The New M.E. Generation











It has been a few weeks since the ‘beach guy’ resurfaced, so I was curious about him. I know his last text message had ‘booty call’ written all over it and that our last chatting some 2 years ago ended badly, but that’s the way I am. For me, there’s always something underlying here that I want to find out.

I know his behavior proved he’s still the same guy I remember from school, but you always wonder if even a slight behavior modification has occurred.

So I texted him ‘So what’s up with you?’ and waited for an answer. He replied a couple of hours later, stating that he was dealing with a cardio patient in a clinic in Ohio.

After the small talk exchange from both sides was done, he then said: “Well I’m sorry I missed you last time I was there.”

Me: “Next time tell me in advance and it might happen.”

Him: “Well it was a last minute trip. That’s how they usually are.”

Yep, still the same. Felt like saying, “Whatever. You couldn’t even call or text me during your 3+ hours drive that you were headed my way?” But I was in no mood to engage in a new ‘war of words’ that would lead to the same “I’m done” as before. So I didn’t comment on that.

Him: “What might happen 🙂 See you?”

Me: “Yeah if I can meet up with you.”

Him: “Awesome.”

OMG, what’s wrong with this guy? It’s obvious that if he continues to drop by unannounced and giving me a very small window of time to react, I will continue to decline his invitation. “Más claro no canta un gallo.”

The next day in the evening, we again exchanged some more random conversation. Around 10:30pm he sends me a selfie of his face, taken while lying down on the bed. ‘Man, you look old!’ was my first thought.

His facial expression was one I couldn’t quite figure out (so typical of him). Besides showing a serious tone, it was part ‘sleepy’, to perhaps ‘want to join me?’, to ‘like what you see?’, to ‘I want to say something nice to you, but will never tell’, to ‘I was an idiot letting you go’. I know I could have asked him his thoughts, but since he’s hard to decipher, I again left it at that.

I then debated if I should do the same about the selfie. Thought ‘why not?’ and sent it, but I was smiling in it.

Him: “You are so pretty as always.”

Wow, that comment really took me back to the past, when one day he would be super nice to me at the beach, giving me the illusion that he was into me, to then ignoring me completely at school, making me feel rejected and confused. I replied only with ‘Thanks’.

Have to admit that it moved me. It has been a while since any guy have said anything nice to me (the closest is LZ1 – see the Road Less Traveled story). And with all I’ve gone through, it surely made my night.

But thought what I should have really told him was “if you like what you see, you should put a ring on it”, as in ‘here’s your chance now’.

But that’s something I will probably never get to see, unless he’s waiting for me to do that. I mean, I was the one who invited him to come my way multiple times with no success. Hmm, that’s probably because he’s seeing somebody.

Got to get an update on this before I make my next move (or not)!

 

 

 



About half an hour later after getting to work, I get a text from him.

Him: “Good morning again lol!”

Me: “Good morning Mr. LedZep1.”

Him: “Ha! You know how long I’ve had that plate? Over 30 years!”

We exchanged a few more messages that provided some interesting data, like he lives and works in locations not that far from mine; speaks Spanish among other languages; owns his own company; expressed having a sense of humor, which I think of myself as well. I was glad that I finally met someone who is close in proximity and has something in common with me.

I avoided asking for other details, such as his company or last name. He didn’t ask for mine. At this stage is too early for that.

Before going to sleep, I texted him ‘good night’;  he replied with ‘Hi, same to you. Will look out for you on the road tomorrow, LOL’, to which I said ‘me too’ with a car emoticon.

I couldn’t rest immediately because my mind was digesting all the events of the day. I also connected with my spiritual side and thought to myself, ‘I have to handle this very carefully. Will keep this low key for now. No calls or mentioning about meeting. Let him reach out to me if interested.’

I did a mental review of what my besties have told me: avoid having expectations or doing anything that will get you hurt unnecessarily. Last thought was directed to the universe: ‘it will be what you believe it’s best for me’.

The next day set the tone for our morning commutes. Whoever got on the road first texted the other with their location. It felt like playing a Super Mario game where you’re looking which path to take to catch the fruits.

