The New M.E. Generation

{January 25, 2012}   Emotions Re-Act 8 – Yes I do

A few days later, or something like that, I get a phone call I never, ever saw coming.

It was he and he asked me if I wanted to do Sunday brunch with him.

I had the biggest smile on my face ever and was so nervous I could barely talk.

It was definitely one of those ‘YES!!’ moments when you realize, whatever it is that you did, brought the results you were hoping for.

I somehow managed to control my emotions and give him another type of ‘yes’, as in ‘I would love to go with you.’

The next sequence of events got lost in my mind. I slightly remember his car having a dark color outside and light inside.

Knowing how I was back then, I probably didn’t speak much during the car ride as to not say anything stupid.

I was also sort of shy and avoided looking at him at all times. It was also a surreal day that just couldn’t believe was actually happening.

What I do remember is that he was wearing white cargo pants with zippers on the knee area that would convert to bermudas if you took the bottom half off.

And, again, he looked mighty good on them. (Correction: whatever I said about being shy just ‘went out the window’, literally.)

Well, hey, if you’re in a small, confirmed space next to someone like him, you are going to stare at a lot more than just his face.

Don’t you agree?

I don’t remember for how long I was involved with Ricky. I don’t recall being that much (maybe a couple of months?), but it was long enough for my ‘baggage’ to surface and for him to show his ugly side.

What I mean by this is that because I was fresh out of a divorce, I started talking of all the negative things associated to it. And, of course, there’s as much as one person can take.

I saw Ricky starting to get mad at me or at things that to me were not really such a big issue. He also started spending less and less time with me or at my place, to the point he was no longer around.

The last time I was with him was at his office. I had gone there because I needed his help with something, but also had an excuse to meet with him with the hope that I would have ‘that conversation.’ You know, the one usually referred to as ‘we need to talk,’ when you want to decide if to either end or continue with whatever there is between two people.

All I remember was that when I managed to bring up the subject, Ricky’s reaction was of non-acknowledgement about us. Then his tone of voice shifted to one of sounding upset, and him expressing something to the extent that nothing was going on, or something like that.

For me, there was no point in saying anything else, so I decided to leave. When I was about to walk out the door he asked, “what’s going on?” (Yes, he did have the nerve to ask me this!)

“Well, you said what you had to say. But because I have a different position than yours, right now I think it’s irrelevant what I wanted to say. Take care.” I proceeded to exit the door and out of this (what?).

And that’s how it ended, quickly and to the point.

That was on a Saturday. It was a long weekend and all my friends were out of town. I didn’t heard from him at all.

I went right back where I started: alone, but now even more confused. All I could wonder if this was all that life had in store for me. If it is, it’s going to be a very lonely road, that’s for sure.

et cetera