The New M.E. Generation











I started the new year as quiet as possible, meaning, not thinking about the events that occurred previously, to instead focus how I was to move forward without this friendship.

I had made the decision of not calling or texting him any more; with social media, I stopped following him, but didn’t delete him. I know I should have done both since the goal was not to see or read any posts of him with that bitchy woman.

I think the trashiest post from her came when a huge snowstorm hit the area and she wrote, ‘staying home with my hubby doing playful things with him on bed’. Really? Why don’t you invite your female entourage to witness the act so you get more likes? Please, are you that desperate to get recognition from others?

Worst part was that she kept referring to him as ‘her husband’ and he at times to her as ‘my woman’ when they weren’t even married. Between both of them, they kept thanking the One above for getting back together, for making their love flourish again, blah blah blah. (Excuse me, I need to vomit.)

Spoiler alert: according to Catholicism, if you’re living with an ‘unpure’ woman outside the sacred sacrament of marriage, she’s a concubine (a.k.a., a whore). So spare me all these posts in which you’re wrongly using the Lord’s name in vain to not follow his rules, but yours.

It became annoying the repetitive posts through which they were ‘displaying’ this ‘wonderful’ relationship that had re-flourished, as if nothing from the past ever happened. If there were a ‘poster child’ for “dime de qué presumes y te diré de qué careces” (tell me what you’re bragging about and I’ll tell you what you’re lacking), this would be it.

I was in the process of getting all of this guy out of my existence when in late January I get a message from no other but this guy’s former high school girlfriend. Yep, the same one he briefly asked me about the day after the infamous kiss.

“Hey, Emma, don’t know if you remember me. Sorry for contacting you out of nowhere like this. But, have you heard anything from this guy? I haven’t in a few weeks…” said she.

A few weeks? What? OMG! It all suddenly hit me. She is probably the one this guy referred to as the female from the past that ‘don’t know how she found me in social media, but did’, the one who probably he was texting to that last night we were together.

When I told her that I hadn’t communicated with him since Xmas Eve, as well as to the why of my distancing, and she started telling me her version of the events, I was given a dose of reality that was hard to swallow. For example:

-She knew all along about my existence and was happy that this guy and I were traveling together, etc. She would have been delighted (and approve of) if we had become a couple (“Better you than that bitch”, said she).

-She was the one this guy was with when he traveled by road in his car back and forth between where he was living and his mom’s house (at the same times I visited). His story while traveling that ‘I couldn’t answer your call because I hit an area with no signal’ or ‘I checked in at a motel to rest overnight and fell asleep when you called’ were lies.

-When this guy was hitting on me and trying to ‘have some fun’, he managed to take it up a notch with her. Had he done with me, he would have ‘gotten some’ with 2 women in less than 48 hours.

-She was involved with the moving before he left to the Pacific (which he never told me; he only did of his ‘bro’), plus was the one who helped him with the storage space, tickets, etc., with a credit card of hers. That story that he used his own money was also a lie.

-This guy has gone as far as telling her that not only did he wanted to get back with her, but marry as well, when he was telling me that ‘you and I would make a good team’. So what was he trying to do, play us two (and maybe have the bitch on the side) at the same time, without either part finding out? How far was he willing to take this untelling of the truth?

And the list goes on. The more we exchanged emails that day, the more everything started to fall into place, but not exactly making sense. It was that feeling of ‘why me?’, of ‘why did you do this to me?’, of ‘what have I done to you to deserve this?’

This guy was supposed to be my friend, the main male figure in my life that never did me wrong, the one who always lead my way in anything guy related.

So what am I going to do now? Out with the old, in with the new. “Girl, you’re now my new BFF.”

 

 

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{August 10, 2015}   Looking Back 46 – Taking note

Life can be contradictory. On one hand, you’re told that no matter what, things will always change, because that’s how the universe works.

But on the other hand, certain changes do happen because other people, circumstances or forces make it happen. It may be so this way, but the ultimate person to complete the process is oneself. And if you don’t, it will always linger like a bad cold you’re trying to shake off.

Case in point, the beach guy reappeared again as he always does in the most awkward moment or inconvenient time for me.

It was a Thursday afternoon and I was having lunch downstairs, outside the office which I don’t do often. I was eating a sandwich at a Deli looking at the news on a TV monitor when he text me.

‘What are you doing?’ asked he. Note: no greeting was first mentioned.

It was one of those busy days at work that doesn’t seem to end and was not in the mood at that moment for anything, other than taking my break and eating. ‘Lunch’ is all I replied.

‘I’m here at –‘ said he. He was located at a city at least one county away.

‘Really? What for?’ replied I. Note: he was coming down my way, but didn’t bother to tell me in advanced.

‘Work. How far am I from you?’

‘Don’t know; a little over an hour depending on traffic?’ He asked me for my address to check the distance, to which he replied after researching, ’50 minutes’.

I knew why he was asking me that. He was probably contemplating if there would be an opportunity to meet. But honestly, with the day I was having, at that instant I wasn’t interested in that at all.

‘How long are you here for?’ asked I.

‘Probably tomorrow night.’

I don’t recall what I replied next, but I completely ignored his hints. I just thought that if he had wanted to see me he should make it happen. I definitely wasn’t in the mood for anything, even less the effort of going to him.

Here’s the thing: I had recently text him if he was coming to my area any time soon and he just said, ‘I don’t know.’ Or if I text him asking him what plans he had for the weekend, he always replied that he was busy, or had his kids, or some other excuse that translated to ‘I’m not interested’.

This has been a situation that has repeated many times over, so why should I react to his local area visit? Spoiler alert: I’m treating you the way you treat me, i.e., I’m not interested.

We stopped the text because he was on a meeting and my break was done.

I could have continued, but I still had my second part of the work day and knew it wasn’t going to be smooth.

I sat back at my desk and kept on working. But his presence gave me a bad aftertaste. It took me back to high school when he was always busy studying and barely dedicated any time to me.

I was always the one looking for him and he would have that look that he had more important things to take care of.

I tried really hard not to think much about his behavior, but after a while it felt like huge rejections that became painful.

I didn’t deserve it, but back then I didn’t know when it was time to step back and walk away, to know when to read the signs that this wasn’t healthy for me, that as much effort and chances one gives to people or situations, some of them will just simply never be.

And that is one hard pill to swallow.



et cetera