The New M.E. Generation











After my last attempts to meet guys online (please see The Swipe), I did take a break from my search. As much as I know that ‘mejor sola que mal acompañada’ (better alone than in bad company), it’s still bothersome after all these years not having experienced a serious relationship.

Yes, it hit me hard, and got me down for many days. Even having conversations with my bff’s only helped temporarily. Bottom line is, I envisioned my present in a much different way.

For that I’ve tried to keep myself busy so I don’t think about it. And started doing something new to approach what I was feeling.

It was the start of a work week and the traffic was somewhat congested. Every time I hit a red light, I looked around people in their vehicles to check out what they were doing.

There’s always some woman putting her makeup on, another was still wearing her curlers, and a guy was using an electric shaver for at least 3 lights long.

Others were obviously looking at the phone talking or texting, all totally unaware of their surroundings. I did a small experiment of making funny faces, even doing my version of carpool karaoke, and nobody noticed. It was so bad the disconnect they had with the world, I bet you had I done something politically incorrect through the window, still no one would have paid attention.

All I could was laugh, which was good, and congratulate myself for not being co-dependant on a device of any kind.

As my drive continued, I looked around at the sky, train, stores, and other things we all take for granted, and actually appreciated them.

I then said to myself, “I will give thanks for all the good I have: my job, family, home, health, those people who give me so much. Even the ones who were present for the time that they had to, I’m also grateful. Last, but not least, whoever falls under my ‘persona non grata’ list, I release you.”

Yes, I do believe that when some people (can be male friends, besties, love interests, etc.) are no longer with you in whatever capacity, is because they were meant to be when you needed the most. Sometimes they go into another direction for reasons that have nothing to do with you; sometimes what you had together has run its course and there’s not much in common any more; sometimes it’s us who realize that as much as we may appreciate the other person, it’s best that we step away for own good, and hopefully for the other one as well.

Those in ‘the list’ range from anyone who have used or hurt me, to those that is better not even thinking about them at all.

You can say my thoughts were a ‘waiting to exhale’ moment, but they did wonders to my commute that morning.

If I’m not laughing at people, I then look at license plates with a coded message and try to decipher them. If I like it, I take a photo and share it on my profile. Some are pretty straight forward; others not even my social media friends can figure out.

It was on a Tuesday morning when I did the above-mentioned exercise again; it gave me some relief, but was still feeling down. I then looked up and thought, ‘would it be too much to ask for a little divine intervention on this matter?’

About 10 minutes went by, when I was driving on the middle lane and notice a familiar plate: LED ZEP1. ‘OMG, there it is!’, I thought to myself.

This was like the third time I’ve seen it. On the first one, the car was to my left, and every time I tried to take a photo, the light turned green.

When I was almost side by side with the vehicle, I notice a man with white hair inside smiling at me. He was probably laughing at my attempts to take a photo at such a limited visual angle. I kept trying, but wasn’t working.

The guy kept looking at me. He seemed way older than me, so I thought maybe he was one of the band members? I mean, it’s a known fact that there’s many celebrities living in my city.

In spite of getting a semi-descent shot, I gave the guy a smile back and said ‘thank you’.

Second time I was again in the center lane and LZ1 got right in front of me. ‘Yes! Got the shot!’

And now, I wanted to say hi to the guy and hopefully even strike a conversation. Who knows, maybe I’ve been riding next to a music legend and didn’t even know it. Hit it!

 

 

 

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“A good fortune awaits you at the end of this year or the beginning of the next. A good development,” said the spiritual woman. “What type of development?” asked I. “That you will have a job, health, will travel,” replied she.  “That’s having good luck. Some people don’t have a job or might be sick in a hospital. There’s people in this town that just want to run you over.”

“You’re a woman with luck. You didn’t have children because destiny didn’t want you to,” continued she. “We drag with us the last stage we had on earth. There’s people that did bad things in their last one. Now you pay for what you did before. We come to reap what we sow.”

“I see a very good end and start of the new year, said she. “You will remember that I told you so. A good year primarily with health, work, developments, activities.”

“I also see that you’re going to meet a short guy,” continued she. Dammit! She’s referring to a rebound guy I briefly dated that dumped me about a month before this trip. Won’t get into details (that’s for the next story), but will say I did get to tell him how I felt about it all.

