The New M.E. Generation











Just when I thought that things with this guy seemed to be leveling down, I get a phone call from him in the middle of the day, about 2 months after his arrival to the place ‘he hated so much, he felt like tearing the license plate off the car once he crossed the state’s city limits”, just like he did one month after being in the Pacific, to inform me of the following: “I’m just calling you quickly to let you know that I’m getting out of here!!!”

‘Say what??’ I thought to myself. It was like Groundhog Day, when the same incident and words from a few months back had repeated again. “Getting out of where??” asked I.

“The place that I’m living,” said he very angry. “Today is my last day here. This guy told me I couldn’t be here any more, so I made a few calls to people I know, and thank God who never fails me, I was able to find a place to move in right away. I will call you at another time when I’m settled down.”

I didn’t really pay attention to the details of what caused him to go; when I heard the religious part I got nauseated and lost focus on the conversation. Plus, here was again another situation of him having a disagreement with other people, either personal or work related, that ended in a nasty dispute. See the pattern here? His bitchy ex-girlfriend, sister, father, friends, co-workers. And, of course, it was the other person’s fault, not his.

In this case, from what I understood, my then friend was living at a room at the residence of a friend and/or former colleague, who was letting him live in the space for free until he had enough money to find a place of his own.

According to his version, the ‘landlord’ asked him to pay or got upset with this guy for something, and told him he had to go by the end of the month. This guy got so upset at his treatment that he told him, “don’t worry about me leaving this month; as a matter of fact, I’m leaving today, right now!!”

I think this happened sometime in the middle of the work week, so the conversation ended rather quickly and me not having much of a chance to say or ask anything else. He didn’t have much possessions with him, so I don’t think he sacrificed much work time to complete his move.

If we did have a chance to speak about this again, I’m sure he would have been still very angry for the fact that ‘he thought this person was his friend, but proved him wrong’, that ‘he was clearly stabbed on the back’, and that ‘for some reason God wanted me out of there, so that’s why this happened’.

After all this was over, I was again sort of distant from him as I living too many familiar emotions: his behavior change, angry outbursts, being unreachable, secrecy, religious fanaticism. The excuse of ‘been busy with my new job’ was the best into keeping a distance.

I think a few months went by when he informed me that he was again going to visit his mom over the weekend (to pick up one of his cars he had left at her house, or something like that), and that I was invited to go there from Saturday to Sunday, if possible.

He told me ‘very last minute’ and I wasn’t all sure about it, but decided to go ahead. With so much happening from him, I was feeling that there wouldn’t be that many chances in the future of getting together.

In other words, it was a ‘now or never’ situation. I didn’t see it then, but reality was that the end of an era was slowly approaching and it would happen with a ‘bang’ in the worst of ways possible.

 



What I remember next was that he had the help from a former colleague in moving out of the apartment and placing his belongings in the storage spaces.

I believed he then made the trip to his mom’s to leave one of the cars with her; the third one would stay with a couple friends of his.

I don’t recall if I saw him before he left to the Pacific. If I did, I probably got teary eyed when saying good-bye while giving him a hug, liked I’ve always done, when I knew it would be long before I saw him again.

I now look back and can’t believe how emotional I kept getting for him when he was showing the opposite feelings for me. I was so into keeping the friendship that I was allowing him to treat me like crap.

Yes, I was afraid of losing the only thing left that mattered to me, gave me security, a sense of self, anything and everything I relied on to have.

But unfortunately, when you place others before yourself, especially those who don’t deserve or haven’t earned it, they’re going to treat you badly.

And I’ve had this experience already happen with many others (including that person I was married with), so why was I in denial when reality was standing there right before me? Why was I being blind when he was showing his true colors?

If I didn’t get to see him and instead spoke with him on the phone, I probably got equally emotional, but didn’t say much about it. I would again have placed him first and not add additional pressure on him that he already had, or so I thought.

My next recollection of events was that he finally took flight and was posting every detail of his travel tagged with religious emoticons and thoughts.

It went down to something like this: he sat on the plane’s window taking photos of the sky, for example, and write, “thank you Lord for this opportunity as you’re with me all the way”. His favorite emoticon was of two hands together in prayer, which he used all the time on social media and texts, even if the event didn’t have a religious connection.

Or a post like, “look at that water that’s waiting for me down there and none of you will get to enjoy.”

In essence, he was trying to convey that he was headed to paradise and that his decision to go there was because the One above told him to, that ‘this is where he wants me to be right now, even though I don’t have an explanation as to the why of it.’

As the posts continued, they became too much for me. I felt like sticking my hand down the throat and puke at his absurdity. It was the same rhetoric over and over, like he needed continuous confirmation about anything that embodied him.

What it really sounded to me was that ‘the Man is giving me everything that I need because I am kissing butt big time to secure my place in the afterlife, which I know I have, and none of you are getting’.

