The New M.E. Generation











The next school day I remember driving around quickly in my friend’s car so I would learn how to get to the university by myself. The idea was to drop him off there and pick him up later when he was done with classes. This meant I had the car all for myself to go to the beach.

The best thing about the beach was that because the sand was so hard, cars could drive on it and not get stuck. It was a surreal moment for me being there. It’s one of those times that later in life you can tell others you did it.

I also got to see my friend’s university. After the situation he went through in high school to graduate, I was glad to see his life now flourishing and having overcome what happened in the past.

So, as agreed, I went to the beach to drive around it for a while and then went to pick him up around 2 p.m. When I got to the parking I noticed many of the cars had a sporty design, with colors that were more associated with a guy. My friend’s was around those lines; dark blue, 2 doors, with a look of a car meant to have fun with.

I wasn’t surprised he chose this one; it was well taken care of and had the features he only needed for that time in his life. Although it wasn’t new, he was the type of person that would always compare price with value, and how it would make his everyday activities easier.

I was like that as well; I liked to buy things that were only necessary and believed they didn’t have to be expensive to be defined of good quality.

I then headed to the students building to find him. As I walked down the hallway I felt the architecture of the school was plain and dull, with not much vegetation. My school’s design was something similar to this, but the many green areas compensated, giving it a more neighborhood feel.

Upon entering the building and walking, I started feeling strange, as in ‘all eyes were on me’. I looked side to side and realized the place was full of men. I couldn’t see one female in all this. It was as if they were looking at me like some strange alien that just landed on this planet.

I started walking faster, almost running. ‘Where’s my friend??’ I thought to myself. ‘I thought the school was co-ed!’

What a relief to find my friend. “Why are there no women here??” I asked him. “All the guys were staring at me as if they’ve never seen one before!”

My friend laughed. “Unfortunately the ratio of men versus women in the field of aeronautics is greatly uneven,” said he. “There are women in this school, but few. And, they’re not that pretty. Actually, they’re nicknamed ‘dogs’.”

“That’s not nice! You all probably feel intimidated by them and just want to put them down. They can’t be that bad looking.”

“They’re not as pretty as you, especially the way they dress up and present themselves. You know how I am, I like them to be feminine. They always wear these sneakers that don’t flatter them. I know we’re in college and the clothes are not that important, but a nice dressed women is always appealing to any guy.”

And as always, my friend found the words to make reason out of nothing. It was also nice to hear my friend tell me that I was pretty. I had an idea how he felt about my looks, but hadn’t expressed this directly to me until now.

He had told me before that I was well-mannered, and would know how to speak and behave in any situation, being it a BBQ or a dinner at the White House. That I was the type of girl any guy would like to take out to anywhere and not end up embarrassing him.

I have agreed with him on my so-called good education, but on the looks was another matter. Then and now I’ve considered myself to be just an average girl. I don’t know if it because I believe that ‘looks come and go’ and what you really are stays, meaning I want people to remember me for who I am, or perhaps I don’t give myself enough credit for always trying to be the best person I can be.

For me, being beautiful starts in the inside. Once you master that, it all shows in the exterior and will be noticed by everyone.

Whatever the reason for not seeing what others do, my looks have earned me some pretty memorable moments, just like what was about to happen next.

Don’t worry, it didn’t get ugly.

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{January 21, 2013}   Looking Back 11 – Crossing over

“So how’s that working for you?” asked he.

“What, damage control?”

“If you want to look at it that way, yes.”

“Well, my ex did a lot of hurting, but I’ve advanced in my recovery. I know that I did everything right in my marriage and that he fell out of love for me. The reasons why will always be a question for me. It’s all a work in progress but I will get to where I should be one day. That I know for sure.”

This guy and I kept exchanging emails until the universe intervened and let me know it was time for us to part ways again.

It was a natural thing. I stopped writing because I had nothing else to say and he had been more than a good doctor, he had been a good friend as well, the one I always wished for.

It was time for me to move on and start practicing the medicine he applied to me.

And just like that, one day while walking to work and about to cross the street, I see a small convertible car being driven by a guy coming my way.

I let it pass and looked at it while crossing. It was beyond a surreal moment. It was living that moment when I was a teenager all over again.

All those memories came back on a flash. At first I felt sad, but later I felt good. I finally came to terms to that time of my life like I have with so many other moments.

What we shared was meant for that time and only then. Now we’re living different lives and he returned to my life to help me give closure.

Like I said before, one day my life will shift gears and find the man I deserve to have. In the meantime, there will be many roads to cross and walk, but, you know what?

I’m going to be just fine.



Ivan came over again and, this time, he looked really bad! His facial expression was a combination between being horribly shocked and ‘I can’t believe this happened to me.’

He and I sat down on the same chairs we did before. It was almost surreal meeting again. It had been a while, but it felt like it was the other day when he told me about his problems.

But now he looked even worse. I was beyond feeling sorry for him. Seriously, this guy was in such bad shape it felt like there was nothing that could be done to help him feel better.

I sat next to him and held his hand once more. I had no idea what to tell him, but I gave it a shot.

“You probably know, but you don’t look good.” (Maybe not.)

He wasn’t affected by my comment. “Listen, I’m really sorry for what happened. I never thought it would. You told me things were bad, but I thought the two of you would work things out.”

He was still not saying anything. “OK, I do understand what happened to you and, like I said before, you don’t have to go through this alone, even less now.”

“I know,” said he, “and I appreciate it. But, I have some fault in all this. I should have handled the relationship another way.”

“Hold on a second! Things were bad and you may have made mistakes, but that doesn’t give her permission to go out and cheat on you.

If she was so unhappy, she should have broken up with you. She then could have done whatever she wanted. But, no, instead, she gets back at you the most hurtful of way!” (Now I was getting really mad!)

Ivan’s expression sort of changed to ‘what’s up with her?’ Yep, my past experiences and feelings got suddenly relieved through another person. I quickly took notice and switched modes.

“Sorry,” said I, “but it upsets me how you feel about yourself. It’s not fair to do that in an effort to find a reason to all this. There are times when we never do. Right now learn from it, vow never to make those mistakes again, and move on. That’s all you can do at this time.”

Wow, listen to myself talk! Ivan was so overwhelmed, nothing really registered on his mind. But it was ok, I was glad he was here and that I somehow managed to give him some comfort (I think).

And, like the first time around, Ivan didn’t say much and thanked me before he left.

I was somewhat concerned about his wellbeing when he did. But, that’s for him to deal with. I think I have done for him all that I could.

You know what? I think he’s going to be all right, and so am I.



et cetera