Looking Back 15 – Kiss and tell

‘If you ever feel like talking, I’m here for you,’ wrote I.

‘I’m done dealing with my current relationship. I rather talk with you about the old days. I remember you being an awesome kisser,’ said he.

‘An awesome kisser?’ I do remember that one time when he took me for the ride on his car. But saying that I was ‘awesome’ is a major word.

‘Thanks for the complement, but I have a vague memory about that. My memories of you and I interacting are at the beach and at a distance in school,’ continued I.

‘You don’t remember a lot do you?’ asked he. ‘You and I go way back. Actually, I looked forward to seeing you in school.’

‘Maybe you and I had something going on since being teenagers, but we really didn’t have anything together. I don’t even know how to define it.’

I kept thinking about the kissing and what really happened between us. If it was that great, why didn’t it continue or he kept some sort of contact after graduating? It’s a mystery I still haven’t figured out.

I continued writing, giving all details that I had about that infamous car ride. While at it, I questioned myself why I was doing this and if he would care at all about what I had to say.

‘I remember that very well. I like chatting with you.’

‘Like I said; if you ever want to talk, let me know. Better yet, let’s have a talk over a drink, that is, if we ever get to see each other again.’

‘Thanks; you’re very sweet. Of course we’ll see each other. Don’t know when because of the distance and all the things going with work, kids, etc.’

Here we go again. Why is that all guys I meet are complicated? When am I ever getting a break?

Putting Yourself Online 23 – I know

Ivan did show up the next day. What was more surprising was that he arrived at a descent time at night.

I was shocked when I opened the door and saw him. You could tell by his face that something was going on that wasn’t good.

When he sat down he gave me the impression that he looked worn out, tired and nervous, almost as if life had aged him.

I started to wonder if I looked like that when my whole situation occurred. All I remember was that it was greatly overwhelming; so much that there are parts my mind have chosen to ‘block’ for my own wellbeing.

What can I say? I felt sorry for him.

Ivan sat on a chair and me on another, and he started to open up.

His girlfriend and him had an argument before she left, and there have been others before this one. In essence, certain issues have been getting more complicated because they have not been resolved, so tensions are running high.

He also said that some family members visited him recently. He had a disagreement with one of them the day they were flying out, which he greatly regretted.

What a mess! He seemed he was about to cry and I quickly sat next to him and held his hand.

“Hey, take it easy,” said I, “there’s as much as one can take.” Me holding his hand helped and he let out a huge breath.

“I know it’s never good to fight with those we love, but it happens. Distance and time changes us, many times for the bad. But all you got to do is speak with that person and clear things out. It was just a misunderstanding.

In regards to your girlfriend, maybe it was good that she went away for a few days. You should take the opportunity to think things over and talk, which you don’t like to do.”

Ivan kept saying ‘I know, I know’ but did not go into further details.

“I know you don’t like to talk much and even less share your feelings with me, but I’m here for you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

He gave me a warm hug before he left and thanked me for my support.

I became worried about him. He is not in a good place and it’s a lot dealing with all that by himself.

I know; I’ve been there.