The New M.E. Generation











I would be lying to you, and myself, if I told you I stopped finding out the whereabouts of this guy through social media. Although I wasn’t ‘following’ him, I still had access to go into his profile and check out what was happening. And if I wanted more details on anything, my bestie was the one to go to for the whole scoop.

You may ask why I do this, considering all that has happened. Sometimes, as much as it may continue to hurt or upset you, you just have to know.

In my case, I try to look at things and find a humorous side (there’s one if you try hard enough, trust me), to remind myself that not having this guy in my life is the best, even if you don’t know all the reasons why just yet.

Take for example the time this guy and the bitch took a trip to NYC. The posts started way before they entered the city by car, including taking photos of idiotic things such as exit signs and writing even more moronic captions (“we’re about to get there” or “here we come”).

It got even worse when they took one of those ferry boats that people use to commute from one side of Manhattan to the other. This guy posted, “honey, here’s our ‘cruise'”. WTF? What do you mean with the quotation marks? Close but no cigar? That you don’t have money for the real thing, so you had to settle for ‘la lancha de Cataño’?

I was laughing so much, I took a screen shot of it and send it to my BFF. It was one of those moments that you can’t control your laughter and almost cry as well. She and I exchanged every humorous emoticon we had and kept making fun of it like little girls in school sharing gossip.

I then saw that they went to see a baseball game and were posting more photos of them pretending to be the happiest couple in the world. His captions read, ‘thank you to the baseball team at (the last state he lived, where he used to take part in their softball team) for the tickets.’

“Those tickets weren’t free,” said my bestie. “He keeps boasting about things other people give him, but there’s always some cost involved. He just wants to come across as having all these friends that supposedly love and care for him, when in reality many of them have turned against him by his own fault.”

“So the airline tickets are the same thing?” asked I.

“Of course! How it goes is that his ‘bro’ is allowed an amount of airline flight vouchers for friends and family. When someone wants to use one, the friend has to submit the request to his employer and the price as an employee is charged to him. Then the person who’s using the ticket reimburses you. That’s why you have to fly on standby,” continued she.

“I don’t remember him telling me that he had to pay. No wonder he spoke so highly of his ‘bro’ so much,” said I.

“I feel sorry for that ‘bro’ of his. He’s a good person, but unfortunately controlled and manipulated by this other guy. He’s using the ‘bro’ to get what he needs for himself and that bitch, but I’m sure he owes him a lot for those tickets. And I wouldn’t be surprised either that the ‘bro’ has lent him money as well,” continued she.

“You’re right; I never thought about that. I always wondered how he managed to pay for them when he has been without a job. Can’t believe how foolish I am,” said I.

“That’s the thing; the ‘bro’ puts up with him and helps him because, unfortunately, he doesn’t have that many friends, a wife or family to account for. This guy should count his blessings, ’cause you never know when his ‘bro’ turns around and demands payment,” said she.

“I remember the story that this guy would tell his ‘bro’ that he needed to change his work schedule from working nights and getting 3 days off, to something normal like most people do, if he wants to meet someone. Well, that’s what he said,” continued I.

“I think that situation is true; the ‘bro’ has no reasons for fabricating stories. He’s a good person, but someone who doesn’t see farther from what’s there in front of him,” said she.

“I wouldn’t feel good about myself owing money to you and his ‘bro’. Wow, he has really managed to get what he wants, either emotionally, financially, or whatever else, to later act like he doesn’t owe people anything,” said I.

“Yep; worst part is he always said that the bitch ‘le debe dinero a las mil vírgenes’ (she owes money to all the thousands of saints). But, like him, is trying to make everyone believe that their relationship is so great. Bah!

Just look at him up close; he’s fat, looks old and bloated. The clothes, I’ve seen him wearing them and he keeps using them over and over. She, please, looking cheap as always, plus overweight.

When I was with him, he didn’t have much money, but his clothes always looked impecable. He also watched his weight and exercised. He looked real nice. When you make a comparison, he’s not even a shadow of what I used to know,” said she.

True that. It thought I would get sad, but instead laughed slightly and looked up. Yes, people change and not always for the best. And put themselves in situations that makes others laugh at you and not with you.

It’s like when you play baseball. You stand at home plate and decide whether to take a swing at the ball or not. Maybe you hit it the right way and sometimes you hit people in the wrong place. You may argue that you’re having bad luck in the game of life, but in the long run, people will ultimately realize that you’re bluffing and just want to ‘steal the bases’ for your own good.

 



The next day at work on a Friday I started thinking about how the situation had unfolded the day before.

I know I did the right thing by turning him down, but I also realized this was probably the last chance of ever seeing him again face to face.

Reality is, the only way to ever finalize the past and present was to confront him and all my emotions.

