The New M.E. Generation











{December 26, 2016}   The Swipe 14 – Not unusual

“Hi, nice meeting you finally,” said I to Bob while shaking his hand and kissing him on the cheek. I sat down with him on the reception area of the bar/restaurant to wait to get a table.

“You look nice,” said he to me. “Thanks, you too,” replied I. I was glad he complemented my attire. What he was wearing may have been simple (dark trousers and a white long sleeve shirt), but it suited him well.

Something that did get more of my attention was that he was wearing a long gold necklace that he kept inside his shirt. I did my best to keep my vision on him, and not down this shirt. But I have to admit I was curious to see what was at the end of it, don’t know why.

I mean, I’m personally not against men wearing necklaces, tattoos, piercing, or earrings. But if it is with somebody I’m involved with somehow, then they will bother me, and my attitude for them hasn’t changed with time.

From all those I only wear earrings, which is socially and culturally accepted for women. But I only have the traditional one hole per ear. If I was to wear anything else on my ears, it would be something that wouldn’t require more piercing.

Where did my distaste for the above mentioned started is a total mystery. After all, I like things that are related to creativity and expressing yourself (like fashion). Unfortunately these don’t sit well with me.

I agree that you have to see beyond what’s outside a person, but even if a guy is the best one in the world, I know it will become an issue with me in the long run.

Bob and I kept talking for a few minutes and then were seated in the bar area at one of those tall tables. The ambience, decor, and people was nice. Bob was more impressed as I was with the location.

“I’m glad you like this place,” said I. “I hate recommending places to people and then turn out to be disappointing.”

After each got a drink and continued with the conversation, Bob says to me, “I have a couple friend of mine who lives in the area.”

Oh, oh. It’s time for me to reveal my secret.

“I have a confession to make,” said I to Bob while looking at him with a revealing smile on my face. He looks at me as if I was about to say something that would change the course of humanity.

“That couple you’re talking about, I know who they are. They’ve been my good friends for years,” said I. “But they don’t know I was to meet with you tonight.”

Bob was really surprised at what I said, and even more when I told him the reason behind me swiping right when I saw his profile on the dating app.

He told me how he met my girlfriend’s husband at work, that he had been at their home for dinner on several occasions, and other things I already knew about my friends.

The night went along very well, a lot more than I expected, even as far as getting selfies of us together. We even ended up late in the evening eating Cuban food at a famous restaurant that he hadn’t been to before.

The night even got an additional twist when another colleague of Bob showed up at the restaurant with a woman, and they got seated right next to us.

Before Bob said hello to him, he mentioned to me that the guy moonlighted during the weekends as an impersonator of a 60’s Welsh singer. The guy is so into what he does, that his mobile ringtone is that of one of the artist’s songs.

Even more, the guy doesn’t silence his phone when it rings, so the song comes up full blast for the whole office to hear. Then all the guys start shouting, “shhh, turn it off!!”

When Bob finally greeted his colleague, the guy introduced the woman he was with as ‘his wife to be’. Bob then introduced me to them, also saying ‘my wife to be’.

I quickly turned and looked at Bob with total surprise (as in WTF??), and reacted without thinking by hitting him softly on his shoulder, with a look on my face of ‘get out of here’.

I don’t know why Bob made the comment, but if he wanted to impress both his colleague and me (maybe show off), he surely achieved that.

The third twist of the night was that Bob’s colleague said we should go see him perform the next night at some club I’ve never heard before. I thought to myself, “hell no!” Bob didn’t say anything about it, so I guess he felt the same way as me.

I think the night ended around 3 a.m. I was in his car and he drove me all the way back to the mall’s empty parking lot, and followed me home just before hitting the expressway for him to go home.

I can’t recall what was specifically said before getting into my car, but I’m sure I thanked and hugged him for the nice time we had.

The part about saying that ‘we should speak again’ was probably added to the mix. I mean, it’s a given that this would be said.

If you’re wondering how I would describe this first date with Bob, I could say that it was fun and different. Fun because I went to two places that I enjoyed being at. Different because Bob treated me well and he stood apart from other guys I’ve met.

And, yes, I think it would be worthwhile to meet with him again. And, no, it doesn’t translate that we will do the club thing.

If I need to be entertained by an artist, it would be with the real one. But in this case, the ringtone will work just fine.

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{October 10, 2016}   The Swipe 3 – Phone call reruns

I decided to call Fish at night around 9pm that same Sunday. I thought by that time he should be almost done for the day and available to talk.

But when I did, it rang a few times and then went to voicemail. Instead of getting a personalized message, I got one of those generic electronic ones that only says that you dialed a certain number and the person was not available to take your call. It didn’t even include his name.

I waited to see if there would be some reply from him in either a text or callback, but none happened either. I felt disappointed and decided to watch some TV and then go to sleep.

