The New M.E. Generation











What I remember next was that he had the help from a former colleague in moving out of the apartment and placing his belongings in the storage spaces.

I believed he then made the trip to his mom’s to leave one of the cars with her; the third one would stay with a couple friends of his.

I don’t recall if I saw him before he left to the Pacific. If I did, I probably got teary eyed when saying good-bye while giving him a hug, liked I’ve always done, when I knew it would be long before I saw him again.

I now look back and can’t believe how emotional I kept getting for him when he was showing the opposite feelings for me. I was so into keeping the friendship that I was allowing him to treat me like crap.

Yes, I was afraid of losing the only thing left that mattered to me, gave me security, a sense of self, anything and everything I relied on to have.

But unfortunately, when you place others before yourself, especially those who don’t deserve or haven’t earned it, they’re going to treat you badly.

And I’ve had this experience already happen with many others (including that person I was married with), so why was I in denial when reality was standing there right before me? Why was I being blind when he was showing his true colors?

If I didn’t get to see him and instead spoke with him on the phone, I probably got equally emotional, but didn’t say much about it. I would again have placed him first and not add additional pressure on him that he already had, or so I thought.

My next recollection of events was that he finally took flight and was posting every detail of his travel tagged with religious emoticons and thoughts.

It went down to something like this: he sat on the plane’s window taking photos of the sky, for example, and write, “thank you Lord for this opportunity as you’re with me all the way”. His favorite emoticon was of two hands together in prayer, which he used all the time on social media and texts, even if the event didn’t have a religious connection.

Or a post like, “look at that water that’s waiting for me down there and none of you will get to enjoy.”

In essence, he was trying to convey that he was headed to paradise and that his decision to go there was because the One above told him to, that ‘this is where he wants me to be right now, even though I don’t have an explanation as to the why of it.’

As the posts continued, they became too much for me. I felt like sticking my hand down the throat and puke at his absurdity. It was the same rhetoric over and over, like he needed continuous confirmation about anything that embodied him.

What it really sounded to me was that ‘the Man is giving me everything that I need because I am kissing butt big time to secure my place in the afterlife, which I know I have, and none of you are getting’.

He may be thankful of all the powers he supposedly was gifted from heaven, but it was clear as the blue sky that it was all about ‘me, me, me’, as in ‘me’ is better than you, ‘me’ gets all that I want, ‘me’ knows better than you, ‘me’ is untouchable ‘cause I got Him on my side and you don’t’.

He may have felt he was on top of the world and able to conquer it all, but his life was headed towards the worst transatlantic disaster he would experience.

Let’s say it certainly wasn’t going to be a day at the beach and would require more than his two hands held together to get a grab of it.

In other words, you never know what the tide might bring in, or like they say in aviation lingo, hold on tight to your seat, brace for impact, and hold your breath, ’cause you’re going down, down, down.

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The next thing I remember about this guy is that he called to tell me that he finally located a position within his current employer…. In the Pacific!

“The Pacific?? What happened to the opening two states from you?” said I.

“The closer one, there could be a possibility a year from now. I tried negotiating for that, but I don’t know right now if it will happen. The one in the Pacific is the only thing available if I want to stay working with this company,” replied he.

I was listening to him and didn’t know what to think. This location didn’t feel good to me because of the distance, but it’s upsetting that he was now in this situation. He should have started searching for a job way back, but he didn’t because he wanted ‘to be in good standing’ with the people who helped him get the last one.

That may sound very ‘bromantic’, but when your bills pile up, they’re surely not going to help you on that. Honestly, he was being a cop out. The guy I knew always had a plan that knew well when and how to execute, and wouldn’t wait for no one to help him; he took charge right away and wouldn’t stop until accomplished.

“I’ve spent many hours at church thinking this over and this is where He wants me to be,” said he.

Oh, Lord. Here we go again. Nothing new as to the way he was now dealing with anything in his life, except that something way beyond you has control over you (which sounds more like that psycho ex of his).

“I respect your decision, you know I always do. Maybe this is good for you after all you’ve gone through? You’ve always managed to turn things around for the best before,” said I.

“The thing is I will be living at a military base and it don’t allow cars, so will rely on a bicycle they will have to supply to me. Plus, my mobile won’t work over there. The location is pretty, but the time difference and new environment will be a challenge,” said he.

Oh, definitely that and more. This is what I’m talking about; had he done his homework of getting a job earlier, this conversation would be way different.

He then proceeded to explain the decision to leave was done and he was departing rather quickly to avoid the expenses when without a job, like rent. He had already set aside a storage space for one of his cars and another for his personal belongings. He was to leave a second car with his mom.

That’s one thing I had forgotten about. His cars. And they were three. Why so many? Because, according to him, if one broke down, he would have two others to use and not be without wheels.

I remember his first one, which he acquired back home second hand and used to give it basic maintenance himself. I also remembered that another one of the three kept having problems, and he would drive it to the dealer in his previous location to service it, costing him vacation days, money, gas, etc.

