The New M.E. Generation











My high school friend graduated a year before I did. My brother was on the same class and attending the graduation without him being there was a somber night for me.

This period represented a new stage in my life. My friend and brother were going away to college in a few months, which meant I would be alone at home with mom and my Senior year would start.

I was looking forward to this time, but was also lost of what to do with education and myself, especially when he was away.

I felt somewhat lost without my support system. And my insecurities about my intelligence and grades for my college application had me on the edge.

I kept thinking how in spite all he did he managed to get to the school of his choice. He knew exactly what he wanted to do for a career and how he would make it happen. Me, I didn’t have a clue what to expect for dinner that night.

The last memory I have of my friend during this time was of him coming to terms about ending high school, but glad he would go away from all this and start engaging in what he really loved.

He legally completed his studies, but don’t recall that he received the diploma. I believe he mentioned having to get a lawyer so there would be a record filed in school and Education Department that he had completed all the high school requirements.

That made me even more sad and puzzled about life in general and of witnessing this happening to someone I cared about.

That’s probably why I was overwhelmed; my mom had high expectations of me, my brother was the center of attention for always, and my mom was trying to adjust to this major change at home.

The summer went normal. I would see my friend at the pharmacy whenever I could. I don’t recall saying good-bye in person. I probably did over the phone and holding back my tears. After all he went through to finish school, the least I could do was to be supportive towards him and not add any additional pressure.

I do recall that when he and my brother left, I sat at my room looking around and thinking, ‘now what?’ It wouldn’t be the first moment that I felt that I was totally on my own without someone to hold my hand to lead the way.

It was as scary as when my ‘x’ walked out the door for good. Thinking about it now brings back this feeling, but incredibly I managed to overcome it all and stay in one piece.

So why am I still sad? Because I miss my friend and it hurts losing the friendship. This is not what was meant to be, but as he and I have done, I will hold my head up, knowing that no matter what, I will make it through this time and will be just fine.

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The days went by and no sign of Ivan. To be honest, I was caught up with finishing the work year and looking forward to the vacation days that I forgot about him. It had been hectic at work and really needed some ‘me’ time. I just wanted to enjoy the holidays and end the year in a good note.

It wasn’t until New Year’s Eve that he resurfaced just as he said he would.

“Hey, I’m back in town and my sibling is visiting. What are you doing tonight?” text he.

I was surprised he actually contacted me, but even more that he invited me to celebrate this day with a family member.

“I actually have plans for tonight. But would love to meet up with you and your sibling some other time, perhaps tomorrow?” answered I.

He didn’t reply to my text. I was getting ready for the night, but also nervous that perhaps I was missing on an opportunity to see him, so I text him again.

“Maybe we could meet later after midnight?” text I.

Why not? I am the one complaining that nothing happens with guys and that my social life needs to improve. So then let’s do something really out of the norm for me. These moments happen rarely and this day only once a year.

No reply. Guess he was expecting another answer? Now what? Switch to ‘desperate mode’ and call him.

But, he went back to his old self: no answer. I left a voice message summarizing what I wrote, that would love to get together with him and other person, either tonight, tomorrow or whenever convenient for him, and to please call me back.

Of course, that didn’t happen. I got somewhat upset, but quickly put it aside. This end of the year, I wasn’t allowing any guy to make me feel guilty about anything.

It has really been many difficult years, but slowly and surely, I’ve grown personally and spiritually to levels it has taken me plenty of effort to achieve. And I just wanted the next year to be better than before.

That I’ve hadn’t had a guy next to me at midnight ever since being single? True, but I know it won’t be forever.

Some people have come and gone and I have lived through the best and worst. May still not have a clue about the future and how I will get there.

But I am here still and at peace with myself, and tonight this is all that matters to me.



I think I got a reply 2 days later, at around 2:57 am.

What? Dude, do you get to sleep at all? I know you’re in graduate school with hopes to go into medicine, but this is not exactly healthy.

