The New M.E. Generation











The next morning I rushed to work as usual, so it didn’t give me much time to speak to my friend, which was great to avoid last night’s situation. It was a long weekend and celebrating my birthday, so that’s what I wanted to concentrate on.

Work finished early around 4pm and I rushed home, as we were having dinner with a couple friends of mine whose wife is also a graduate of our school.

My then friend helped me choose my clothes, something he had done before. I didn’t feel intimidated or upset about his opinion after all these years, something that with other guys I’ve not been that easy with.

We met my friends at the restaurant and it was nice to be out with a guy and another couple, which hasn’t happened in a long time.

As we were having drinks at the table, my friend grabbed my hand and held it with both his on the table. “Are you okay babe?” asked he. I reacted surprised, as I wasn’t expecting it. I replied with a ‘yes, I’m fine’, with a face that I was happy with all that was happening. I let him hold my hand until food was served.

After dinner, the couple invited us to their place for additional wine. They also have a pet parrot; I then remembered that my friend’s mom had one that lived cageless and was infamous for what it would do or say.

When I asked him about it, he said it has passed away about 6 years ago. I also remembered about 2 small dogs that had vegetable names like ‘yucca’ and ‘onion’ because of their hair color.

He explained that when his mom decided to move was able to place them with other families. What I didn’t remember was that there were many other pets in the backyard, including turtles, which I don’t recall ever seeing. It sounded to me like a zoo and baffling that my memory had failed me on this one.

At one point when my friend was away from all us, the wife said to me, “OMG, you can totally tell he only has eyes for you by the way he looks at you. He’s totally into you.”

I was caught off guard again with her comment. Her husband and her have been good friends all these years and their opinion was important to me. I didn’t agree with them always, but knew that what they said to me they did because they cared.

The question about the possibility of being in a relationship with me came to mind again. But I replied to my friend something to the extent that I didn’t like his constant moving and that bitch ex of his was still present in his life. She looked at me as in ‘take advantage of the here and now’.

My then friend was claiming he was really over the bitch and had taken her out of his social media profile. He even said that ‘he wasn’t going to hide anything,’ meaning being quiet about posting photos or comments, including one image of us in a friendly hug. He was now ‘a free man’, able to do whatever he wanted and wasn’t going to care what other people thought or said, including his so-called ex.

I was enjoying the moment and was looking forward to much more the next few days. That was the ‘now’ that I was feeling, besides that voice in my head that kept circling like a major warning that something bad would happen.

Little did I imagine that the actions and photos of that day, and the following ones, would have so much impact in my life, even today, and he would be the one to blame.

Let’s say that I never pictured the after events that came from him. If there’s a ‘poster child’ for lies and betrayal, his image would be front and center. Smile, you’ve been framed!



Fast forward a couple of years later and this time my ‘x’ left me and filed for divorce. It was a very difficult time. My father had passed suddenly early that year; my boss had made my work miserable from day one, and with my life falling apart because of these two events, he took advantage of doing everything in his power to make my performance suffer even more.

Within a 6-8 month period, the divorce was finalized, lost my job, and I moved out of my home and all that my life represented to that point.

Eventually I moved into an apartment; it was the first time ever I’ve been on my own and taking responsibility for everything.

I don’t know where my friend was in all this. My first memory into single life was he calling me to the apartment letting me know he had accepted a job in the Northeast and was already there.

He also called to introduce me to ‘his family’: a woman and son who would be living with him. Even more, he put her on the phone so we would meet.

I was so overwhelmed I didn’t question him on any details of how it all came to happen. I don’t even know (or remember) what he said about me, or our friendship, to this woman.

When she spoke to me she sounded OK, nothing then that impressed me or raised a red flag.

I was probably more concerned about losing our friendship than anything else, especially now, plus I trusted him he would do the right thing, or so I thought.

Once we both settled down, the calls went back to the usual routine. But now we would discuss our emotions more now that my relationship ended and he was in one that he referred to as ‘a marriage without papers’.