I started questioning myself why did he give me his number if he doesn’t have the intention of taking my call? At least you could have told me your availability and best times to call. But, no; one has to guess if there is a ‘good time to call’ as such.

I did get some reply from him the next day at home when I was already back from work.

‘Sorry, I didn’t hear the phone,’ texted he. ‘I fell asleep on the couch watching TV.’ This excuse was so cliche it made me upset.

I think I gave this call thing a try a few days later (after getting my anger off) to have the same repeated scenario: no answer. And a lame reason to go along with it the following day.

‘Sorry I didn’t take your call. I was talking to my daughter helping her with homework.’

Really? What did you do, go over with her every pending assignment? You must have charged your phone about 3 times. Don’t you know what online chat is? Apparently not.

On the third try (now starting to feel like TV show reruns), he gave me the excuse that ‘he was in the middle of this huge argument with his ex-wife.’ I thought to myself, ‘probably because you never answer her calls.’ A bit more creative, but still lame.

The same episode got played over the next time around. He basically wasn’t answering or returning any of my calls, no matter what day or time during the week I did. What is it going to take for him to do it? What an ass!

I think the lamest excuse was one time when I questioned him over a text message why he wouldn’t take my calls: ‘I spend my whole day at work on the phone.  I don’t want to be on it when I come home.’ But you do take your ex-wife and daughter’s ones, right?WTF?

‘I spend my whole day in front of the computer,’ replied I. ‘When I get home I don’t want to be writing any more, especially texts. After doing that for a few minutes I don’t feel like it any more.’

Dude, if that texting thing works with your daughters, fine. But don’t behave like them. You’re not a millennial.

You and I come from a generation that answered and returned phone calls. But I guess you didn’t take the 101 course when we were in school or read the printed book that came along with the lesson plan.

And you work in marketing. You’re supposed to be creative. I may be involved in creative work myself, but even if I wasn’t, any woman like me would’t ‘buy’ what you’re saying, even if it’s true.

Your lack of originality makes you look boring and unintelligent. More like a snooze. And if this is the way you handle all women you swipe right on the app, no wonder you’re alone. Or, is there something else you haven’t ‘told’ me about?

 



{October 3, 2016}   The Swipe 2 – The Fish

I kept swiping left and right without any luck yet, until I see a photo of a guy (who I will name Fish) that really caught my attention.

‘OMG!’ I thought to myself. ‘This guy attended the same college I did during the time I was there. Wow. I don’t recall knowing him, but at least it’s to my advantage having something in common. It’s a perfect conversation starter. Hopefully he has swiped right for me. Yes, he did!’

I immediately sent him a message highlighting the school aspect and that we needed to talk about it. I wanted to say ‘meet’, but I didn’t want to come across as desperate.

I checked out his photos and liked that he appeared in different ones, like with family (dancing with a young woman at a party while wearing a nice suit), dressed in a Halloween costume (Fred Flintstone), him running in mud (probably participating in some extreme sport event).

Although the age had changed in these images, he still had a nice face and body for being in his late 40’s, which was good for me, as I like guys who take care of themselves.

His location was still far from mine (about a 2-hour drive), but I kept reminding myself that I needed to keep an open mind.

Through our conversation I learned that he was originally from the Northeast and relocated with his then wife and daughters (he has 2) after getting a job offer (he works in marketing) down here, which also allowed him to escape the nasty winters. He also likes to exercise by running and going to the gym.

I didn’t ask him how long he has been divorced for (I want to keep that topic out just yet) and is in the routine of sharing time with his children every other weekend.

I continued the chat for a bit longer until I thought it was time to ask the main question: should I get his number or should I give mine first? Email perhaps? I said to myself that if I was to do this, I was to do it right.

I decided to ask him for his info. That way I can see how he reacts. If he gives me the run around, or notice any ‘red flags’, then I know that he is lying to me.

‘So how do you want to do this? Exchange emails?’ asked I via text. He replied by giving me his number. OK, all seems fine so far.

The next step was to check his number online and it confirmed that it was indeed him. I also got his last name and social media profile.

The profile had additional photos besides the ones on the app and all seemed under control. He appeared with other photos with his daughters, which made me understand he is a devoted father. The girls looked like they have been raised well, so that was another bonus point for him.

I checked everything that I had access to. He was the real person indeed, but wanted to gather as much other information about him as I could.

I was excited that I just joined a dating app and got a result that seemed worthwhile. It made me believe that these type of sites could actually turn out good.

So, I got his number. What am I going to do now? Of course I will call him. Question now is when would be the right time. Tonight? During the week? Weekend? Heck, I don’t know. ‘There’s never a right time.’ ‘The time is now.’ ‘Just go for it.’ Which will I choose?

Technology may have been created to make our lives easier, but when it comes to love, reality is that you can’t reboot or update it. It will always be scary, confusing, and most often, heartbreaking.

Making ‘the right call’ will always be difficult to do.



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