Turns out we’ve been missing each other by roughly 5 minutes most of the time, which created many texts like, ‘looking for cars like yours, LOL’, ‘center lane on 27th; you?’, ‘damn I missed you’, ‘wished I’d seen you’.

To compensate for not crossing paths, I take selfies and send them to him. He usually sends back one of himself, the view from his office, or whatever he’s having for lunch. He has also asked those ‘small talk’ questions, such as what I like to do for fun, hobbies, family background, etc.

I use one-word answers because I don’t want to give it all away; he provides more lengthy replies, such as that he considers to be a quiet person, is not into clubs or big parties (prefers smaller events), likes to cook, listens to music (Led Zeppelin perhaps?), play golf, and take his car for a spin at a track (did I mention he has a sports car?).

It may sound awkward two adults chatting over text messages only, especially being from generations where the phone was it. But neither seems to mind. I don’t. I think it creates a sense of distance and mystery that keeps this whole thing interesting.

On one occasion, though, I sort of broke my own rules. Upon missing each other yet again, and me sending a headshot selfie with my sunglasses partially down that showed my eyes, (to which he said, ‘I’m glad I can see your eyes’), I replied ‘hopefully one day we’ll see each other in person’.

That happened close to the weekend and he had inquired if I had any plans. I thought maybe this could ‘make or break’ anything that might happen next. I know we’ve just met, but after my Kevin situation (please see The Swipe), I wanted to make sure (in case he said was unavailable) that he had legitimate plans and wasn’t declining because of a secret agenda.

That Friday we only texted in the morning. Saturday I went about the usual; sometime in the afternoon he wrote, ‘how’s your day doing?’; I replied ‘doing errands’ and asked the same to him.

He said he had a friend in town visiting that he hadn’t seen in years; that he finished playing golf and were going to do other stuff at night. ‘Have fun’ was the last I said to him.

Sunday I went with the usual. I think I texted him early evening regarding his friend, to which he said that they spent part of the day together, but had left already.

We exchanged good nights and that was it for the weekend. I took it as in that he told me the truth.

We’ll see how the ‘find me’ car games goes this week.

“I’m in the need, the need for speed.” Start the engine please.

 

 

 

 

 

 



As I continue on my online quest to meet a guy, I did the swipe thing again shortly before my trip with Dina.

This time I connected with one that caught my attention, not because of his looks, but because he worked in the same company as the husband of a girlfriend of mine.

This meant that, one, he should be as good as a person as my GF’s man and, two, I can get any information I want to know about him through my friends, hopefully eliminating all the mysteries surrounding someone you don’t know.

This person, which I will refer to as Bob, looked respectable from his photos. He’s about 5 years older than me and although he has no hair (as in bald, which I never done before of meeting someone like that), I reminded myself to keep my options open, like my bestie always says.

Because I had his first name and that of his employer, I did a search, and found his profiles. The work one had no photo of him, plus the information didn’t seem current, and his social one was very plain. It basically had no content other than the photos he posted of himself in the app.

This is what happens with social media. Either people post too much, or are so closed to the world that you wonder if they’re hiding something. Again, I will try not to jump ahead of myself.

At the same time, if you’re not one who will dedicate time in engaging with your profiles (either personal or professional), then why bother having one?

I think Bob gave me his email before my trip, but did let him know that I was traveling and would touch base with him upon my return, which I did.

He gave me his number and I made the first call on a weekday sometime after work. He picked the call about in the third ring and his voice sounded as one that matched his physical.

We were on the phone for at least an hour and we shared small talk about my trip, work, family, etc., without going to further details, but he seemed to enjoy and interested in what I had to say.

If we did get into a more serious topic, like divorce, it was discussed mildly as in ‘how many years ago it happened’ or other basics.

One thing I didn’t ask him, which probably I should have, was if he was seeing anyone else. He didn’t ask me either and, from what I heard from him, he didn’t sound like he was.

The one detail that was really disappointing was that he lives about an hour or so away from me, which is not what the app showed. I guess the software displays the location of the person of where they are at the moment when one is using the app.