We kept supporting each other and would tell each ‘we would be fine’. But such a statement was easier said than done.

We were now more than 10 years older, gone through too many rough moments and in a stage in our lives that anything we set out to do could go either way.

Gone were the years that you felt you could overcome anything that was thrown at you, that there was a way to make things better, that by putting your best effort, you would get what you hoped for.

It was a time of ‘let’s see what happens’ and of knowing that all that had significance to you could be lost in an instance; leaving you with scars that not even the best medicine could heal.



Although my high school friend was a disciplined student and had good grades, his pranks eventually caught up to him. His parents were called by the school administration way too many times hoping to resolve this issue, but to no avail. His mom literally told the principal, ‘do what you need to do’.

Even some of his classmates turned against him, even when they were not affected by any of his actions. The rumors started running high, even that he had committed plagiarism in his Senior year term paper.

The Engligh teacher met with him and asked him to talk about the work in general. After my friend gave an extended speech about the topic, references and else, the teacher handed back the draft and said to him, “you’re good to go”.

Academically he was doing all that he needed to do to ensure entrance to college. But because his conduct was so bad and the rumors so out of hand, and the school couldn’t take action against him for his grades, they did it where it hurt the most: he was told he couldn’t be part of the graduation ceremony.

I got really sad and shocked when he personally told me. I knew things were bad, but never thought that of the few people I was friends with this could happen to him.

This would be the first of many moments I witnessed the betrayal of people to those I cared about or myself. It didn’t necessarily create a sense of distrust towards others, but more in that they can turn against you at any time without any valid reason.

“Don’t ever give your life away to any religion, political movement, or even less a man,” preached he to me during that time. He also manifested his dislike for a particular type of people, an issue that didn’t surface again accidentally in the present time.

I never understood where this one came from and I never allowed myself to be influenced by it. I believe I have always been good to others, and many have taken advantage of it by mistreating me.

I used to give people many chances, especially guys, but with this guy’s betrayal, I have become stronger in my personality and discard quickly anything that’s toxic or represents a threat to my wellbeing, just like he has.

So the question is, how is it possible for a person, who gave you the right guidance to survive the world, change to the total opposite of what he taught you?

How is it possible that after all the negative I’ve gone through, was able to make it through it all and still have hope for the future?

How do you explain an over 30-year friendship going bad and looking at a person become totally unrecognizable to you?

Why am I still standing in the light and he is in the lowest, darkest period of his life?

Someone saved my life tonight”. Yes, universe, I know it’s you.



“I appreciate that you were not of those guys who took advantage of me. You never lead me to do anything I wasn’t prepared for considering how young I was,” said I. “You’re right, I shouldn’t be surprised about the good things you’ve said about me. I’ve been reconnecting with other people from high school and college, and all pretty much has expressed the same. It’s unfortunate that the person I gave my heart to never saw it.

So, yes, that’s what I’m frustrated about. My life has not turned out how I wanted it be since being single, but what can you do about it?

Thanks for writing back and being concerned about me. Remembering the past has been good medicine.”

“I am glad to hear that I’ve managed to make you feel better. And, please, stop with the ‘I ignored you’ thing. That’s a bit of a strong statement,” said he. “I’m sorry that the relationship didn’t work out the way you wanted it to be, but there’s a master plan and I guess it was not meant to be.”

A master plan? I thought I had that one figured out. Now I don’t even know what I’m doing next.

“Master plan? Seriously? You guys are too complicated to figure out,” continued I. “It’s simple; you either want to be with me or not. And just be straightforward and say what you mean.”

“You think we’re complicated? Hmmm.”

Ah, yeah. And now that I’m thinking about it, you were too. If you hadn’t been I wouldn’t be spilling out all that I’m saying here. Heck, most probably we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Like I’ve said before, life just keeps repeating to me.

Wait! Is this the master plan he’s talking about?

Am I supposed to deal with things over and over until I get it right, and then my life will finally fall into place?

Hmmm, maybe that’s what it is.



et cetera