The New M.E. Generation











{October 17, 2016}   The Swipe 4 – Getting the booty

I don’t know why, but I kept trying to make some connection with Fish. I guess I was still hung up on the school thing and the interest of reviving some old times. But after a short while of trying, it was already smelling bad.

The stupid excuses, no returned calls, or lack of empathy from his part, continued, and it was all taking a toll on me.

I think at one point I got so insistent with his text messaging that I flat out asked him, ‘are you ever going to talk to me on the phone?’ About a minute later, to my surprise, he finally called.

Not only did the content of his texts that tried to justify his actions were lame, but his voice was monotonous, had a flat tone, and showed no interest towards me.

That conversation was a blur to me. I recall somewhat that he said something to the extent of, ‘I’ve met a few girls on the app, went out with them…’, but that was about it. In other words, he has gone out with other women, although nothing panned out of them, but is not doing anything to try to meet with me.

“Well,” said I, “sometimes one… (I took a pause realizing there was no point with him on what I wanted to say) …just wants to hear the other person’s voice.” I lied. What I actually wanted to say was that ‘sometimes you have a need to talk to someone’. He hadn’t shown any emotions here, and this call wasn’t going to change that either.

Not even one time when I was working on a presentation from home on a Sunday that was really draining. Once again I reached out to him via text (‘I’m about to have a meltdown’) and he just replied like it wasn’t a big deal (‘Take it easy’). He didn’t get the message. He didn’t call either, not even if my life was depending on it.

I then thought that maybe I needed to throw a bone at him, like, making the move of finally meeting.

‘Hey,’ texted I, ‘how about you coming my way and do something?’, to which he replied, ‘Like what?’ (What do you mean ‘like what’?)

I replied, ‘go for a movie, a drink maybe’. ‘I have to check my schedule’, replied he. (Really? Are you so busy you have no time for me?) ‘If you have to think about it too much, then forget it,’ replied I. I felt more like saying, ‘go f#$% yourself’.

Oh, ok, now I get it. He thinks I’m using the invitation for meeting as a coverup, because what I supposedly really want is to have sex with him.

That’s why the women situation doesn’t work with him. He’s not interested in anything other than a booty call. After he goes out with them, and manages to screw them, he then gives them the boot. If he doesn’t get what he wants (sex), he will dump them just the same.

The last I heard from him was when I tried, yet again, on a Friday, to hopefully schedule a meeting.

‘Hey, what are you up to?’ asked I. ‘Hi. I’m (4 hours away) at a trade show,’ replied he. ‘I’m at a booth. Really can’t talk. How are you? I’m free tonight, but where I am,’ continued he.

‘Oh, look; Fish is trying to be funny,’ I thought sarcastically to myself. More like an ass (or donkey), really.

I got so upset I only replied, ‘never mind’, to which he just said, ‘ok’. Zero intelligence from this guy whatsoever. I limited myself to that because I knew that if I let my emotions take control, I was going to say a bunch of things that would be worthless with a guy like him.

The next day, though, I decided it was time to end whatever this all was. I thought to myself that if he was at the booth, then it meant he would be surrounded most probably by his boss and/or colleagues.

I knew calling never worked with him, so I decided to dish out what I needed to say over a text message, his preferred method of communication.

‘I have something to get off my chest. Do you realize that you have never, ever, answered any of my calls, but always have an excuse for not doing so? And you never return them either? And when I’ve texted you that I’m having a meltdown, you showed no sensitivity. I would have rather you not friend me in the app. That’s why I’m single because of guys like you who don’t care about others.’

After I sent the text, I then proceeded to block him. This way he’s totally out of my existence. I started laughing wondering what he’s reaction would be like, especially when I send the message at the worst possible time for him.

A couple of months later, when I was in my social media page, I accidentally saw his name under the ‘People you may know’ option. (That was another thing, he never accepted my friend invitation.)

I checked out his profile and there was this selfie of him standing in front of a monument in some other state I couldn’t recognize and didn’t care to know.

‘Of course he’s alone,’ I thought to myself. ‘What else is new?’ I just sort of chuckled and felt grateful for myself for taking the step of dropping him.

As for him, well, he’ll just continue fishing on the app for more bodies to take. Maybe in the long run he’ll catch one that suits his every need.

As for me, time to swipe some more. Plenty of more fish to go after out there.



{August 31, 2015}   Looking Back 49 – Well done

The next day, Sunday, I woke up trying not to think about the incidents that had occurred the previous days. I try to do that with a daily routine of making coffee, picking up the bed, have breakfast, wash the dishes, get ready and go, either to work or run errands.

I couldn’t go to church the day before because of a heavy downpour that kept me at home. I definitely needed some spiritual distraction. His comments had touched a nerve with me on issues I have worked really hard to resolve. Even more, I was determined not to have anyone or anything disrupt my tranquility.

All these single years have been about me and I was not going to revert of losing who I was now as a person. It had taken me a lot of effort to develop an outside shell that just repelled all attacks or negativity that came my way.

He may be done with me and so do I with him, but there was something for me to say to be really that.

‘BTW, every time I reach out to you you’re busy. Then you appear out of nowhere and expect me to drop everything to be with you?’ text I.

‘Emma, I am busy. I have multiple businesses. No big deal. Just don’t bust my balls to come to Miami. I had a limo all weekend and could have come to you, although my suite is way nicer and more comfy. I could have sent the car for you. It didn’t work out. I’m not a planner…just the way I am.’

‘Fine but that’s how I operate. If you had told me ahead of time would have been better. My life may seem bland to you but it’s mine and I’m fine with it. It was very hurtful from your part bringing out my ex.’

‘All good. I need to get on a private jet now. You’re hung up on that. Let it go. It’s holding your life back.’

‘That’s my problem, not yours.’

‘And I let it go. So there. You’re the one always bringing it up.’

First of all, the suite you were may be awesome for you, but you’re been very rude downgrading my place. In fact, you’re been a total dick. I’m very comfy here, even when watching reruns. It’s my little kingdom and wouldn’t change it. And if your ‘balls’ aren’t into coming my way, why should I move mine for you?

Second, that I bring the ex up, really? When? We never talk. You’re always busy. You said it yourself. Again, had I complied with doing exactly as he wanted, nothing of this ‘conversation’ would have been said.

Third, you say you’re not a planner? Guess what, neither do I. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m desperate to have sex with the first guy that comes along. You do with your life the same I do, whatever I want.

The limo suite and else sounds very inviting, but they feel as shallow as you, because there’s no feelings in them, other than fulfilling your needs.

You’re treating me as one of your other ‘toys’ that you have at you disposition to use whenever you want. You might think you can turn me ‘on’ whenever you want, but you’re really turn me ‘off’ time and again.

And as usual, the battle of words happened, but I was glad I said what I said.

I left my apartment very peaceful. It was a feeling that after today there would be no more communications between us both.

It was as if I had finally closed the chapter with this one and I’m glad it did. I felt stronger, more confident as a woman, and that’s all worth it.

So you see ‘beach guy’, I did take my life back as you told me to, but you’re no longer in it because I let go of what I really needed to: you. Done.



et cetera