The New M.E. Generation











I started the new year as quiet as possible, meaning, not thinking about the events that occurred previously, to instead focus how I was to move forward without this friendship.

I had made the decision of not calling or texting him any more; with social media, I stopped following him, but didn’t delete him. I know I should have done both since the goal was not to see or read any posts of him with that bitchy woman.

I think the trashiest post from her came when a huge snowstorm hit the area and she wrote, ‘staying home with my hubby doing playful things with him on bed’. Really? Why don’t you invite your female entourage to witness the act so you get more likes? Please, are you that desperate to get recognition from others?

Worst part was that she kept referring to him as ‘her husband’ and he at times to her as ‘my woman’ when they weren’t even married. Between both of them, they kept thanking the One above for getting back together, for making their love flourish again, blah blah blah. (Excuse me, I need to vomit.)

Spoiler alert: according to Catholicism, if you’re living with an ‘unpure’ woman outside the sacred sacrament of marriage, she’s a concubine (a.k.a., a whore). So spare me all these posts in which you’re wrongly using the Lord’s name in vain to not follow his rules, but yours.

It became annoying the repetitive posts through which they were ‘displaying’ this ‘wonderful’ relationship that had re-flourished, as if nothing from the past ever happened. If there were a ‘poster child’ for “dime de qué presumes y te diré de qué careces” (tell me what you’re bragging about and I’ll tell you what you’re lacking), this would be it.

I was in the process of getting all of this guy out of my existence when in late January I get a message from no other but this guy’s former high school girlfriend. Yep, the same one he briefly asked me about the day after the infamous kiss.

“Hey, Emma, don’t know if you remember me. Sorry for contacting you out of nowhere like this. But, have you heard anything from this guy? I haven’t in a few weeks…” said she.

A few weeks? What? OMG! It all suddenly hit me. She is probably the one this guy referred to as the female from the past that ‘don’t know how she found me in social media, but did’, the one who probably he was texting to that last night we were together.

When I told her that I hadn’t communicated with him since Xmas Eve, as well as to the why of my distancing, and she started telling me her version of the events, I was given a dose of reality that was hard to swallow. For example:

-She knew all along about my existence and was happy that this guy and I were traveling together, etc. She would have been delighted (and approve of) if we had become a couple (“Better you than that bitch”, said she).

-She was the one this guy was with when he traveled by road in his car back and forth between where he was living and his mom’s house (at the same times I visited). His story while traveling that ‘I couldn’t answer your call because I hit an area with no signal’ or ‘I checked in at a motel to rest overnight and fell asleep when you called’ were lies.

-When this guy was hitting on me and trying to ‘have some fun’, he managed to take it up a notch with her. Had he done with me, he would have ‘gotten some’ with 2 women in less than 48 hours.

-She was involved with the moving before he left to the Pacific (which he never told me; he only did of his ‘bro’), plus was the one who helped him with the storage space, tickets, etc., with a credit card of hers. That story that he used his own money was also a lie.

-This guy has gone as far as telling her that not only did he wanted to get back with her, but marry as well, when he was telling me that ‘you and I would make a good team’. So what was he trying to do, play us two (and maybe have the bitch on the side) at the same time, without either part finding out? How far was he willing to take this untelling of the truth?

And the list goes on. The more we exchanged emails that day, the more everything started to fall into place, but not exactly making sense. It was that feeling of ‘why me?’, of ‘why did you do this to me?’, of ‘what have I done to you to deserve this?’

This guy was supposed to be my friend, the main male figure in my life that never did me wrong, the one who always lead my way in anything guy related.

So what am I going to do now? Out with the old, in with the new. “Girl, you’re now my new BFF.”

 

 

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{February 8, 2016}   The Ex-Friend 22 – Cold plate

In spite of all my friend’s oddities, I still believed in him and that he would eventually find a way to get his life back on track as he has always proven to do so.

That’s how I was back then, I loved people so much, I overlooked those red flags that were alerting me I needed to handle situations differently.

I gave people endless opportunities because I believed in them, but this same goodness I gave others would be the same one others abused of and eventually lead getting betrayed by them, a hard lesson that I got many times over from those I thought were my friends .

