The New M.E. Generation











So what happens when a friendship goes wrong?

And I’m not talking about any guy previously mentioned that I’ve tried to do things right.

Believe it or not, I’m referring to my high school friend. Of all people, he’s the one that I felt has betrayed me the most.

So how did it all happened is unclear to me, but will try to figure it out.

Our friendship started during our early teens. My earliest recollection was that he started hanging out with my brother at home. Of all the guys that would come around, he was the only one took an interest in me.

I wasn’t into him in anything at first. With only 13 years, my parents were divorced, my mom went back to work, and I was responsible for many chores at home.

Like all Hispanic cultures, my brother was doing whatever he wanted, including giving attention to his buddies instead of me. Top that with being a freshman trying to navigate school and life in general with no one to lead the way.

My memories included him talking to me every time he would be home, mostly about how I was doing. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me and that I were fine. I felt at ease with him and that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.

As I later learned, his father had a pharmacy in my neighborhood and that he worked there after school, and the mom had a beauty salon at the building where my dad had his office.

When I had nothing to do, I would walk to the pharmacy with the excuse of having to buy something. I would chat with him for a few and then headed back home. He never got upset with me while there and would always find the time to talk to me. I would later get my hair done with the mom and became a client for several years.

Curiously I never had an emotional interest with him. I never once felt like kissing or hugging him, or display any affection towards him.

After some time of friendship, he conveyed to me very politely that he had some interest in me. I felt very flattered, but never pursued him in any way any more than what we were sharing already.

He respected my way of being, including my feelings towards him, and became the only person I allowed to enter my world as a whole.

He had everything going on for him and I chose not to pursue him romantically. Sounds familiar? Yep, my love/hate relationship with men has run deeper that I thought. And sadly, being then or now, it sure feels the same.

Advertisements


The new year’s came and went. I made the best of what was left of my vacation days and returned to work with a new attitude. But, not sign of Ivan.

I think I was halfway through my workweek when I felt ‘teasing’ Ivan with a text to see if there was ever any reaction from him.

‘I didn’t hear from you at all again. So disappointing’, text I.

He surely reacted, about 5 minutes later. That was fast! And, no, it wasn’t with a text; he actually called.

“Why are you disappointed??!!,” asked he.

“Well, because…I answered your text and you never text again.”

“I had family visiting and it got complicated. You know how that goes.”

“I know that. And I replied to you that I would have loved to meet with both of you.”

“Listen, I can’t talk now. Will call you back,” said he while finishing the call in record time of about 2 minutes.

Really? How many times haven’t I heard this before or barely having an exchange of words?

About 3 minutes later he sent me a text: ‘Sorry, my employer was close when I was talking to you.’

And in true Ivan fashion, he hasn’t followed up on what he said he would do. But instead of getting upset as I used to do, I started laughing about what just happened. It made me remind that feeling when you were a child and decide to do something that you hope results that way you hoped for.

It was just the best one in the world. The fact that I was to tell no one made it even more enjoyable. It’s like having full control of what you do in your own little world.

I kept working with a nice smile on my face and feeling so happy with myself. Heck, I haven’t felt like this for a long time.

I let another week or so to go by as I and did what I’ve done before many times, send a new text: ‘Hey, you never called me back.’

Did he reply? Of course not! So I laughed again and forgot about it.

A new chance to text him happened when a girlfriend of mine was celebrating her birthday around where Ivan lives.

I thought about texting him, ‘I will be in your area tonight’, but decided not because I knew he would be another ‘no show’.

I went to the party, had fun, came back home and put myself to sleep, just like this situation has been.



et cetera