The New M.E. Generation

{October 3, 2016}   The Swipe 2 – The Fish

I kept swiping left and right without any luck yet, until I see a photo of a guy (who I will name Fish) that really caught my attention.

‘OMG!’ I thought to myself. ‘This guy attended the same college I did during the time I was there. Wow. I don’t recall knowing him, but at least it’s to my advantage having something in common. It’s a perfect conversation starter. Hopefully he has swiped right for me. Yes, he did!’

I immediately sent him a message highlighting the school aspect and that we needed to talk about it. I wanted to say ‘meet’, but I didn’t want to come across as desperate.

I checked out his photos and liked that he appeared in different ones, like with family (dancing with a young woman at a party while wearing a nice suit), dressed in a Halloween costume (Fred Flintstone), him running in mud (probably participating in some extreme sport event).

Although the age had changed in these images, he still had a nice face and body for being in his late 40’s, which was good for me, as I like guys who take care of themselves.

His location was still far from mine (about a 2-hour drive), but I kept reminding myself that I needed to keep an open mind.

Through our conversation I learned that he was originally from the Northeast and relocated with his then wife and daughters (he has 2) after getting a job offer (he works in marketing) down here, which also allowed him to escape the nasty winters. He also likes to exercise by running and going to the gym.

I didn’t ask him how long he has been divorced for (I want to keep that topic out just yet) and is in the routine of sharing time with his children every other weekend.

I continued the chat for a bit longer until I thought it was time to ask the main question: should I get his number or should I give mine first? Email perhaps? I said to myself that if I was to do this, I was to do it right.

I decided to ask him for his info. That way I can see how he reacts. If he gives me the run around, or notice any ‘red flags’, then I know that he is lying to me.

‘So how do you want to do this? Exchange emails?’ asked I via text. He replied by giving me his number. OK, all seems fine so far.

The next step was to check his number online and it confirmed that it was indeed him. I also got his last name and social media profile.

The profile had additional photos besides the ones on the app and all seemed under control. He appeared with other photos with his daughters, which made me understand he is a devoted father. The girls looked like they have been raised well, so that was another bonus point for him.

I checked everything that I had access to. He was the real person indeed, but wanted to gather as much other information about him as I could.

I was excited that I just joined a dating app and got a result that seemed worthwhile. It made me believe that these type of sites could actually turn out good.

So, I got his number. What am I going to do now? Of course I will call him. Question now is when would be the right time. Tonight? During the week? Weekend? Heck, I don’t know. ‘There’s never a right time.’ ‘The time is now.’ ‘Just go for it.’ Which will I choose?

Technology may have been created to make our lives easier, but when it comes to love, reality is that you can’t reboot or update it. It will always be scary, confusing, and most often, heartbreaking.

Making ‘the right call’ will always be difficult to do.

I never called Christian again and neither did he. I didn’t see the point of doing so and I just knew he probably felt the same way about it.

I don’t know what happened; maybe it had to do with the storm or the other ‘red flags’ that got raised before the beach day. It all seems to indicate that no matter how much effort would have been invested by both sides, it was always meant to be doomed.

I felt like talking to Dina to vent my feelings, but I think what needed to be said about this situation was discussed in our last conversation.

But I still wanted to call her. I was curious to know if anything turned out with ‘the hand at the thigh guy.’

“No, he’s out of the picture,” said she. “He called me one day saying he wanted to be clear on what was happening between us. I told him that, as far as I knew, we were only friends.

That we had gone on bicycle rides or visited each other’s place to watch a movie, but that was it. There was no seriousness of anything in this.

Turns out that an old girlfriend of his was coming to town and he wanted to be sure there were no ‘ties’ here. What he really wanted was to ‘be cleared out’ so he could have all the freedom in the world to do whatever he wanted.

“So in the end he turned out to be a jerk.”

“Nah, I learned pretty quickly when I met him that he was not ‘boyfriend material’. That’s why I never got emotional with him. But, he totally blew it with the call though.”

“Can’t believe that the two guys we met at the bar are out of our lives. It’s almost like being jinxed.”

“Whatever, I’m used to it.”

“Yeah, but it’s kind of sad that we’re still alone.”

“True, but I’ve learned not to let it affect me. If there is a guy out there for us, it will happen.”

‘Yeah but when?’ I thought to myself.

I’m really, really scared that I’ll end up single for good. I’ll try to do like Dina of not letting it get to me.

But there’s as far as one can go. As much as I might be able to do like her, looks to me like it’s going to be a very lonely road ahead.

Hope not.

et cetera