My bad luck with that ‘there’s always something with the guys’ I meet happened yet again. Is this the universe giving me a heads up early on that it won’t happen with this one either? If so, why then did he had to come into my life?

After the first conversation, I called him a couple of more times until I felt that, if he was interested in continuing talking, he should be the one now making the call.

He did a few days later and said on the phone something like, ‘you have been the one calling me, so I thought it was my turn to do so now’. Ok, he seems to be interested.

We eventually spoke a few more times (I believe taking turns) and I think I was the one to ask him if we should meet, to which he accepted.

Since his work is located at a reasonable distance from where I live, I recommended meeting at a bar at a mall near my home on a Friday after work. Although I’ve never been there, the location was one of those with an open design concept that seemed the best one for meeting someone for the first time.

I will admit I was nervous, so much so that I couldn’t decide what to wear. I searched among my clothes some days before looking for something that would click. I put a few ideas aside, but ended up wearing something I decided upon last minute.

Not only did I wanted to make a good impression, I wanted something that I felt represented my personality at that moment. Call me a diva or fashion exaggerated, but my vision was realized.

I remember driving to the mall and walking with these high heels I haven’t worn for a while, so I was trying to establish a flow in the walk as graceful as I could from the parking to the bar, which was all the way to the end of the restaurants wing.

I kept my sunglasses on (trying to pull an Audrey Hepburn) and as I was about to make my entrance to the establishment, I saw how much nicer it was from the internet photos.

And then I see Bob sitting right across the entrance, staring at everyone going in, waiting for me.

What was my reaction when I first saw him? Quite frankly, I don’t remember.

I do remember managing to walk with those heels without a hitch and my dual-tone sunglasses.

Yep, as fashionistas say where I come from: “La moda aunque me joda” (Fashion or bust).

So what happens next? The greeting and sitting down. And everything else, hopefully.

And I’ll need a drink for all that. Cheers!



{December 22, 2014}   Love At First Site 26 – I blue it

My table is not that big, so as much as you try to avoid the other person is not possible.

I complemented him on his cooking skills and wanting to eat healthy. I tried to engage in ‘small talk’ as much as possible. I was making eye contact as I was trying not to look away from the reality here: he’s still and will always be old enough to be my child.

I didn’t think about the cougar thing; I knew getting involved with him would get me nowhere and would unbalance my emotional state that I have worked so hard to reinstate.

The comment about my TV’s wasn’t just one that hit a nerve, it was also one that the universe was throwing at me so I would be aware of what to expect from this guy if I allowed for anything to happen beyond this night.

The message is that there will always be something that will remind me of the age difference and thus feeling ‘old’, trigger some other negative emotions, and who knows what else. There’s the other detail about him that his plan is to leave the city to go to med school somewhere else.

I know that (maybe) we could be friends or I should keep my options open regarding anything social. But, am I really interested in investing time with him when I should stick to doing that for myself? I may sound selfish, but in the end it’s all about me.

I kept the mindless conversation going and tried not to think about the big elephant in the room, so I kept looking at his very blue eyes, which began to mesmerize me.

I thought that maybe I should complement him on that as well. But after I say that, what next?

I guess this is what it feels like when ‘you’re having the blues’?



It had been a long and enjoyable weekend and still had the second city to get to for the day.

My friend got out of the water, rinsed off, changed clothes and else, while I sat on the car waiting for him when I checked my phone. It was around 3pm.

And, there it was, a missed call from an unidentified caller. Looking at the number, I took a guess it could be no one else but ‘the beach guy’.

I called back, got his voicemail, and left a message.

Great, now this is going to be like the ‘back and forth’ emails that we send to each other at random times.

I had mixed feelings when I heard his voice. On one end I was glad that, after all these years, we would finally get to speak to each other. On the other, I was having a gut feeling life was to repeat itself.

My friend got inside the car and, when I was about to start it, the phone rang again and it was he. The moment of truth had arrived and I was nervous.

We exchanged the usual greetings and small talk before getting down to business.

“I’m 2 hours away from you,” said he. “I could drive down today and stay at a hotel to sleep.”

