The New M.E. Generation

‘I’m really sorry for what’s happening to you,’ wrote I. ‘I’ve been through it and it’s a difficult process. Is there any chance for the two of you of turning things around with some professional help or something?’

‘No, we’ve tried everything. A divorce is definite. My kids are taking it well. She has moved on with her life already,’ responded he.

Ouch! That’s the same thing my ‘x’ said when he left me. He stated that he had restarted his life and was already dating. He said it with such confidence it made me very upset because he probably was in this ‘singlehood’ thing way before he made his decision.

Reading my friend’s message didn’t open old wounds, but shocked me again how easy it is for other people to end relationships and live ‘la vida loca’ without any remorse. They don’t care about others or the consequences that will bring to them or close ones.

They only think about themselves because they don’t put their emotions into this. It’s not about love; it’s about winning, getting what they want, even if it means running people over.

I may sound judgmental towards a person I’ve never met, but with my experience, I bet you that I’m so right.

So, what am I thinking (or feeling) about his whole situation? I hate to say it, but I’m sort of ‘happy’ that he may become single.

I know it’s not right to feel this way towards others’ misfortune. But after what the ‘beach guy’ and I shared in the past it’s still lingering within me, as there’s something there that needs to be resolved.

What I’m thinking (not feeling) is that perhaps the universe is shuffling things around for this to happen.

If it does, what would I feel then?

I’m so excited about ‘third connection.’ His email was brief in the line of ‘remember me from school?’, ‘hope you are doing well,’ and ‘look forward in getting a response from you.’

I replied with a summary of all I remembered from him at school, plus a summary of my life post-college, marriage and singlehood. I also attached a few pictures of me.

He replied, “Sorry about what happened to you. You are the last person I would have thought would end up like you did. At school you were always friendly with everyone with a perky attitude. You smiling in those pictures, is how I remember you to be.”

He’s right. I was always smiling in school no matter what I was going through. And believe me, I had some difficult times there and truly later on as married. But somewhere along the line, I lost that smile that was so unique of me. I lost the drive to live, and everything that I represented.

I looked at the pictures I sent him and some of those college days. My smile now is very close to that back then.

‘Third connection’ was a blessing. It made me realize there’s still some work for me to do to fully get back to my signature smile.

Well, I’m doing that right now, smiling. I guess it’s working.


et cetera