (or feeling) about his whole situation? I hate to say it, but I’m sort of ‘happy’ that he may become single.

I know it’s not right to feel this way towards others’ misfortune. But after what the ‘beach guy’ and I shared in the past it’s still lingering within me, as there’s something there that needs to be resolved.

What I’m thinking (not feeling) is that perhaps the universe is shuffling things around for this to happen.

If it does, what would I feel then?



et cetera