Personally, I can’t recall when I was ever up until those hours when I was in college, undergrad or post-grad. As much as I had projects or tests, it got to a point tiredness would take over.

The last time I was awake or went to bed at those hours was for New Year’s.

‘So you’ve done this before?’ read his reply. ‘I’m not looking for anything other than just to get know you better. But maybe you’re not interested.’

This sounds so generic and thoughts that were drafted of whatever brain activity remained when you were up or about to crash on your bed, whoever’s that may have been.

And this part that you’re not looking for anything, it’s not true, since it was you who contacted me first. With that schedule of yours, I doubt you are willing to put time aside to ‘just get to know me’.

Now what? Should I continue the conversation or just ignore it?

Won’t hurt to reply. Besides, we don’t know who each other is in regards to anything personal, so I’m safe.

‘It doesn’t have to do with wherever I’m interested in this or not. I’ve lived that and don’t regret it. My goal is to find someone more of my age for a long-term relationship. If you want to get to know me, maybe I can do that’.

Talking about being unclear, my response surely was worse than his. Am I really going for this again although I want something else? Was is it about this guy that’s shifting me in the other direction?

Getting attention, being told that I’m pretty by a very young guy, the thrill of adventure, doing what I’m not supposed to be doing when I should have learned already, because like so many others like me, we need a dose of drama that fuels our lives.

Side effects to follow.



Alex got up from his chair and greeted me.

‘Oh, my,’ I thought to myself, ‘he looks old, like he has aged quite a bit. And, was he that much shorter than me? Maybe not; it’s just probably my mega heels.’

I also noticed how thin he was. He was this way when I first met him, but was toned because he was exercising. Now he looked he has lost weight.

We said hello to each other with a big hug. I bet a huge sigh of relief came out of both of us.

We sat down and I ordered a drink. He was open for me to order whatever I wanted, even food, and he meant anything. But before I got to that part, I wanted to take care of something else.

“Listen, thanks for taking my call and inviting me tonight. I’m not here to dwell on the past and express again how sorry I am for whatever I said and I did that hurt you. So I’m just going to move forward and enjoy this moment now and wish that it repeats.”

He listened to all I was saying and out of nowhere he simply replied, “what is it that you want?”

What? I was talking about us (I think). Why is he throwing this type of question at me now, today?

All I wanted was to clear things out once and for all, not dwell into a topic I really don’t want to discuss right now.

Now what? Should I answer or avoid answering all together?



It was a weekend like any other when, out of the blue, I get a text message during my sleep. I literally jumped when I heard the phone buzz as I usually don’t get texts to start with.

I opened the text to read it (‘Hello Emma how are you?’), but my phone did not match the sender from any one of my contacts.

I couldn’t recognize the number either, but something else did get my attention; I received it at 3am.

Who is this person who included my name on the text?

I didn’t respond to it. I went back to sleep and later on during the day I checked the number against my contacts list in my computer. No match either.

I then did a search on the Internet and the number appeared for the city that Jesse told me he lived.

‘Well, look who resurfaced!’ I thought. Wow, it’s quite something to be remembered.

So, now what? Am I going to respond or not? Whatever, he is in another state and I’m here. So he’s just probably saying hello and wanting to know how I am. That’s it, nothing else.

Yes, I’ll answer…later. I have other things to do.



I couldn’t shake off my frustration so I decided to call Dina and get her advice on what to do. After I briefed her on what had happened, her tone of voice was one of no surprise at all.

“Better get used to it ‘cause that’s how it is,” said she.

“What do you mean?”

“That guys in general are like that. You meet one, you go out with them once, lucky if twice, and then you never hear from them again.

They don’t tell you anything, never bother to call back, or whatever other reason they might have. It all boils down that they are not interested.”

“But how can this person come up with any conclusions about me when we only had one conversation?”

“Maybe you said something that turned him off or, whatever. You know what, it has happened to me quite a few times before that it doesn’t affect me any more.

If I were you, I wouldn’t even bother calling again. I would let it rest.”