So, if getting to where he will be is not an option, how about telling him to make a first stop on my end, and then later he continues to his final destination?

‘Hey, I was thinking, how about if you came over first, maybe have some dinner, and then you go?’ text I.

It didn’t take long for him to reply. ‘I thought I needed to resolve my issues with my girlfriend,’ replied he.

‘I know, but this will probably be the last chance we have of seeing each other,’ said I.

‘Yeah, I could do that,’ said he. ‘What time do you get out of work?’

‘No later than 6:30 p.m. What time would you get here?’

‘Around 8:30-9 p.m. Text me your address so I can set it on my GPS.’

It was only about 12 p.m., so it meant he was to leave around 4 p.m. if he wanted to avoid Friday’s traffic jam, especially coming into my city.

I asked him to text me once he was on the road and subsequent locations as his trip advanced.

I kept on working as usual until around 4 p.m. when the local weather decided to work against me when it delivered massive amounts of rain.

It got so dark it looked like it was late at night. Damn, now this means traffic is really going to get bad for me and (hopefully not) for him.

I hurried to finish my work on time and rushed out the door at my usual leave time. The rain had stopped and everyone driving were doing the ‘are we there yet?’.

My plan was to get home, shower and wear something appropriate for the occasion or, better yet, something that really represented who I was and not what he probably still has stuck on his mind about me.

So, what’s is it going to be? How about high school sweetheart turned prom queen diva? Yeah, it’s personal and I’ve got the clothes and shoes to make it happen.



It’s been a while since I last spoke with Ivan, so I decided to give him a call.

I know it’s basically a waste of time with him. He’s another one of those whom I call and never answers it, no matter what time I do.

Most of the time he eventually calls back, but when he does, he’s either in a relationship or out of it, swearing to me he doesn’t want to be with anyone, period.

He always says he will call me to have a drink, just as friends, which he has been telling me since forever.
Reality is he stays single for a while, but when he starts feeling alone, he gets involved with someone, even when knowing he’s not ready for it.

Then the relationship gets really complicated, like cheating, nasty break-ups, reconciliations, more break-ups, and so on until it finally ends worst than the sinking of the Titanic.

Yep, he’s one of those people that are attracted to melodrama and disfunctionality. Hey, I may have been full of that at another time in my life, but if we had gotten involved romantically, I’m sure it would have progressed in a more civilized manner.

The other sad part about him is that I’ve offered my friendship to him repeatedly, but he doesn’t take it.

He’s the type of person that surrounds itself with bad vibe that doesn’t allow him to get beyond that negative funk he’s stuck at. It’s like he actually enjoys being in that mode.

Again, my life is not any better than many, but it sure is way more than his, that is, emotionally. And I bet you I’m one of the few, maybe the only, who is willing to be a true companion to him with no expectations.

Even sadder, I think he’s genuinely a good person and deserves better. But this is how he’s handling his romances when he knows damn well they’re a disaster and needs to correct this behavior.

I won’t deny feeling sorry for him, but when I compare his relationships to my current state of affairs (or lack of thereof), I actually feel good about myself.

I do get frustrated for not having a relationship all these past years and that most guys met have been almost not worth my efforts, but I’ve certainly evolved (a lot!), and feel closer every day of reaching that much needed maturity that will allow me to have a successful relationship.

It has been a crazy ride, but the final destination doesn’t feel that distant away any longer.



I suggested we went to the restaurant on my car using the reason that I knew how to get there easily.

Reality was I still wanted to be in the ‘driver’s seat’ of controlling the situation. Plus, after his never-ending travel to my place, I just wanted to get to the location quickly and finish the night the same way.

We got there within a few minutes and got some wine. I, again, was facing him forward and kept my serious demeanor at all times.

He started talking about pretty much what we did way back on our first date, especially on the ‘I can’t believe my friend didn’t tell me about you’ topic, and I realized this was going to be a long evening.

“Listen,” said I, “if it is beyond your believe that he never told you about me, why don’t you call him and complain to him directly?”

That threw him off guard completely. Seriously, dude, enough with your whining already. I’ll tell you why he probably didn’t tell you; you’re annoying!

When he realized I wasn’t into discussing that topic, he kept on with other ones from before, but between the drink and meal, I simply tuned out the conversation. I managed to do that so well I can’t recall any of it.

And, just when I thought the dinner had some time left to finish, turns out the people sitting at the table next to us were from the same hometown, and off he was talking to them.

“Well, hey,” said he, “you probably knew (name), he was my uncle! Man, I loved that guy!”

Where does this come from? I knew who that person was. He was a very well known public figure that became famous on a national level when people from home were starting to make a presence in it.