He may be thankful of all the powers he supposedly was gifted from heaven, but it was clear as the blue sky that it was all about ‘me, me, me’, as in ‘me’ is better than you, ‘me’ gets all that I want, ‘me’ knows better than you, ‘me’ is untouchable ‘cause I got Him on my side and you don’t’.

He may have felt he was on top of the world and able to conquer it all, but his life was headed towards the worst transatlantic disaster he would experience.

Let’s say it certainly wasn’t going to be a day at the beach and would require more than his two hands held together to get a grab of it.

In other words, you never know what the tide might bring in, or like they say in aviation lingo, hold on tight to your seat, brace for impact, and hold your breath, ’cause you’re going down, down, down.



It felt like forever getting to our destination, but it was worth it. It was nice to see my friend’s mom since forever and she was equally happy to see us both.

It definitely had been a long day and as it progressed, I was the one feeling about to crash and he was still wired like the battery character ‘going on and on and on’. What else do you expect after all that sleep that he got?

The next day I rested as much as I could because we were to travel to 3 different locations. We first visited an old couple friend of them. I don’t mind doing it, but felt my friend’s comment of ‘I don’t know when will I see them alive again’ felt a total exaggeration. Don’t get me wrong, but his mom and couple looked pretty good to me, as in that they are going to live calmly and well for many more years.

The other comment that bothered me was that, according to my friend, the children of his mom and couple lied to them. In the mom’s case, when the sister was getting divorced and found herself alone, she pressured her mom to help her, so the mom abruptly sold her house back home and bought the current one living. Turns out later that the daughter wasn’t helping or supporting the mom in any way.

Eventually the mom realized who her daughter really was, a situation my friend had warned the mom for years. On one occasion when my friend was visiting, and because of the hostility between them, the mom suggested she spent the nights somewhere else to avoid a confrontation between siblings. The daughter said that she wouldn’t and when the mom told her he would be staying at the house no matter what, she packed her stuff and moved out.

From what I remembered of their relationship, the hatred was so bad that if the two were together in the same place, chances were that they would get so physical it would require calling the police and a visit to the hospital as to how bad it would turn out.

And according to him, the children of the couple also managed for them to sell the house back home and get an apartment at a senior living facility, don’t know why, but eventually distanced themselves from the parents, leaving the couple very unhappy and confused.

My friend would speak with an angry tone of this and many other situations, as if those who did the bad were ‘on the side of the devil’ and he was the good one.

His other famous expressions about anything that he felt he was right about or turned out just as he predicted were “what did I tell you?? That didn’t happen by chance!!” or “this I know about; that’s why I go to sleep early”.

In spite of all this, I still believed in my friend and in the goodness he had within him and for me, in spite that he was starting to come across as arrogant and hard to deal with, and was still swallowing all the toxicity of his past relationship.

But, I stayed away from analyzing anything too much as I’ve always done with him. After all, it was my pre-birthday weekend and wanted to make of every moment a positive one. And I was with him, my best friend, the one who has gifted me so much. What else could I ask for? What could possibly go wrong?



The next day I sent an email to my ex-roommate. “I have to tell you what happened to me last night. Call me.”

I met Annette during my junior year in college. I was rooming with this Latina girl who was a senior back then (the one who was dating Mark’s best friend the year we all traveled to Canada) on the same campus apartment.

Annette and I were the most opposite people on campus. But we connected in some unexplainable way. Ever since we graduated, she has never missed my birthdays and has managed to keep in touch with me throughout the years.

My wish to see my advisor was something I wanted to do ever since I left school. Back in those days I had no clue what I was to do with my life, and he (Dr. S) somehow ‘got me.’ He had endless patience and never lost faith in me.

I still remember when he hand me my diploma on graduation day. I shook his hand and hugged him. It was very emotional for me.

“Thanks for believing in me,” I said to him and started to cry. He patted me on my back when he hugged me while trying to hold back tears.

Mark attended my graduation and helped me move my things out of my college room a few hours later. Before I left, I took a last look at the building where I lived and vowed to be back one day.

Many years later I found myself again standing outside a residence that meant everything to me. I’m standing in front of what used to be my home. As part of the divorce, (what’s his name) and I agreed that it would not be sold, and that I would get the share of the property, but I had to move out.

This was the same house I had lived in since I arrived to ‘the city.’ The same place that (him) and I fixed together, were those parties were held. It is where I thought I would live for the rest of my life.

I have been forced to do something I did not want to do.

All my belongings are inside the moving truck, and the driver is waiting for me to lead the way to the apartment I have leased.

I stared at it one last time. ‘You took away all that mattered to me the most, and I will never forgive you for that. But, don’t worry, I’ll be back,’ I said to myself.

Yes, I meant this place and, more importantly, that I would get my life back in such a way he would regret leaving me.

These two events in my life couldn’t correlate even more. I was scared, confused, and facing the world on my own, with no idea of how to tackle whatever life was to throw at me.



et cetera