“The thing is I’m headed to another place now with my friend to have dinner there and then drive all the way back, so I don’t know what time I’ll be back. You should have called me ahead of time. Can you make it tomorrow?” asked I.

“No, I have a lot to do tomorrow, starting with my kids. It’s difficult for me to plan ahead. Also, is that guy your boyfriend?”

I knew this question would come up. “No, he’s not my boyfriend!” said I in an upsetting tone. “I’ve known him since I was 13 and graduated from our school as well.” (Dude, if I invited you to come see me it’s because I have an interest in you.)

I thought to myself, why am I giving this extensive explanation to him? Worst of all, I should have stepped outside my car and taken the call away from my friend. The way I responded to the question was totally wrong.

The conversation got into more of ‘who should done what and when’, or who was responsible for this failed attempt to see each other.

So, I agreed with ‘the beach guy’ that I would call him when I was traveling back from my dinner.

I took the wheel again and tried to concentrate on my driving, but my friend knew I was upset. I didn’t want to talk about it because I was sure his opinion about the other guy just got more negative.

At a certain point I did vent out because I was frustrated yet again at my bad luck with men.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about meeting. I feel like a fool for getting my hopes too high like you said,” said I.

“Better now than later,” answered he.

“I know, but nothing happened. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“Don’t think about it. Enjoy your vacation.”

Yes, I should. I’ll figure it out (or not) after my trip ends.



The communication kept coming, but basically it remained via email, which started to bother me. I made a few attempts to call him, but it would go to voicemail and then he wouldn’t return my call.

It was that situation again where I felt I was making all the efforts to make anything happen. One early Saturday morning, though, there was a breakthrough. I was still sleeping when he called.

“You’re still in bed? I’ve been up since 8am. I gave breakfast to my kids, dropped them off at their mom’s, jogged for a while, and now I’m headed to the beach for a while. Have something pending to do with my daughter this afternoon.”

I haven’t said much myself and felt I was wasting my morning (and life) all together. “Sounds like an interesting day.” (Is this all I can really say?)

We kept doing the ‘small talk’ and, out of nowhere, I decided to give an explanation of what I felt about him way back then. I don’t know why I did it. I’ll blame it on being half awake or half asleep.

“I think my attraction to you was more that I wished I had what you had. The closeness to your family and intelligence were things I envied. By being with you I hoped those things would become part of my life.”

I had no recollection of how he responded or know if he actually internalized what I expressed. Our conversation had to end abruptly when he received a call from the hospital he works at.

I felt stupid after hanging up. What’s wrong with me? Why do I have to explain myself to him? Sounds like I wanted forgiveness for something I never did.

After all, he was the one who didn’t pay much attention to me at school, continued any contact with me after he graduated, or even after we saw each other years later. And now he’s pretty much behaving in the same way.

I’m giving this situation way too much thought when his actions are giving me the answers.

I was having my coffee when he sent me a photo. He took a selfie from inside his car in which he posed with a wacky face. The message read, ‘my dog took it.’ Guess this is his version of the sense of humor I was wondering about or didn’t knew existed.

The texts continued. ‘Saw this giant stingray while paddling.’ ‘Beautiful day.’ Now this is the beach guy I used to know.

I sort of felt happy for the conversation because I finally got it off my chest. But I didn’t get his side of the whole matter, so this is not yet concluded.

Question is: will that opportunity ever happen?



The bar was quite a nice place to sit down and enjoy the night, as it allowed to being more relaxed and less formal from sitting at a table. There was even music playing. I was feeling surer of myself already.

“Do you want to have a drink first and then move to a table?” asked he.

“I’m fine staying and eating here. The ambience is quite nice.”

When it was time to order the drink, I made the mistake of asking for a mixed one, which I normally don’t.  I thought because I had munched at home I would be fine.

But when I tasted it, damn, the effects really hit me hard inside, like in my stomach, and how it felt was not good. It was like a bomb. Then the second one touched ground.

“So,” asked he, “tell me about yourself.” (Small talk here it comes.)

“Well, I’ve been single for a couple of years now…”

“Shit happens.” (That’s not nice! I was very disappointed by his comment, but I wasn’t going to show it.)