Unfortunately he passed away rather quickly about 15 years ago and it was a big blow for everyone. He was very close to him and the drinking surely brought back memories of the times they shared together.

The people at the other table didn’t pay much attention into that so he kept talking about it with me. Although I admired his uncle, I wasn’t much into listening about him, but at least it was a change of topics that didn’t include me, his friend, or anything else I’ve already heard far too many times.

He kept on going until, to my luck, we finished dinner, the wine and anything else he wanted to say.

Time to move on = ‘check please!’



I was glancing through the list of possible date candidates that I receive daily via email, when…(whoa!), is that him?

I quickly opened his profile and, sure enough, it was he. He still had some photos that I remember seeing when I first met him plus some new ones.

Those others showed a much happier person and I was glad. It has been a few years and by this time I’m sure he had achieved getting his medical license and taking care of other aspects of his life.

I enjoyed looking at his pictures, but having an active profile also meant he was still single all together. So maybe I wasn’t that wrong in my opinion when we knew each other.

Reality is, it’s been that long since we last spoke that it doesn’t matter now. The present does.

I kept looking at his profile and pictures, and decided to send him an email. He looked that he was in a good place so contacting him didn’t felt like a bad idea.

What’s the worst that could happen? That he deletes it and/or never replies to it? Probably.

All right, here I go.

‘Hey, how are you? I accidentally came across your profile and from the look of your pictures I can tell that life is good for you.

I know things between us didn’t end in a good way, but please know that I only wish the best for you.’

I was nervous hitting the ‘send’ button. What I said was to the point, but how will he take it? Just do it. (Done.)



I woke up the next day feeling very upset about what happened last night. For being just 23, he was surely a handful, and definitely one I didn’t want to be associated with this way.

I took my time to wake up and do what I usually do on weekends. I needed to go through my routine before I called him. I had to calm down or otherwise I would knock him hard over the phone line.

I only needed to tell him that I was very upset for him naming me a bitch, and for repeatedly calling when I didn’t wanted to talk to him.

He will probably not answer the phone, but I will still leave him a message. To my surprise, he did pick up my call.

“Hey, what’s up?” said I in a ‘we need to talk’ mode. His tone of voice was more of, ‘am I in trouble?’ and of not totally sure what the nature of my call was.

“You know,” said I, “you were very rude for calling me a bitch last night.”

“I said that to you? I don’t recall; sorry.”

“Obviously, especially when you kept calling me and I wouldn’t pick up my phone.”

“Again, sorry. I hope I can make it up to you.”

“For now, let’s keep it this way. It’s going to take me some time to get pass this.”

Reality is, I don’t know if I want to get pass this. Dealing with a twenty-something who’s behaving more like 13 doesn’t interest me at all.

Maybe he’ll feel so bad today that he will realize it’s better just to leave me alone. It’s the best grown-up thing he could do.



“What’s wrong Dina?”

“That guy’s 30 years old. He’s too young for me.”

“No you’re not. You’re in your early 30’s, so it’s fine.”

“No it’s more like a little bit over the mid number.” (Oops! Has it been that long since we became friends? Oh yes it has!)

“I still think it’s not such a big issue. Had he become interested in me, then that would have been a concerning matter.”

“I was thinking he would be more suited for my sister.”

“Forget your sister! I you keep passing on these opportunities, you know what, one day there will be no more.

You and I have something in common. We want to have a man in our lives, but we are also avoiding getting involved so we don’t get hurt.

What will happen is that the years will come and go, and we’re going to find ourselves sitting right here where we are right now, wondering what the heck happened. And the reality is, it will be all our fault.”

Dina doesn’t say anything, but by the look on her face she knew I was saying the hard truth.

“Do me a favor,” I said to Dina, “if this guy calls, please answer the phone.”

“I’m not sure…”

“I’m not saying to get in his car or meet him somewhere by yourself. I’m saying to maybe you and I meeting up with him and his friends, which is totally a safe scenario.

Even better, I could get a hold of Brian and we could do a double date. How about that?”

Dina continues to be silent and not that all convinced. Aargh! What is it going to take to put some sense in this woman’s head?

“Listen, I think he’s a descent guy and you should give yourself this chance. What have you got to loose?”

Dina’s face remains unchanged.

“OK, I may not be the best person to dispense this advice, especially considering all the guys I met post ‘past life’ are all ‘MIA’s.’ But, hey, I don’t regret it.

In a certain manner it has made my present life interesting. But it was as the result of me giving myself that chance of living those experiences. And I think you should too. You deserve it,” I concluded.

We finally decided to wrap up for the night. Dina may have listened to my words, but I know she didn’t listen to me. The result of this night will be as always. Nothing will happen or change.

Trust me on this one.



et cetera