The New M.E. Generation











I think I finally called Ivan around 11pm on a weekday. Sometimes he does answer and when he does, he sounds like he just got out of hibernation.

He’s in this world, but so tired I can tell by his voice that he wished he were ‘in a place far, far away’.

Well, I don’t blame him. Don’t we all feel this way sometimes?

Starting with me, I’ve thought about this many times. Even some people have encouraged me to do so. They have suggested that I should consider moving to another state and start over.

They all ask me the same question: What is holding you here?

I may not have much of a life here with my so-called job, few friends and family, and almost non-existent social life.

But I’ve made of my space the best thing possible, enough to make my daily time worthwhile without putting too much thought into it.

I won’t deny there are moments when I totally despise every part of it and wonder what my future holds. I also know that others have it worse than me and I have much to be grateful for.

But, I have visited other cities and, for some reason, none have given me that indicative that this is where I should be.

I have made of my current location home and it seems it will be that way for a while. In a weird, inexplicable way, I sort of like it here.

Is it really or is there something else? Am I fooling myself when the real reason behind all this is that I’m scared of making another drastic change?

Not sure. Some years have passed since I became single again and feel pretty good about myself, so why not go for it?

Maybe that extraordinary experience that I’ve been waiting so much for could actually happen soon. And if I leave, it won’t.

Fine, call me a dreamer or whatever crosses your mind. I think it’s not time, not just yet. When will that be, if that?

I’ll just say, I’ll give it some more time.

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I took a deep breath and dialed the number. Certain thoughts kept crossing my mind and taking me back in time. While the call started ringing, it was as if, for a moment, I was that young woman way back that summer.

When he answered, it was as if I quickly came back to reality. Truth is, I thought the call would go to voicemail.

“Hi!” said he very happy, “so glad we are talking.”

“Me too! Wow! Can’t believe this is actually happening.” Now I was really nervous.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because the whole commercial thing was so long ago, and I was in college, and you had your career going. I’m sure because of it you have met tons of people, so it could have gone either way about you remembering me.”

“Of course I remember you! Why wouldn’t I? You were a great person. Besides, I was always accessible to people, including you.”

I almost started crying. It was incredible how all people past and present that have been or are part of my life, agree on what he just said. All except one.

“I remember this from you,” said I. “I always felt that you were genuine, which is actually what I thought about you when I saw you on TV during the casting period.”

There was a brief pause from him. It seemed what I said also touched him.

The conversation covered many topics and took a different turn when it got to one aspect in particular.

“I left home because the entertainment industry has taken a deep downslide. There’s a lot of talent, but not enough outlets for all of them to channel,” said he. “I remember when there was this great time in TV that I was doing so much work. Now you have to leave and search for new opportunities. There is no other choice.

Look at me, at my age, starting over both professionally and personally.”

When he said ‘starting over’, something remarkable happened. For the first time ever, I finally connected with him, meaning, I saw him as the person he really is. In other words, I got him because I am on the same spot as he is.

“Of all the people I’ve known,” said I, “you are one of those that I never thought would be where you are now. I always envisioned something totally different for you.”

The conversation continued longer than I had expected. In between all said I learned that his girlfriend lives back home (that explains a lot) and that he is very faithful to her.

Having said that, should I suggest meeting up? Maybe I should leave that to him.

The conversation came to an end when he got another call he needed to answer. (‘Saved by the bell!’)

We quickly agreed to speak again. And just like that, the conversation was over.

So, what happens next?



Our conversations continued, which eventually centered on love, relationships, marriage and my divorce.

I learned from him that his marriage was in a standstill. His spouse and he understood that they still loved and respected each other very much, but the way they envisioned the latter years was different for both. It means that they will have to separate for the sake of each other and their family. But, when that decision is to be made is yet to be determined.

“You know, getting divorced sucks,” said I. “As much civilized and respectfully you may do it, or, like in my case, it was the best that could have happened to me, it’s a very difficult process, especially when children are involved.

I know I am in a much better place right now, but I’m still dealing with my recovery, and I will probably do so for many more years.

The circumstances regarding your relationship are your private matter and what you, or both, decide to do is as well. But I will say this; you and I are not getting any younger. Every day, week or month that goes by is like a year of life for us.

If what you are telling me is the truth, then the two of you should part ways and live the life you both deserve. Do it when you still have the time and drive to start over again.”

He didn’t respond to what I told him other than that I was right. And, between you and me, of course I wished he were single again. But, unfortunately, he, like most of the guys I’ve met, has an attachment, or complication.

Darn it, will I ever meet a guy that is hassle-free?



et cetera