The New M.E. Generation











This guy returned my call around 3-4pm that Saturday. He sounded like he was running 100 miles a minute. He explained that on Saturday afternoons he works as a personal trainer on a gym and was still at that, but wanted to touch base with me before it got later in the day.

Well, that’s nice of him, I think. It was a weird feeling having so much politeness from a young guy like him. Wait, let me rethink this again. Many of the guys I’ve met started out as that, being well mannered and behaving the way I like guys to do.

But after the first encounter, their true beings slowly, and surely, emerge. Reality is they were very smart. They somehow managed to figure it out and mold their personas to make it appealing to me. It is so well crafted, I actually believe there is a possibility that I have finally met a good guy.

So, why am I fooling myself? This guy is probably trying to lure me into the sack. But I’ll give him credit that he works out and knows that if it’s such the case, he better have something worth my attention.

Hearing his voice felt fine. It was one of those occasions when you get a good vibe in the first few minutes of talking to someone.

The only thing that raised a red flag was that he had a ‘jumpy’ tone or talking perhaps a little too fast for me. But this is no surprise since his schedule is filled to the rim. He probably needs that adrenaline rush to be able to pull it all off.

He suggested meeting at 8pm at a bar of my choice. In other words, he was leaving it for me to decide.

I liked that because I was still keeping control of the situation. Meeting him up at the location is an example of that. And, of course, I was not going to put myself in a situation that I know I shouldn’t be.

But I lost control of my thoughts when he asked me what bar it would be. I couldn’t remember the last time I was in one with a guy all by myself.

And what would I talk about? What do I really have to say to him? Is this all going to end sort of bad like my other experiences?

Let’s calm down and control my anxiety level. Let me think about (or put my energy) into something else, like, what am I going to wear?

Now that’s a stressful situation!

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I think I got a reply 2 days later, at around 2:57 am.

What? Dude, do you get to sleep at all? I know you’re in graduate school with hopes to go into medicine, but this is not exactly healthy.

Personally, I can’t recall when I was ever up until those hours when I was in college, undergrad or post-grad. As much as I had projects or tests, it got to a point tiredness would take over.

The last time I was awake or went to bed at those hours was for New Year’s.

‘So you’ve done this before?’ read his reply. ‘I’m not looking for anything other than just to get know you better. But maybe you’re not interested.’

This sounds so generic and thoughts that were drafted of whatever brain activity remained when you were up or about to crash on your bed, whoever’s that may have been.

And this part that you’re not looking for anything, it’s not true, since it was you who contacted me first. With that schedule of yours, I doubt you are willing to put time aside to ‘just get to know me’.

Now what? Should I continue the conversation or just ignore it?

Won’t hurt to reply. Besides, we don’t know who each other is in regards to anything personal, so I’m safe.

‘It doesn’t have to do with wherever I’m interested in this or not. I’ve lived that and don’t regret it. My goal is to find someone more of my age for a long-term relationship. If you want to get to know me, maybe I can do that’.

Talking about being unclear, my response surely was worse than his. Am I really going for this again although I want something else? Was is it about this guy that’s shifting me in the other direction?

Getting attention, being told that I’m pretty by a very young guy, the thrill of adventure, doing what I’m not supposed to be doing when I should have learned already, because like so many others like me, we need a dose of drama that fuels our lives.

Side effects to follow.



I think I finally called Ivan around 11pm on a weekday. Sometimes he does answer and when he does, he sounds like he just got out of hibernation.

He’s in this world, but so tired I can tell by his voice that he wished he were ‘in a place far, far away’.

Well, I don’t blame him. Don’t we all feel this way sometimes?

Starting with me, I’ve thought about this many times. Even some people have encouraged me to do so. They have suggested that I should consider moving to another state and start over.

They all ask me the same question: What is holding you here?

I may not have much of a life here with my so-called job, few friends and family, and almost non-existent social life.

But I’ve made of my space the best thing possible, enough to make my daily time worthwhile without putting too much thought into it.

I won’t deny there are moments when I totally despise every part of it and wonder what my future holds. I also know that others have it worse than me and I have much to be grateful for.

But, I have visited other cities and, for some reason, none have given me that indicative that this is where I should be.

I have made of my current location home and it seems it will be that way for a while. In a weird, inexplicable way, I sort of like it here.

Is it really or is there something else? Am I fooling myself when the real reason behind all this is that I’m scared of making another drastic change?

Not sure. Some years have passed since I became single again and feel pretty good about myself, so why not go for it?

Maybe that extraordinary experience that I’ve been waiting so much for could actually happen soon. And if I leave, it won’t.

Fine, call me a dreamer or whatever crosses your mind. I think it’s not time, not just yet. When will that be, if that?

I’ll just say, I’ll give it some more time.



I remember opening my eyes and staring into the wall and asking myself one question: ‘where am I?’

For a split second I had no idea of my location, which caused me to suddenly jump and sit on the bed.

The first thing I see is Dina sleeping deeply and then looked around the rest of the room.

‘What day is this? What happened yesterday?’ kept repeating in my mind.

I slowly started remembering. I was definitely knocked-out but finally felt better. ‘I can’t believe I made it through this whole ordeal’ I said to myself.

Is there anything good I can say about last night? Yeah, Dina didn’t snore (as far as I remember).

I figured out it was not time to leave the resort just yet because she would have woken me up already.

The other question that remained was, ‘what time was it?’

Now that my drunkenness had faded away (or so I believed), my body was now asking me for food. I barely ate the night before so I was in need of some serious protein, carbs and whatever else I needed to jump-start again.

So I let Dina sleep (she was looking like me the night before), quickly changed and quietly stepped out of the room.

I still didn’t know what time it was when I left the room. The whole resort was desolated. It was as if I was the only person there and had the place all for myself.

I walked towards the dinning hall and finally saw someone. ‘There is life on this planet after all.’

And the question for which I was mostly searching an answer for was also (finally) answered. “Excuse me, what time is it?” (7am)

Oh, my (new question), how many hours that I slept??

The hall was open, so off I went for a healthy and hearty breakfast that would help me survive whatever the rest of this weekend threw at me, including meeting the guys that I was still hoping to encounter (but, please, something else besides the Pirate type, that’s for sure).



et cetera