The New M.E. Generation











I left to my New Year’s party invitation and completely forgot about Ivan on my way to it.

The place I’ve spent this night has been pretty much the same these past few years. Even better, the usual people go there, so we all know each other and I don’t feel out of place in spite of going alone.

It was a great night. I danced, partied plenty, ate great food and even enjoyed being around other people’s kids.

I also made sure and got something to wear just for the night. I went to a secret location that I know and scored a dress from an Asian designer with a quirky pattern that had golden accents on it.

I was glad that I found what I had envisioned on my mind: different, with a metallic color and even more, at a great price.

Yep, metallics are very popular during the holidays, but for me it represented trying to end the year and start the next one with a new glow.

Some of the people complemented my dress and I was glad they did. Thinking back at my other ensembles, I realized how they have evolved as a reflection of my times and emotions.

I will say that this year’s dress is the most fashionable so far. I’ve even changed my hairstyle which I got even more complements for.

If you looked at it you will see that the shape is simple, but the colors are bright (purple, red, blue) in structured lines all over the fabric.

It correlates with my current state of mind that I like things bright as they relate to light or positive things. Metallics reflect sunshine and capture the glow of stars. It all goes back to light, enlightenment, opening your space within yourself to let it shine in new things.

Although the background of the fabrics is black, the intensity of the color was perfect to make the others stand out. So in a way it means that my darker times are moving back and new shades are stepping in.

When midnight arrived I cried as I always do, but less intense as other years. People hugged me and I thanked everyone, including the house dog, for this night which they made it special.

The family even lighted some lanterns, which flew away in the sky. It gave me a feeling that I finally let go of the negative and that the light was showing the universe that, ‘I’m still here, watch me soar’.

I left the party when everyone started leaving and still no sign of Ivan, so I went home and relaxed before going to bed.

It was still dark, but the night had been perfect. I looked at the stars from my window and instead of making a wish I closed my eyes and said to myself, ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you’, and thought nothing else.

I opened my eyes. It’s a new year of new beginnings.

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{December 30, 2013}   Looking Back 26 – Over the limit

After Thanksgiving break, I went to my usual routine. A few weeks went by and no word from that guy or myself to him either.

And, in his expected manner, he re-emerged like a bad cold that refuses to go away all together.

‘Closed on my house, yay! How are you?’ his text read.

My thought was, ‘Yay, great for you, as always’. This means there’s always going to be a situation (or better yet, excuse) for him not coming to see me.

And regarding the ‘how are you?’ part, I’m in no rush in responding. Like I’ve said before, if he cared in any way, he would have called already, and I’m tired of wasting my limited texting on him.

A couple of hours later, he wrote again. ‘Are you there?’

‘Yep’, said I. Felt more like saying, ‘Still here putting up with you’. My limit with him was already way more than that of my last messaging billing cycle.

‘I have Xmas week off. What will you be doing?’ wrote he.

‘I will be around’, replied I. Regardless if I have a plan or not doesn’t matter. I know I will not be included in his, so why say anything else?

A couple of weeks went by and, again, he was lost all together. I had stepped away from communicating to him as I have been doing (‘yay’ to that!).

Before I knew it, it was Xmas Eve and, as I always do, I call everyone I think deserves my undivided attention and wish them well. The ‘beach guy’ didn’t, but in the spirit of the holidays, I putted my emotions aside and did anyway.

I knew this would go over quickly (he wouldn’t answer my call), so I made his first. Here’s the drill: his phone rings 4 times and then voicemail activates. ‘Hello, this is…Please leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as I can’ (which you never do with me).

My response: ‘Hey, it’s me. Just wanted to wish you a Merry Xmas with your family and loved ones’ (which doesn’t include me).

All right, done. Time to call those others worth my mobile minutes.



et cetera