The New M.E. Generation











The days went by and no sign of Ivan. To be honest, I was caught up with finishing the work year and looking forward to the vacation days that I forgot about him. It had been hectic at work and really needed some ‘me’ time. I just wanted to enjoy the holidays and end the year in a good note.

It wasn’t until New Year’s Eve that he resurfaced just as he said he would.

“Hey, I’m back in town and my sibling is visiting. What are you doing tonight?” text he.

I was surprised he actually contacted me, but even more that he invited me to celebrate this day with a family member.

“I actually have plans for tonight. But would love to meet up with you and your sibling some other time, perhaps tomorrow?” answered I.

He didn’t reply to my text. I was getting ready for the night, but also nervous that perhaps I was missing on an opportunity to see him, so I text him again.

“Maybe we could meet later after midnight?” text I.

Why not? I am the one complaining that nothing happens with guys and that my social life needs to improve. So then let’s do something really out of the norm for me. These moments happen rarely and this day only once a year.

No reply. Guess he was expecting another answer? Now what? Switch to ‘desperate mode’ and call him.

But, he went back to his old self: no answer. I left a voice message summarizing what I wrote, that would love to get together with him and other person, either tonight, tomorrow or whenever convenient for him, and to please call me back.

Of course, that didn’t happen. I got somewhat upset, but quickly put it aside. This end of the year, I wasn’t allowing any guy to make me feel guilty about anything.

It has really been many difficult years, but slowly and surely, I’ve grown personally and spiritually to levels it has taken me plenty of effort to achieve. And I just wanted the next year to be better than before.

That I’ve hadn’t had a guy next to me at midnight ever since being single? True, but I know it won’t be forever.

Some people have come and gone and I have lived through the best and worst. May still not have a clue about the future and how I will get there.

But I am here still and at peace with myself, and tonight this is all that matters to me.

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I was glancing through the list of possible date candidates that I receive daily via email, when…(whoa!), is that him?

I quickly opened his profile and, sure enough, it was he. He still had some photos that I remember seeing when I first met him plus some new ones.

Those others showed a much happier person and I was glad. It has been a few years and by this time I’m sure he had achieved getting his medical license and taking care of other aspects of his life.

I enjoyed looking at his pictures, but having an active profile also meant he was still single all together. So maybe I wasn’t that wrong in my opinion when we knew each other.

Reality is, it’s been that long since we last spoke that it doesn’t matter now. The present does.

I kept looking at his profile and pictures, and decided to send him an email. He looked that he was in a good place so contacting him didn’t felt like a bad idea.

What’s the worst that could happen? That he deletes it and/or never replies to it? Probably.

All right, here I go.

‘Hey, how are you? I accidentally came across your profile and from the look of your pictures I can tell that life is good for you.

I know things between us didn’t end in a good way, but please know that I only wish the best for you.’

I was nervous hitting the ‘send’ button. What I said was to the point, but how will he take it? Just do it. (Done.)



Jesse did disappear from the radar. Whatever the reasons he did so were unimportant to me. I was actually relieved that most probably I wouldn’t speak to him again…sort of.

Some months later he sent me a text. It was a long weekend and he was hanging out with some friends, but still wanted to see me.

This sounded like a re-run of the previous incident. Although it was much earlier in the day and seemed like there was no pizza involved, he again mentioned he wanted to come over my place.

And when does he think he will do that, at 3am?

I wasn’t feeling it nor I thought it would be a good idea to give him a second chance, so I replied by telling him to enjoy the day with his friends.

In other words, sorry, I’m not available.

Jesse didn’t reply again or called me. I was glad it happened that way, even more that I did what I did.

After all, what’s your interest of seeing me when you’re having fun with others?

Like the younger crowd says nowadays, ‘whatever.’



et cetera