The New M.E. Generation











After dinner I let my friend drive back. It definitely had been a long, productive day, and never short of drama.

After this weekend, what I believe happened was that on my actual birthday date, I didn’t get a call or message from his, which was strange. He had always been the first for those outside my family.

It got to a point late in the day that I text him, saying, “Hey, you totally forgot my birthday!” After no response, also not the norm, I called him.

“What happened? You totally forgot about me!” said I.

“I was waiting until I was unoccupied so I could talk to you without rushing it,” replied he.

What he meant was that after finishing work, he went straight to church, then home. He took care of his things first and he basically communicated to me that I wasn’t that important any more.

He was definitely getting even weirder by the day, especially when his job was about 2 months away from ending and had nothing lined up next.

The church thing was happening every day, spending to at least 4 hours either praying or meeting with some church group he had become part of. Every time I called him, he wouldn’t answer the call and would quickly reply with a text that read “Church” with an emoticon of two hands together in prayer.

If I were lucky to talk to him late at night, he would say, “I go to church because I have nothing else to do after work.”

Really? He used to take long walks to exercise and we would talk on the phone while at that. Or he would cook himself dinner. He was available to me and we always had something to talk about.

All I was hearing now was, “I’m praying so much on my knees, they’re starting to peel,” or “the only people that I have in this life is God, my mom and you,” or “I know God will lead me into the right path.”

I supported his ‘faithfulness’, but the repetition of actions and words started feeling monotonous, as if he was stuck in a place he really didn’t wanted to move away from.

He needed to find a new job, but wanted to stay with the current employer so not to lose his seniority. Fine, but if that option doesn’t work, you have to have other options, which I don’t think he wasn’t pursuing much.

He going to church made him a person that only socialized with other who shared his mentality, thus isolating himself from the ‘real world’. His attitude that ‘God is on my side’ was becoming arrogant and that ‘the one above’ was he towards others.

He started criticizing my way of being, claiming I didn’t had a man in my life because I hadn’t forgiven my ex and if I disapproved, he would retaliate very nasty. His response towards me was, “pues te veo mal” (things won’t go well with you).

As time progressed, the arguments increased. I kept telling him that my whole life had been about pleasing others or doing what was expected of me, and when I yelled out my frustration, people would say I had an attitude problem and label me a bitch. Others would be happy, but didn’t care I wasn’t. My friend became one of those persons.

And regarding forgiveness, I told him that was my prerogative to do or not, that I did that so many times and my ex was so unappreciated about it that I stopped doing it because he didn’t deserve it.

I was now standing for myself, something my friend had always told me I needed to do, and now he was mad I was applying what he taught me to him.

My friend became bitter and non-negotiable on anything, displaying lots of anger in his nasty voice. You could feel this heavy, negative energy on the phone. He may have been praying plenty, but he was now the embodiment of a true devil.

I think what became the problem was that for the first time in his life, he had lost control. Nothing was happening as he wanted, even if he worked on it. He didn’t have job offers, he never got over his breakup, and I wasn’t doing what he told me to do.

Even with the help of a professional, he now struggled with depression and was still obsessed that his ex had to change.

He was acting towards me like the ‘big brother’ character instead of the older brother figure he had always been. His religious fanatic tactic of spreading fear wasn’t affecting me and he resented that.

He was hiding behind his beliefs and blaming others for his outcome. He may have thought he was set to go when the end of the world happened, but instead it was ‘highway to hell’ with him.

You see my then friend, you forgot that you gave me the wings to fly, and I’m soaring high to my own happy place and more. And I’m at peace with that. About time already.

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A few days later after getting this lousy call, I was still upset. It was bringing out some old feelings that I’ve worked so hard to overcome.

Plus, I have lost so much with my divorce and my friend was someone I was not willing to lose, even less for that bitch. My friend always said to me that ‘there would be nothing that would break our friendship apart’ and that he told her that if she wanted to be with him, she had to accept the fact that I would always be in his life. If she or any other woman didn’t like it, then it was time for her to go.

I appreciated his loyalty to me, but I knew things are easier said than done. My ‘x’ had expressed his discontent about him when married and although I knew things weren’t good, after you invest so much time and emotions, it’s not that easy to end a relationship.

More especially so of my friend, who had never had a relationship until now, knowing he would go as far as he could to make it work; failure wasn’t an option for him.

And as my mom has always said, ‘there are women that would do any business to have a man next to them’, which in this case was applying right on target with the bitch.

My friend called me and apologized about the incident. He said that she had complained about my constant calling (which wasn’t true) and that she didn’t like it. She went as far as spying on my friend’s phone and monitoring all incoming texts and messages whenever he unattended his device.

He said he wasn’t giving up my friendship and if she dared call me after his warning, there would be a major problem between them. The relationship was in really bad shape and he didn’t know how things would end.

From the conversation that we had, it seems this would be the last I would hear from this bitch. I trusted my then friend would do the right thing.

If you’re wondering about Madeline, after her Europe trip, she went to live with her mother back home. Eventually she made her way back to my city and came over to visit me.

She cooked for both of us and while eating, she shared a video of her from back home where she got baptized in a river in the interior of the island.

I watched it and had no words to say about it. I knew she had wanted to embrace Christianity, but this was something she could have done where she was living and working before.

I kept thinking what my friend said about not doing something to an extreme and this was one of them.

I was attending church, but wasn’t letting my involvement take over my whole life like she let it happen.

I looked at her and wondered how she, the one I always considered the strongest of the two, be consumed by this.

I was the one who have been down, vulnerable, confused, insecure. How was it possible then that I didn’t fall for a behavior that misled me from the right path?

Why was I feeling unsure about my two best friends that their lives were heading in the wrong direction?

I couldn’t understand why they were behaving this way when they had always taught me the opposite, but from where I was sitting, my life for the first time in a while didn’t seem so bad.

I guess that’s what it means when ‘divine intervention works in mysterious ways’.



et cetera