The New M.E. Generation











Despite the huge disappointment I had with Edward in the brief time we were together (if I can define it as that), I did what I used to do with other guys, I kept communicating with him. In other words, I was the one who continued putting the effort of having anything, if that, going.

The difference was I wasn’t pursuing him continuously. I would call him once in a while to find out how he and his children were doing. I would even ask him how things with the chick from the party were doing.

Turns out they were still dating, but he wouldn’t talk much about it. His divorce was still ongoing and was taking longer than it needed to be, so he just wanted to get that resolved first and then worry about what happened later.

Interesting part was I wasn’t feeling much when we discussed his love life. I think the circumstances of all that happened simply closed by emotions to him.

I was content with the relationship we were having, even if it was only through a phone. Sometimes he would invite me to the dog park to hang out with him, kids and pet on any given Sunday afternoon.

They were pleasant, stress-free moments. Still, I would look at all that and wondered if I had let a good opportunity pass me by. After all, he had all that I wanted from a man, all except feelings for him that would motivate me to try to pursue a relationship.

I would try to imagine myself as his companion and being part of his kids’ life, but there was something that wasn’t connecting it all together.

There was no spark or something that pushed me towards him. Yes, it was all weird. How was it possible that of all the guys I met I would feel something, but not towards him?

Was it that I tried so hard to make it right that I actually made it all wrong? Did I become my own worst enemy, literally?

And before I could actually answer my own questions, it all came down to an end in an instant.

It was another day at the dog park. I don’t remember if I called him (probably did) and when I got there, the chick from the party was also there. We both looked at each other as if we were having an out of body experience.

Edward didn’t seem to understand how uncomfortable the situation was, especially me who had no business being there. Even more, the way they behaved clearly showed they were already an item. He literally took me to the dogs and it was time for me to talk a walk far away from there.

After that day I believe I stopped communicating with him all together. From time to time I would see his posts and she would always be at his side.

They were always traveling somewhere (kids included) and the locations were ones any woman would love to go to.

I would again wonder if I had made a mistake with him. Damn, that could have been me in all those photos.

I was feeling envious, but more of the relationship they were having (which I didn’t have) and the allure of traveling the world.

Reality is, all that may sound very romantic, but if you don’t feel anything for the other person, you will not enjoy any of it. That has happened to me before, so, believe me, I know what I’m saying.

Let’s just say this flight has landed and will not take this route (with him) ever again.



We were kissing and everything around me ceased to exit. The Earth stood still. The planets were perfectly aligned. Everything I had experienced with the other guys was finally compensated with him. It was great, perfect, out of this world.

It was the best feeling in the world.

When the kiss was over, we looked at each other and smiled.  Not one word was said (I mean, what are you supposed to say after a moment like this?). We simply held hands and kept walking.

Yeah, that else. What do you say after been kissed AND your hand being held? How do you follow that?

He didn’t say one word or neither did I. I guess we just wanted to keep ‘enjoying the moment.’ Saying anything might have just altered this wonderful ‘out of body’ experience.

Shortly after, the ‘last call’ of the night was received. He had to pick up his employer and take her home, which signaled that our date was over for the night. Even more, what was to happen from this point forward?

I didn’t wait to ask when he walked me to my car. “So, what happens now? Are we seeing each other again? Do you want to?”

“Of course I do,” said he. “It’s just a matter of finding another moment like tonight. My job is pretty complicated the whole week, even on weekends.”

Don’t know why, but I have a feeling this job situation of his is going to be the ‘deal breaker,’ meaning, it’s not going to happen after all.

Damn it! Everything was going so perfect.

“Would you like to come to my apartment some time and hang out?” asked I.

“Love to.”

I said good-bye to Ivan and that would call him tomorrow, thanked him for the night, and drove home.

I kept my smile, but when I was away from his view, it changed. I got sort of sad and worried of where this date was going to lead.

I decided to sleep on it and feel his reaction over the phone the following day (if I’m lucky that it happens).



et cetera