“Right now you think about love,” said she. “Yes, because I wish I had someone,” replied I. “There’s one you know that has a light tanned skin. And there’s the older man. I don’t know if this one is blonde or gray haired. They will come to help you ‘trotar en el caballo’ (ride the horse) as some would say,”continued she in a laughing tone. (Ride in what sense? Sound so politically incorrect.)

“I’ve met many men, but none lasts,” said I. “In here nobody cares about anyone. Nobody wants anything with anyone; nobody gives anything to anyone,” said she. (Sad, but true.)

“Like I said, favorable changes come your way towards the end and start of the year,” continued she. “Lots of men.” “Oh, okay…” said I unsure as to whether to feel joy or scared. “That’s good, isn’t it?” asked she laughing again. (I guess so…) “But ‘the one’ won’t happen yet, right?” asked I.

“What I want is to have a home with someone…,” continued I. “Not be alone when you get to be old age. That won’t happen,” said she. “You will have much success, many developments in your life; that’s what the cards are showing. This is how the end of your life will look like. You will achieve what you want,” continued she.

“Instead of lacking one, you will have two,” said she. “What, kids?” asked I. “No, friends. They’re interested in you, but just want to have fun, drink, conversation. (She holds up the two cards with male figures that represents them.) They will give you some distraction and you won’t be alone. There’s one that’s a liar, tells lots of lies,” continued she. (Are we back to my ex-friend who definitely is?)

“All the guys I meet, they tell you lots of stories. They’re with you and then disappear. They end up giving you all these excuses. No one wants to be in a committed relationship,” said I. “No one wants anything with anyone. Nobody wants to be responsible for you. Nobody wants to give you anything. To get something from you or get confortable with, yes, anything else, no,” said she.

“You will be better off next year. It will be an adventurous one,” continued she. “That man with the grey hair, he’s waiting for you. You know his mom who’s from another country.” (Wait, are we talking about my ex-friend and his mother? He’s not old, but the grey hair, excess weight, and else makes him look way older beyond his actual age.)

“That older man, he’s from abroad. This is the one. He has a tanned skin, but not so dark. Has good hair. He’s the one whose got your back. You know him.” continued she. (I do? Does she mean American?) “There’s some older men who want to get comfy with a younger woman. We get to a point in our lives that we open up ‘las tendederas’ (the clothes line; that we put ourselves out there). There will be two guys with you at the same time, the young and the older one.” (Hip hip hooray?)

“And you mentioned that I have a friend who is isolated who will come back. Isolated means that he’s in a bad environment?”, asked I.

“Being isolated is one thing. It means that he’s in a location far from you,” replied she. (That may be so, but truth is he has chosen to isolate and distance himself from those who cared about him and only associates with people that only share his views. And that bitch is in part responsible for it. He’s not in a healthy environment at all.)

“You have thoughts about love. Which one do you love? That one you don’t see? The old one?” asked she.

So confused about who’s who here. I’m not seeing anyone and not interested in seeing my ex-friend again. If it’s someone new, then I will have to wait and ‘see’ what the fuzz is all about.

My bestie believes this guy will one day reappear. She’s willing to listen to him, but I’m not, especially if he comes back looking for us after he breaks up with the bitch. That’s the only way it will happen because he now knows my bestie and I are friends. So that game of lies and playing around with us like he did before is over. Everything now will be under our rules.

The reason why I’m not interested in listening to him is because he always told me that ‘uno no es plato de segunda mesa’ (one is not a second serving table), meaning, no rebound guys, or guys that date and dump you, later wanting to come back with you after they had been with someone else.

My feeling is that if I allow him to talk to me, he might say he was wrong, etc., but will quickly turn things around to blame me for ending the relationship, preach his religious fanaticism and all else, to which I will abruptly end the conversation and block him again.

On the other hand, I might let him. I want him to see that him not wishing me well (or ‘te veo mal’) for not doing what he demanded I should do, including forgiving my ex-husband, has turned out the opposite way: my life became better without you.

I may still be missing a significant other, but have lived life on my own terms, forgiving only myself, and with no regrets. My inner peace has increased and find joy in doing things that challenge me, like traveling to Cuba.

I will tell him, “you’re the one who’s wrong. All that negativity and bad wishes didn’t affect me a bit. I don’t care what you have to say now or later. I don’t need you. Please go away.” I will close the door on him and whatever else that represented this long gone friendship. I will apply to him exactly what he taught me.

I’ve learned my lesson well and will only hope that he does as well.

 

 

 



et cetera