The New M.E. Generation











After this second meltdown, life went back as usual. This guy eventually bought an apartment walking distance from his father’s pharmacy. He eventually landed a full-time with a major airline, but it was the night shift. He wasn’t excited about it, but knew that if he wanted to get anywhere with his career, he had to.

I remember he telling me that he would finish work early morning, had breakfast at the airport cafeteria waiting for traffic to calm down, drive home, close the curtains and sleep all day. Days off were for running errands.

If I wanted to talk to him, would leave a message at home. His work was on the ground with airplanes, so calling him wasn’t an option. And as my studies, work and relationship continued, the less we talked, but we handled it the best possible.

A year later of being with my then ‘x’, we got engaged. I truly don’t remember how I told this guy or his reaction. Of all moments shared this is a blank space.

Fast forward 5 months to my wedding and this guy still hadn’t confirmed his attendance. I think he never did or bought me a gift.

Maybe he wasn’t happy for my marriage because he knew he had lost me as a possible companion. All I remember is that he showed up late to the reception when it was almost over.

I hugged him and was happy that he saw me in my wedding dress and in this new stage in my life. But now looking back, he didn’t look as excited as I was. He congratulated me in a serious tone, we talked for a few and I think that was it.

Now thinking about this, it was disappointing that he couldn’t get his things in order to attend this event. I know he worked, but how much effort does it take to have left work early?

Had it been the other way around, I wouldn’t have missed this for anything. I would have been the first to arrive and last to leave.

I remember that week there was a pilots’ strike in the airline he was working for, creating a logistics nightmare for all flights and people directly involved with the airplanes, such as him. But he never communicated this to me or that his attendance might not happen.

What this all needed was just a simple phone call. I would have been sad, but would have understood. But keeping quiet makes you look bad, especially coming from someone who never overlooked these details. He was the type of person that no matter how complicated things were, he would meet up to his responsibilities with himself, work and others.

The more I think about, the more upset I am, mostly with myself. I used to give people so many chances for situations that I wasn’t content about. But that’s how I was and tend to be at times, I overlook the negative because I believe in people.

But unfortunately, the more chances you sometimes give to others, the more they keep disappointing you. In the long run they think you will always give them a break, no matter what, and instead of one feeling appreciated, you feel you’ve been ‘thrown under the airplane’.

Interestingly enough, a situation many years later would correlate with this one in a role reversal. But this time around, the outcome would have devastating results.

Let’s say it was one of apocalyptic proportions that shook my inner core like thunder from the sky would do when it hits you. But unlike lightning, I didn’t see it coming.

But, what can you do? Only to wait for the storm to pass or perhaps that it deviates and hit the person back. Hey, maybe that’s what ‘lightning strikes twice’ means.

Advertisements


The rest of my Spring Break went great. He took me everywhere, even to places that you had to drive some. But it was worth it.

Like my father would say to me many years later, ‘you never know what places you will have a chance to go to that you might not return, so take it as an adventure when you do.’ I loved all cities I visited and put it in my bucket list to return one day.

I did visit my friend one more time before he completed his studies. He really dedicated his efforts in his career; he was doing 1-2 summer sessions, and eventually some graduate courses.

I remember he telling me how some classes was done ‘in the field’ or outside the classroom with the airplanes. The summer heat and rain were memorable, so all students and classes had to start on time. By no later than 11am the weather would get very bad and everyone had to leave the area.

The second time I visited and he picked me up at the airport was as great as the first time, except I was older and almost out of school, meaning my uncertainties about the future were already looming over me.

“So, what do you want to do?” asked he when I got into the car.

“I want to buy a bathing suit. Take me to a good mall,” replied I.

My friend got surprised. He probably thought I wanted to have a drink or something. He took me to a great one and I walked in to the first bathing suit store I saw.

I was determined to buy a bikini, don’t know why because my weight wasn’t exactly how I wanted it to be. I don’t think I was that overweight, but as a woman it was an issue that always lingered.

In the store I found one with red, black and white colors. I walked outside the dressing room to show him and get his opinion. “What do you think?” asked I in a serious tone like, ‘tell me the truth.’

My friend’s eyes and mouth opened wide. I couldn’t decipher if it was good or bad. “Aaaah… I think it looks good on you…,” said he in a tone that made me believe he didn’t want me to feel bad about my body.

“Be honest with me. We’ve always been that to each other, even if we don’t want to hear it.”

“Truth is, I’ve never seen you before in a bathing suit.”

What? How is it possible to have been living in a Caribbean island and friends since our early teens, and never spent time under the sun?

“We’ve never been together at the beach?? Not even at the school’s Junior/Senior picnic?’ asked I.

“I didn’t go because of what happened during my Senior year. I wasn’t into being there.”

The more I tried to remember, the more I realized that of all things we did back home this wasn’t one of them. And during the Spring Break week, I was covering my top with a college t-shirt, so he didn’t get a full view of me.

Now thinking back on it, it was contradictory in a way that we had emotionally shared so much, and in the physical it only went as far as the kiss and sharing a bed. I even believed he saw me in my underwear, so why the reaction in the suit?

I would feel at ease at all moments with him because I trusted he would never hurt me. And even him being a guy (who tend to be more liberal), also kept his privacy (including the bathroom door closed) when I visited him.

I realized that as much ‘open’ I thought we had been, we have closely guarded the outer shell that we present to the world and each other.

So how do you then define what we have? I don’t know, but when it comes to people, for sure there’s more than meets the eye.



I kept waiting for this guy to emerge to the point I got really upset with him and just wanted him not to show up at all. And just when I was thinking this, sure enough, he appeared, with some ‘baggage’.

“Hey girl, what’s happening?” said he.

He was sort of loud, still very hyper, and sporting a very awkward looking jacket. No, this is not the ‘baggage’ I was referring to.

He made a stop somewhere and bought a bottle of white wine, which was placed in a bag. ‘Taking care of something’ was taken care of.

“Fine, you finally made it. Thanks for the gift.” (Not really, especially when you don’t need more of it.) I placed it on the fridge while he checked out my apartment until he ended standing on my balcony.

“Well, hey, yeah, what’s up with this place? Why did you moved so far out here? How much are you paying?”

(Here we go again.) “I’m not getting into that now,” said I in serious tone. (In other words, it’s none of your business.)

We eventually sat down and I served myself some wine. He didn’t which allowed him to mellow somewhat and me keep my cool knowing anything could come out of him.

While trying to have a conversation, I kept a close eye on him, especially on that jacket. What was he thinking when he bought it? I don’t think it was a ‘hand me down’, but if he wears it all the time, now I know why he’s not a hit with the women (beside his personality).

So, what happens next now that he finally landed?



et cetera