The New M.E. Generation











{February 8, 2016}   The Ex-Friend 22 – Cold plate

In spite of all my friend’s oddities, I still believed in him and that he would eventually find a way to get his life back on track as he has always proven to do so.

That’s how I was back then, I loved people so much, I overlooked those red flags that were alerting me I needed to handle situations differently.

I gave people endless opportunities because I believed in them, but this same goodness I gave others would be the same one others abused of and eventually lead getting betrayed by them, a hard lesson that I got many times over from those I thought were my friends .

After the birthday incident, he had remaining about 1 more month on his job. From there he had no solid offers, even though he was in conversations with his employers about the possibility of an opening 2 states away from his current location.

I don’t remember the order of the next sequence of events, but the end of the year was coming soon. I do remember that he was with his mom celebrating Christmas and his birthday, which is also in December.

He had told me originally that if I didn’t had plans for New Year’s Eve, to drive to his mom’s and spent it with them. I had told him yes, but he backed down at the last minute, citing that he was still dealing with issues with his ex, and that there could a possibility of working things out, and my presence would dampen that.

I was really upset and had to call on a couple friend of mine that I would always spend this date with, to ask them if they could accommodate me and they did as always.

My then friend showed no emotion to what he did. “If you don’t have where to go, you can come here,” said he when I was still scrambling to find an outfit and a gift for my hosts.

Really? You’re telling me this when this event is happening tonight? You expect me to drive 4 hours if all else fails for me? And you’re trying to do what? Feeling sorry for me for screwing such an important time of the year? Trying to modify your heartless act? What are you taking me for?

After so many times you had told me you tried to fix thing with your ex and she didn’t wanted to and treated you like trash, that she’s a person who is ‘on the devil’s side’ and would talk to you with her fists up in her face ‘ready to strike back’, of whom you have never, ever, mentioned anything positive about, and you’re still hanging on to a ‘possibility’?

You, the one who always said to get rid of people (especially guys) who are worthless or useless, still want something with someone who has proven to be exactly that?

You may be totally immersed in your faith, but you have clearly turned your back to those who really love you. If there were a poster child for love-hate relationships, it would be you.

And I thought I had it bad. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

What an a-hole he was becoming. I don’t think I wished him a happy birthday or new year. But why should I?

“Tú no eres plato de segunda mesa” (you’re not a second plate from a side table) is another quote he would always say.

Fine, I’ll serve it to you straight up: go f— yourself (and that low quality creature). Cheers!

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It was a long night, but a great one. We got home and I was ready to hit the bed after an exhausting day like this. Plus, we were driving tomorrow to celebrate my birthday and staying at his mom’s house, which was to take at least 4 hours to get there.

And just when I thought it was safe to end the day, turns out my friend wasn’t in any mood to do that.

“Are there any open bars around here?” said he in a very wired tone, like if someone had put a drug on his drink or something. “I don’t get to party much and I want to take advantage of this vacation,” continued he.

I gave him an upset look of ‘this is not new year’s eve or going to party like it’s 1999’. “What do you mean? All places are closed at this time,” replied I.

I could have expected this behavior from any other guy, but him? This was totally new to me. The guy I remembered would always get organized ahead and go to bed early, especially when it had to do with a trip that included seeing his mom, the one person he always said to love so much and hated being away from.

He was still looking at me like ‘let’s bring down this house’ with eyes lost in party central. He was so ‘up and going’ that had he had the chance to go anywhere by himself, he would have done it and left me behind.

I had a facial expression of ‘if you leave this apartment, don’t even bother to come back’. He may have been my friend and loved him unconditionally, but I wasn’t going to put up with any stupidities from any guy, including him, just like he had taught me to.

I don’t recall what happened next, but he didn’t leave. He slept in the sofa and I in my room with the door closed, checking my surroundings every so often, just like the night before.

Even with all that happened, I managed to have a good night’s sleep. I woke up rather early; the plan was to try to leave as soon as possible to take advantage of the day.

I stood right at him and he was really crashed. He was deep asleep face up and didn’t felt me there, even when I stick my face almost touching his or when his phone vibrated with a call.

I wondered again if I should take up on his proposition, but this time I really wasn’t feeling it, even less after the stunt he almost pulled off last night. I thought had he done that, I don’t think jumping on top of him or slapping his face would have woken him up.

He obviously wasn’t coming out of his semi-comatose state, so I finished my luggage and ate something quickly.

I could hear his phone buzzing a few more times and he eventually woke up. I didn’t make any comments again regarding the night before. I just wanted to concentrate on the weekend and myself.

My friend went back to being who I remembered him for, focusing on the day ahead and moving forward accordingly. He answered the phone, got up, and ready. We left later than expected, but we did it.

I drove my car and he used his phone’s GPS to lead the way. We even talked about anything and everything, past and present, as we traveled.

It took me back all the way to high school when we didn’t know what life was holding up for us, but somehow managed to find the right way to get there.

Hopefully there will be more other detours that get this trip off track again.



The days went by and no sign of Ivan. To be honest, I was caught up with finishing the work year and looking forward to the vacation days that I forgot about him. It had been hectic at work and really needed some ‘me’ time. I just wanted to enjoy the holidays and end the year in a good note.

It wasn’t until New Year’s Eve that he resurfaced just as he said he would.

“Hey, I’m back in town and my sibling is visiting. What are you doing tonight?” text he.

I was surprised he actually contacted me, but even more that he invited me to celebrate this day with a family member.

“I actually have plans for tonight. But would love to meet up with you and your sibling some other time, perhaps tomorrow?” answered I.

He didn’t reply to my text. I was getting ready for the night, but also nervous that perhaps I was missing on an opportunity to see him, so I text him again.

“Maybe we could meet later after midnight?” text I.

Why not? I am the one complaining that nothing happens with guys and that my social life needs to improve. So then let’s do something really out of the norm for me. These moments happen rarely and this day only once a year.

No reply. Guess he was expecting another answer? Now what? Switch to ‘desperate mode’ and call him.

But, he went back to his old self: no answer. I left a voice message summarizing what I wrote, that would love to get together with him and other person, either tonight, tomorrow or whenever convenient for him, and to please call me back.

Of course, that didn’t happen. I got somewhat upset, but quickly put it aside. This end of the year, I wasn’t allowing any guy to make me feel guilty about anything.

It has really been many difficult years, but slowly and surely, I’ve grown personally and spiritually to levels it has taken me plenty of effort to achieve. And I just wanted the next year to be better than before.

That I’ve hadn’t had a guy next to me at midnight ever since being single? True, but I know it won’t be forever.

Some people have come and gone and I have lived through the best and worst. May still not have a clue about the future and how I will get there.

But I am here still and at peace with myself, and tonight this is all that matters to me.



et cetera