The New M.E. Generation











I left to my New Year’s party invitation and completely forgot about Ivan on my way to it.

The place I’ve spent this night has been pretty much the same these past few years. Even better, the usual people go there, so we all know each other and I don’t feel out of place in spite of going alone.

It was a great night. I danced, partied plenty, ate great food and even enjoyed being around other people’s kids.

I also made sure and got something to wear just for the night. I went to a secret location that I know and scored a dress from an Asian designer with a quirky pattern that had golden accents on it.

I was glad that I found what I had envisioned on my mind: different, with a metallic color and even more, at a great price.

Yep, metallics are very popular during the holidays, but for me it represented trying to end the year and start the next one with a new glow.

Some of the people complemented my dress and I was glad they did. Thinking back at my other ensembles, I realized how they have evolved as a reflection of my times and emotions.

I will say that this year’s dress is the most fashionable so far. I’ve even changed my hairstyle which I got even more complements for.

If you looked at it you will see that the shape is simple, but the colors are bright (purple, red, blue) in structured lines all over the fabric.

It correlates with my current state of mind that I like things bright as they relate to light or positive things. Metallics reflect sunshine and capture the glow of stars. It all goes back to light, enlightenment, opening your space within yourself to let it shine in new things.

Although the background of the fabrics is black, the intensity of the color was perfect to make the others stand out. So in a way it means that my darker times are moving back and new shades are stepping in.

When midnight arrived I cried as I always do, but less intense as other years. People hugged me and I thanked everyone, including the house dog, for this night which they made it special.

The family even lighted some lanterns, which flew away in the sky. It gave me a feeling that I finally let go of the negative and that the light was showing the universe that, ‘I’m still here, watch me soar’.

I left the party when everyone started leaving and still no sign of Ivan, so I went home and relaxed before going to bed.

It was still dark, but the night had been perfect. I looked at the stars from my window and instead of making a wish I closed my eyes and said to myself, ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you’, and thought nothing else.

I opened my eyes. It’s a new year of new beginnings.

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“I promise I won’t bite,” said he while I kept considering his offer and sporting a poker face. Hell, this is not the first time I’ve heard this and won’t be the last.

I was torn as to what to do. I thought that if I declined, I would get upset later for not giving myself the opportunity of exposing myself to situations even though I’ve had them before.

Then, if I do decide to give it the go ahead and the results are bad, question is, which of the two will I regret the most? Even if I decide to go, that doesn’t guarantee that the outcome will be good.

“Fine, wine it is,” replied I.

I followed him in my car and his apartment wasn’t that far. I parked outside the building as instructed. It was one of those locations in the area I remember seeing going up every time I drove to work.

My insecurities sort of started to get activated. It’s not bad where I currently live, but it is an older structure and not as fancy as this one.

The apartment itself was not that big, but nice. It had 2 rooms, kitchen, living area, and balcony. He had a male roommate and the place was definitely a college/bachelor pad. At least it was a place that was mainly clean and organized, good enough to feel confident of safely drinking some wine from a glass he had.

I sat down on the sofa, which had in front a massive TV. It was a little bit intimidating looking at it. Not even growing up at home was there ever one this size and forget about those in college; the rooms could only accommodate so much. People had to basically sit very close to be able to view the screen.

Even if I presently had the money to buy one, I wouldn’t. I don’t see the value of owning something like this and prefer investing the money in something else that has more of a long-term value.

It also made me think, how does this guy (or maybe his roommate) get the money to buy it? I started feeling out of place and thinking this guy and I were really in 2 different worlds that were becoming more distant by the minute.

What the heck was I expecting? Sorry, I’m not in college any more and I’m not winning this battle of the sexes any time soon.

“Hey, you want to sit in the balcony?” asked he.

Good idea, perhaps a neutral zone is the next best move.



It surely was Alex sitting at the window table. “Hi, so glad we finally meet,” said I with sort of a hurried voice due to my fast walking. He looked fine and very similar in person as he does in his profile pictures, which is good to me. No surprises here, which I honestly don’t want at this time.

When he saw me coming in, he had a face of ‘wow,’ but I couldn’t decipher what he was expressing. It was a cross between ‘damn, she’s cute’ and ‘damn, she doesn’t look at all like the person in her profile.’ Hmm, maybe he’s just trying to show that he’s ‘under control,’ like me.

I sat down and quickly apologized for my delay. I don’t think I was that late, but I thought it was the right thing to do. I told him about me walking right by the location and finding myself completely ‘lost in space.’ I had a legitimate reason for what happened, but also thought making fun of my mistakes could ‘break the ice,’ and it did.

Alex totally understood me, as he had a share of unexpected situations in other online dates he previously had, which, according to him, were worse. He didn’t disclose those details at that moment (good move from his part), and I only hoped that I don’t make more and become another one of his dating ‘casualties.’

I slowly, but surely, settled down and started enjoying myself. The conversation continued very easily about our online experiences, followed by more personal subjects, like divorce.

I know this was a topic not to be touched so quickly, but both having experienced so much, the tone did not feel negative or out of place. It actually made us closer together as people.

He and I took advantage of the restaurant promo, which turned out to be great. I was now more concentrated on showing my best table manners and etiquette possible. At moments I thought to myself I was being hard with myself, but I just wanted to get it right, for once.

After dinner, Alex suggested having another drink at a bar about a block away from the restaurant. Good thing to suggest because the night was going well, but bad for my feet as they were still aching.

I think I can walk and sustain the pain for a few minutes. Then, when I get to the bar, find a chair to sit at. If  there’s only one available, he will let me take it. That’s if, he is a true gentleman.

We’ll find out soon enough.



et cetera