The New M.E. Generation











One day to the next he was back to the U.S. Everything was so confusing and happened so quickly, that it didn’t give me time to process his move and abrupt return. I was still as confused about everything as when he announced that he was leaving.

Because he had no place to live, he opted to go stay with his mom. This way, he could save money while he found another job. Plus, he could spend some time with her, which was important to him due to her health.

He had also mentioned to me that going back to the state where he lived with the classless girlfriend wasn’t an option.

He simply hated how expensive it was to live there, a responsibility he took on himself entirely because she never worked due to language or residency issues.

On top of that, her son didn’t worked either, so he ‘paid for everything and these two were totally ungrateful to me. They never appreciated anything I did for them.’

He hated that location so much and everything it represented, that ‘when I passed the state line while moving, I felt like ripping the license plate off my car and throwing it away as far as I could.’

I clearly remember when he told me on the phone. His tone was one of being highly disgusted, of not having anything good to say about his years there. I could even imagine his face all boiled up and angry.

Looking back it’s scary to realize now how diabolic he sounded, like someone who wanted to take revenge on his ex and had started taking the first steps into that by leaving.

It’s diabolic in the sense that he was conjuring up a plan to inflict some pain on her for what she had done to him.

Once again, I didn’t think much of him then. I never saw him as one who would let his anger take over him and make him do what you never expected he would.

Once he settled in his mom’s house, he remained sort of quiet with me. I had recently started a new job and he didn’t want to invite me over yet so ‘I could concentrate on what I was doing.’ According to him, he ‘wanted me settle down on the job first and foremost.’

He was himself going through the change of being back and else. Curiously he wasn’t saying much about himself, which was kind of odd. It was a feeling that, for now, it was all about me and new stage in my life.

I knew he was unhappy with his life, but being with his mom sort of calmed him down and seemed he was slowly getting back to being his old self, at least that’s what I was perceiving.

Truth is, even when having people close to you, there’s always an internal distance that separates you from them. There are always storms within us that sometimes get too big to control, and you never see them coming until they hit you.

And when they do, they break you apart in such a way that even the best reconstruction efforts will always leave dents within your foundation. You may fix things, but they’ll never be the same, ever.



After dinner I let my friend drive back. It definitely had been a long, productive day, and never short of drama.

After this weekend, what I believe happened was that on my actual birthday date, I didn’t get a call or message from his, which was strange. He had always been the first for those outside my family.

It got to a point late in the day that I text him, saying, “Hey, you totally forgot my birthday!” After no response, also not the norm, I called him.

“What happened? You totally forgot about me!” said I.

“I was waiting until I was unoccupied so I could talk to you without rushing it,” replied he.

What he meant was that after finishing work, he went straight to church, then home. He took care of his things first and he basically communicated to me that I wasn’t that important any more.

He was definitely getting even weirder by the day, especially when his job was about 2 months away from ending and had nothing lined up next.

The church thing was happening every day, spending to at least 4 hours either praying or meeting with some church group he had become part of. Every time I called him, he wouldn’t answer the call and would quickly reply with a text that read “Church” with an emoticon of two hands together in prayer.

If I were lucky to talk to him late at night, he would say, “I go to church because I have nothing else to do after work.”

Really? He used to take long walks to exercise and we would talk on the phone while at that. Or he would cook himself dinner. He was available to me and we always had something to talk about.

All I was hearing now was, “I’m praying so much on my knees, they’re starting to peel,” or “the only people that I have in this life is God, my mom and you,” or “I know God will lead me into the right path.”

I supported his ‘faithfulness’, but the repetition of actions and words started feeling monotonous, as if he was stuck in a place he really didn’t wanted to move away from.

He needed to find a new job, but wanted to stay with the current employer so not to lose his seniority. Fine, but if that option doesn’t work, you have to have other options, which I don’t think he wasn’t pursuing much.

He going to church made him a person that only socialized with other who shared his mentality, thus isolating himself from the ‘real world’. His attitude that ‘God is on my side’ was becoming arrogant and that ‘the one above’ was he towards others.

He started criticizing my way of being, claiming I didn’t had a man in my life because I hadn’t forgiven my ex and if I disapproved, he would retaliate very nasty. His response towards me was, “pues te veo mal” (things won’t go well with you).

As time progressed, the arguments increased. I kept telling him that my whole life had been about pleasing others or doing what was expected of me, and when I yelled out my frustration, people would say I had an attitude problem and label me a bitch. Others would be happy, but didn’t care I wasn’t. My friend became one of those persons.

And regarding forgiveness, I told him that was my prerogative to do or not, that I did that so many times and my ex was so unappreciated about it that I stopped doing it because he didn’t deserve it.

I was now standing for myself, something my friend had always told me I needed to do, and now he was mad I was applying what he taught me to him.

My friend became bitter and non-negotiable on anything, displaying lots of anger in his nasty voice. You could feel this heavy, negative energy on the phone. He may have been praying plenty, but he was now the embodiment of a true devil.

I think what became the problem was that for the first time in his life, he had lost control. Nothing was happening as he wanted, even if he worked on it. He didn’t have job offers, he never got over his breakup, and I wasn’t doing what he told me to do.

Even with the help of a professional, he now struggled with depression and was still obsessed that his ex had to change.

He was acting towards me like the ‘big brother’ character instead of the older brother figure he had always been. His religious fanatic tactic of spreading fear wasn’t affecting me and he resented that.

He was hiding behind his beliefs and blaming others for his outcome. He may have thought he was set to go when the end of the world happened, but instead it was ‘highway to hell’ with him.

You see my then friend, you forgot that you gave me the wings to fly, and I’m soaring high to my own happy place and more. And I’m at peace with that. About time already.



et cetera