After the birthday incident, he had remaining about 1 more month on his job. From there he had no solid offers, even though he was in conversations with his employers about the possibility of an opening 2 states away from his current location.

I don’t remember the order of the next sequence of events, but the end of the year was coming soon. I do remember that he was with his mom celebrating Christmas and his birthday, which is also in December.

He had told me originally that if I didn’t had plans for New Year’s Eve, to drive to his mom’s and spent it with them. I had told him yes, but he backed down at the last minute, citing that he was still dealing with issues with his ex, and that there could a possibility of working things out, and my presence would dampen that.

I was really upset and had to call on a couple friend of mine that I would always spend this date with, to ask them if they could accommodate me and they did as always.

My then friend showed no emotion to what he did. “If you don’t have where to go, you can come here,” said he when I was still scrambling to find an outfit and a gift for my hosts.

Really? You’re telling me this when this event is happening tonight? You expect me to drive 4 hours if all else fails for me? And you’re trying to do what? Feeling sorry for me for screwing such an important time of the year? Trying to modify your heartless act? What are you taking me for?

After so many times you had told me you tried to fix thing with your ex and she didn’t wanted to and treated you like trash, that she’s a person who is ‘on the devil’s side’ and would talk to you with her fists up in her face ‘ready to strike back’, of whom you have never, ever, mentioned anything positive about, and you’re still hanging on to a ‘possibility’?

You, the one who always said to get rid of people (especially guys) who are worthless or useless, still want something with someone who has proven to be exactly that?

You may be totally immersed in your faith, but you have clearly turned your back to those who really love you. If there were a poster child for love-hate relationships, it would be you.

And I thought I had it bad. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

What an a-hole he was becoming. I don’t think I wished him a happy birthday or new year. But why should I?

“Tú no eres plato de segunda mesa” (you’re not a second plate from a side table) is another quote he would always say.

Fine, I’ll serve it to you straight up: go f— yourself (and that low quality creature). Cheers!



I didn’t give up on my quest of finding a man after this minor incident. It was ironic to think that I wanted to meet a guy contemporary with my age and I was getting messages from 20-somethings as young as 21.

Looking at the ‘Visitors’, some were even as young as 18 and living abroad. Where’s the adult supervision here? For crying out loud, this is a child! Find someone your own age. You have no business in this dating site to begin with.

Let me see what the others look like or have to stay. I know it’s a waste of time even reading the messages. But since I’ve been unlucky with my search, at least feeling flattered for a few minutes it’s worth it.

‘What do you think about dating older men?’ read a message from a 23-year old. Oh, no, here we go again (that’s if I want to).

I checked out his profile and it read that he was doing his post-grad with the goal of becoming a doctor. What, another ‘beach guy’ headed my way? Please universe, not again!

In his main photo he was wearing this huge sunglasses and had very blond hair; bet he’s probably in a fabulous beach. In the second he was abroad. In the third he was shirtless with a beer in his hand, his tongue sticking out, and next to a guy. He was also in great shape and quite tall.

Let me guess, Spring Break with a ‘frat brother’ in Mexico. He definitely knows how to have fun.

I looked at all of them and started remembering my time in college and got mixed feelings. It was good in the sense that I away from home and finally had the opportunity of being myself.

But I didn’t know what I was to do afterwards, mainly because I was in the process of discovering who I was as a person, and had no sense of direction.

It took me a lot of years to get to a place that I was somewhat comfortable with myself and thought I had it all defined when I got married.

The result was that I ended up loosing all that I represented, to the point I was totally clueless about anything when my ‘past life’ ended.

I’ve been regaining my sense of self, esteem, and all that I am about, but have been a long and painful process.

I looked at the photos again and became sad. If I had the chance to go back in time and do it again, would I?

If I could go back to college with the present knowledge I have, yes. Doing it with the ‘blank canvas’ I was, not too sure.

I know that in going back you have your whole life ahead of you, but presently I still have that as well.

So, what am I doing with this one? Am I answering a message of a guy who seems to be the poster child of ‘party central’ or perhaps ‘globe trotter’?

Maybe I should do the same and stick my tongue out at him and this situation.



et cetera