“But he was surprised and grateful that I called him and he said to give him a call back. I mean, there’s a possibility that something happened to him or  his mobile.”

“Of course anything’s possible. It’s possible that, yes, he was genuinely happy that you called, as well as that he lost interest in the middle of the conversation.

Even more, he told you to call him back to not hurt your feelings. The list goes on and on.”

“So if that is the case, why are you still seeing that guy?”

“Because I haven’t put my emotions into it yet, so when he decides to leave I won’t get hurt.”

“I don’t get you. If you know that he, like others, will eventually behave the same way, why keep at it?”

“I told you, I’m not getting emotionally involved. I’m just going with the flow. Mark my words, in the end, it will lead to nothing.”

I was even more confused than when Dina and I started talking.

I know she was right about them guys disappearing, which has also happened to me. But Christian sounded sincere when we spoke. I think that if he became uninterested, he would have communicated that to me in some way.

Now my frustration has gotten worse.

Now what?



“Stephan, how old are you?” asked Dina. (No! What did she just asked now? Honestly, sometimes she’s worst than me.)

“What? Whoa! That’s some question you just threw at me!” said he.

Dina is looking at him expecting an answer. The situation has cornered this guy and he is forced to reply.

“I’m 30.”

“Oh,” said Dina not so enthusiastically.

Once again, I intervened. “I see that you’re with some friends? Do you come here often?”

“I try to, but my schedule doesn’t make it easy.”

“I know exactly what you’re talking about,” I replied.

The drinks are finally delivered to Stephan. “Listen, I have to get back to my friends, but would like to speak to you again,” said he while looking at Dina. (Yes! My effort worked.)

Dina doesn’t answer but I do for her. “Yeah, maybe we could all meet again in the future. Dina, give him your contact info.”

She takes out her business card and writes her mobile number.

“Thanks,” said he. “Enjoy the rest of the night.”

“Likewise,” I responded.

Dina is still silent. It’s obvious this whole experience is not sitting well with her.

Now what? Please don’t tell me this movie remake has all the elements to bomb at the box office once again.



What started as a beautiful, sunny beach day is now looking like it’s going to bring in some rain.

Dina and I get to the hut where the kayaks and sailboats are located and, once again, to my surprise, we’re the only ones there. I had forgotten it was still somewhat early in the morning.

But, who cares? It was now as if both of us had this water sport all for ourselves.

We walked in looking for whoever was in charge of running this show, and were greeted by a Brazilian guy who was playing some samba music in his CD player. As soon as he saw us walk in, he started dancing, and we joined him laughing. Cool! Maybe I can compensate for what I missed last night.

Since the day wasn’t that great with the wind, this dude suggested starting with the kayaks, which was perfect.

Dina and I sailed as far as we felt we should have, but it ended maybe sooner that wanted when we got hit by the rain.

We took the kayaks back to shore and waited for it to stop (about 5 minutes later) and then told ‘guy #4’ of the day to give us a lesson in sail boating. There still wasn’t enough wind to make it happen, but gave it a try anyway.

Dina and I are concentrated on the lesson, and even practiced what the guy preached when, out of the blue sky, the guy drops a bomb.

“And where is your husband??”

Dina’s jaw dropped and had a face of ‘you just did not say that!!’

“My what??”

I stared at this Brazilian; my eyes opened the widest possible and my face turned redder than the tan I was trying to get. My body temperature rose higher than that forecasted for the day.

I felt like kicking him out of the boat even if it meant loosing control of the boat and drifting away.

He quickly realized his big ‘oops’ and had no idea what to say to save the day.

I got mad for a split second and responded something to the extent of “My husband? Ah, he left me.”

But, you know what? I’m not letting anything ruin this time for me. So I quickly forgot the whole thing and put on a smiley face.

Now guy #4 is really freaking out. He probably thought I was in a psycho mode or something.

I don’t know how he did it, but successfully managed to get our attention back on the lesson and wrapped it up. We slowly, but surely, returned to shore.

Dina and I looked at each other. Now what?

“Let’s do lunch!”



et cetera