“Yes, it does,” said I. I said it just to keep the conversation going.

He then asked me what I did for a living, fun and else. I answered that my life was not that different from others. I work, get home, exercise, make dinner, clean up, go to sleep, etc., and take care of things during the weekend.

Regarding fun, I would usually meet with my girlfriends for a drink and maybe share an appetizer or two, either at a bar or someone’s home. There were all inexpensive and simple, allowing us to chat and share an update of our lives.

On the other hand, this guy had nothing in common with me, other than he didn’t have children. He’s never been married, works hard and equally plays so, which I already knew. Whatever conversation followed did not have much substance, so the best effort was made to keep the night as enjoyable as possible.

I kept drinking so I wouldn’t have to talk much and cover my angry face, but eventually it caught up with me. My stomach was getting upset too.

How can this date be saved from sinking? Food?



It was an awkward feeling when Jeff arrived at my place. The first time I saw him was at the lounge. I was nicely dressed and put up together.

Now I was in jeans and no make-up; just how I normally hang around my place. He knew what I was wearing, but was still nervous to see him.

I offered to sit out in the patio in two lounge chairs. The night presented itself with a full moon and the weather was just right to do that.

The conversation started with the ‘how are you?’ line, moved to admitting that I was surprised that he had called me (or showed some interest in me), but was glad he was here.

After some time of small talk and the confidence opened up between the two of us, the normal thing was for the topics to get more personal.

I don’t know how it happened, but I started speaking about my current state of my divorce very candidly, up to a point that I really opened up about pretty much about my whole life.

I got sad and even shed some tears. But I felt very at ease saying what was on my mind.

And, out of nowhere, Jeff took my hand and held it. I believe he said something like, ‘don’t worry, things will be fine.’

I thanked him for his gesture. “I don’t know what you plan to do with your situation. But I hope that it gets resolved for the best as well.”

We sat there in the patio for a long time. I remained emotional most of the night, but at least got some temporary relief.

Jeffrey said he would keep in touch with me. I didn’t ask him to explain what he meant by this (and if he actually planned to do so). But, what the heck, can’t complaint.

Even if I never get to see him again, minimizing the pain I was feeling back then, and getting a dose of hopefulness for facing the future was all worth it.

Just think what two encounters with this guy have made for me.

Shoot! If only he wasn’t ‘that complicated.’



All right, let’s continue with the ‘small talk,’ shall we?

“So, what do you do for a living?” I asked.

“I’m a doctor.” (Say what?? A doctor? With those clothes? You’ve got to be kidding me! Don’t think so…) This shocker has definitely taken my mind away from my present reality.

My face finally takes another look, now one of ‘I don’t believe you, but I’ll take your word for it.’

Ricky takes out one of his business cards and hands it to me. I realize that he’s into the holistic side of medicine, which sort of explains his fashion.

Hmm, interesting card design. The blue and orange colors captured not only health, but a peaceful, serene and calm vibe as well.

“I like the artwork created here,” said I. “It reflects the essence of what you do.”

“Yeah, I wish I could appreciate it in its entirety,” said he.

“What do you mean? Don’t you like it?”

“I do, but the thing is I’m color blind.” (Oh, no wonder your choice of clothes is so crappy. Well, to me they are. He’s totally clueless if they look good or not.) “The text and images I can see. But if the colors and everything else works together, that I can’t say.”

OK, don’t ever recall meeting a colorblind person before and I’m wondering how it may affect your life negatively.

“Well, I think your business card looks very professional.”

We all kept talking and about an hour into the conversation, Ricky decided to leave. “Listen you all, I’m with some friends here, so I’m going to rejoin them.”

So, what am I supposed to say now? I guess something like, “It was nice meeting you. Have fun,” was all I could think about. Dina and Madelyn also said their good-byes.

I saw Ricky walk away and when he was out of my sight, I stared at his card. I don’t know what to do next.

“Make sure you answer his call when he does,” said Madelyn.

I looked at her back. How can she be so sure that he will call me? I can’t even anticipate what will happen with my life tomorrow or even in the next few minutes.

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if her prediction is true.



et cetera