The New M.E. Generation











{February 6, 2017}   The Swipe 20 – The basics

I will be honest with you. This swipe thing has not turned out as I had expected. Quite frankly, I think the experience has been worse than in other years.

Before there used to be a level of intrigue as to what would happen next. Now I seem to be waiting (or expecting) for the punch to happen at any moment. It’s not that I’m being negative or setting myself for failure, but it feels as if guys have ran out of ideas and are recycling their old tricks that once worked for them.

Or it can be that women in general, including myself, have smarten up with experience and years, and now catch almost immediately what motives are behind the guy you’re dealing with. In other words, the element of surprise is way gone in more ways than one.

Take for example the next guy I met online. I was just browsing on the other dating site that have been using, when I notice a message received (the generic ‘you’re pretty; how are you?’).

(Note: if a guy gives you his email or phone number right from the start, because they claim that ‘they’re barely on the site’ and will make it easier for both parts to get acquainted, “run, Forrest, run!” The person is either a cheater or a catfish.)

Yes, it’s generic because all guys will tell you this line to lure you in. But once I go past this part and want to get down to the ugly truth, that’s when their facade falls apart.

The main profile photo of this guy wasn’t bad. He seemed tall and lean, mentioned that was in his late 50’s, and physically didn’t look that intimidating, nor someone I would not consider right from the start. The other images were taken from group photos.

Overall the information seemed to be in place, but there was something off with this person that I couldn’t figure out. Even using my photo ID app didn’t give me any results.

I didn’t reply to his message right away. I wanted to be sure if I was to reply or not, so after much analysis, I instead wrote: ‘How do I know you’re the actual person in the photo?’

The guy, which I will call Kevin, replied: ‘Search this name and you’ll see who I am.’ He gave me the full one and I did that while having lunch.

Because I thought my search would be over rather quickly (meaning I wouldn’t like what I found, to eventually deleting his message), I did so during my lunch break. In other words, I was to dedicate the same amount of time that my food needed to be cooked in the microwave, as finding out who this guy was.

Turns out he was more than the real deal. I came across an article about his father’s passing which talked about the elder’s humble beginnings in the community after relocating from NY.

The father had also opened a spirits store that eventually grew into other locations. Although currently still existing, the company was sold after his death. Even more, the guy’s mother founded a charity that raises funds to support a neonatal intensive care unit at a major local hospital.

Although I did find some personal information about Kevin, like the names and ages of his children, and that he had a brother who is (or was) the CEO in the business, I couldn’t find much about him in the present, so I did another search for his professional and social media profiles.

What I found was that there was no main photo on the work one and it stated that he was no longer involved with the father’s company. It seems that he went from a high-level position, to now being on sales for the competition. This doesn’t sound right.

On his personal profile, there were almost no posts or photos of him throughout the years. His amount of friends wasn’t that big either, which also caught my attention. It looked as bare and boring as the work one.

Worst part was that he kept it public and even went as far as posting his mobile number in response to someone else’s post. I may be tech-challenged at times, but this is internet security basics 101.

I mean, how stupid can you be regarding privacy, especially when you’re probably a public figure?

And like I’ve said before, why bother having profiles if you are not going to keep them up-to-date?

The more I thought about it, the less it made sense. For starters, if you’re part of a well-known and respected family that has allowed you to meet many people, why are you using a dating site? You mean to tell me there’s not a single woman that others could introduce to you or you can meet among your many circle of friends, which I assume you do?

Wouldn’t you be interested in having a relationship with someone that has a similar upbringing, values, religion, and social connections? The norm is that you go for what’s familiar to you, not venture into something that’s totally outside the box, unless that’s what you want.

Why would you want to go for the unknown, when the opportunities to meet someone are most likely to be right in front of you?

And why are things always so complicated with me when it has to do with a guy? Is the universe warning me again way ahead that this will be another failure?

Here comes that old feeling again. It ain’t happening.

 

 

 

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After this incident, I continued using the dating site, but learned not to get excited about anything that might occur in it.

I continued getting messages from guys in their 20’s, 40’s and 50’s. Don’t know why those in the 30’s weren’t happening.

So, again, either they were too young, or those within my age range looked like their shelf life had happened a long time ago.

Still, it didn’t hurt to open the messages and read what was written. I figured out that, if at least I could laugh about it, it could be worth my time.

Take for instance the profile photo of a 21 year old. It was a selfie of him standing sideways without a shirt and the phone covering part of his face. He also had a tattoo on the arm he used to take the shot.

So, you are showing all of your naked torso, but not your whole face? And what do you really want me to look at, the tattoo or your fitted body? Please…

His message read, ‘Wow, hello beautiful. Would love to meet you.’ For what, so you can show me the rest of you (including other art that you may have)? Besides, he lives way out of my area. Not even worth using my gas on that either.

I know I don’t have to reply, but let’s see what happens when I try to scare him away.

‘Thank you for your message, but what is it you are looking to get out of this when I’m old enough to be your mom?’

Lucky me (or not) he was online and didn’t took long to reply. ‘C’mon it could be fun. We could meet for a movie, drinks, or something.’

Yes, fun for you, not so much for me.

I’ll leave it at that. Not going to reply with a ‘no’ when not doing so equals ‘not interested’. I’ll delete the message later.

All right, what’s next? Is there a message from a 30-something?

Let’s check it out then.



et cetera