It was quite a few times he did that trip back and forth, as the car kept having problems after the dealer worked on it. He would drive for days to get back home. We would speak for hours on the phone and as long he could stay awake, to then check in at a motel to rest, and then continue his journey the next day.

I never understood the need of a third vehicle or keeping one that was problematic, or taking it to the dealer for repair when he knows well it’s always more expensive.

We’re talking about triple insurance policies, gas, maintenance costs, etc., and now an additional storage space to pay for. There’s no value on that, not even sentimental.

Reality is he was being a hoarder trying to fulfill some emotional void he lacked. Had he being in his right mind, he would have stayed with just one, two tops, and gotten rid of the problematic one as soon as it started being a burden. He wouldn’t show any emotions towards a vehicle; he would be objective and would get rid of anything that wasn’t working any more (including people).

Unfortunately, he was now clinging to the wrong things, including the loser ex, the residues of a toxic relationship, a codependency with questionable religious people, an unstable life, and uncertain future.

And now you’re leaving to the Pacific? Hmm. Maybe this is more about that he’s running away from it all than anything else. So, it is good, is it bad? Can I say that there’s always something good within the bad? I guess this is what it means when they say that ‘the universe works in mysterious way’. Please hold.



After my return home, life went back to normal for me. For Madeline and my friend, not so much.

About a year later, Madeline decided to quit he job. She had mentioned this when I first visited her. She didn’t give me a solid reason for it other than ‘she had thought about for some time and had already made her mind on it.’

I tried to make sense into her, but in her true fashion, there wasn’t anything to make her go back her decision. And by the time she officially confirmed it with me, she had put notice at work and had separated a storage space.

Her mom flew over shortly after and Madeline placed all her belongings in the storage. She was literally living out of her suitcase and with no immediate plan.

She came to my area to leave her car with some friends. She then took off to Europe for a month by herself. Upon her return she was like a gypsy jumping from one place to another, without saying what she would do next.

When I told my friend, it made no sense to him either. He was convinced that something really bad happened with a person or situation that made her decide on something so extreme.

But with Madeline’s close tight persona, the answer to that mystery as of to the why was one I knew would never be solved.

Fast forward another year and my friend’s job contract was coming to an end; he was making the arrangements to stay with his employer and hopefully get transferred to another location.

I don’t know how he broke it to me, but it was during this time that he told me that his relationship was in bad shape.

It caught me by surprise, as he was someone who always managed to overcome any problem. It was a situation that had taken time to develop, which made me wonder why he didn’t share with me when it started getting complicated.

I got concerned for him, so I started calling him more often for support. I knew his girlfriend wouldn’t like it, but he had always been there for me and now it was my turn to do the same.

At that point I had no position about his relationship since I had no details of what had been happening. My only wish was that he wouldn’t get too hurt and whatever concluded would be for the best for both of them.

What I didn’t know was that his so called girlfriend, if that, hated my guts with a passion, to the point that one day she answered my friend’s phone and talked to me with a nasty tone.

I got to know her even nastier side the following week when she called my mobile. Among the things that this primitive-level person told me was that I couldn’t call him because he was ‘her man’ and that ‘his family had no recollection of who I was.’

To which I replied, “if he doesn’t want my friendship, he has to be the one to tell me IN MY FACE. Second, I’ve been in his life way before you starting fucking it up, so I’m not going away any time soon.”

I then proceed to provide such an array of details including full names, addresses, dates and else, that clearly proved that I was more than a friend, I had also been part of his family.

And while I kept on and on, all this low-class bitch could do was gag, as she realized she made a huge fool of herself and eventually hung up.

I was determined to defend my friend no matter what. But in the same fashion as Madeline, something happened to my friend that made him someone unknown to me.

Yep, the people who I always looked up to and gave me the tools to survive were the ones now with such a broken down system, that not even a personal upgrade was to fix them.



I placed all the letters back in the box, finished organizing the storage space, closed it and left.

I know I probably should have left with the last letter I received of him. I had no idea of his whereabouts, so perhaps doing a search with the returning address could lead to something.

But it has been so many years. Chances are he had moved, even maybe to another country. Then there was his marital status; it could be either way.

Even more, maybe he was still traveling for work and not that easily to get a hold of.

I know there are social sites to search at, but what if he shared a profile with his significant other? If he did, I can’t send him a message.

I got home and promptly got on my computer. I started my search with his first and last name, nothing. I then tried first name, middle initial and last. Again, nothing.

Tried the last option again and added the name of the country. Switched to typing his nickname with last name. I tried all data I could remember, including the ship’s name.

I wasn’t getting any results, nothing that at least could give me a clue about him. It was like trying to find someone that has never existed.

I couldn’t believe that with all the technology available, I was in the same spot as the beginning.

Now what? Smoke signals, sniffing dogs, send an SOS?



et cetera