The New M.E. Generation

The ‘beach guy’ told me the location of the seminar, which is about at least a 3-hour drive. And if I was to drive on a Friday after work, who knows what the ETA would be.

Then there was the situation that I would get there late on Friday evening and then he would be at the seminar the whole next day. What the hell was I to do? Lounge at the pool?

And what about Sunday? Was he staying all weekend or driving back home right after the event was over?

So, in other words, his plan is to go through all that effort, including a nasty traffic on the highway, plus a good chunk of gas, in exchange of a few hours meeting to learn if ‘there’s still some chemistry here?’

Even more, there was another issue that was going around my mind. ‘Where you will be is not that close to me,’ wrote I on my text. ‘Even with no traffic it would be at least 3-hours drive. And, yes, I had basically written you off.’

That’s what it meant, literally, since our last ‘conversation’ was through texts because he never answered my calls.

‘Another thing,’ continued I, ‘what’s the deal with your girlfriend?’

‘We’re still together,’ said he, ‘but things are not doing well at all.’

No kidding. So I am now like a generic medication. You want to try this, plus the real thing, and see which gives you the best results for your problem.

I wasn’t surprised at what he told me, but still managed to get me somewhat upset. I think it had to do more with getting flashbacks to the past than getting dumped for someone else.

It was more of a realization that it wasn’t all that about what I felt about him in high school, but that then and now, the guy was just playing games with me and used me for his convenience, him knowing well how I felt about him.

‘I don’t like when guys dump me and then reappear,’ wrote I. ‘I’m not here for people to use me as leverage to compare their feelings.’

‘You’re right. I need to figure out or resolve my relationship. Maybe another time will be better.’

Yeah, like, when? When the ocean drags you in and washes you out?

Not even the strongest medication can alter the side effects of what I’m feeling inside towards you.

The best prescription for all these guys doing the same thing: take a daily of dose of patience, mixed with good self-esteem and love of oneself. Swallow slowly and wait for all to go away (men included).

It was a weekend like any other when, out of the blue, I get a text message during my sleep. I literally jumped when I heard the phone buzz as I usually don’t get texts to start with.

I opened the text to read it (‘Hello Emma how are you?’), but my phone did not match the sender from any one of my contacts.

I couldn’t recognize the number either, but something else did get my attention; I received it at 3am.

Who is this person who included my name on the text?

I didn’t respond to it. I went back to sleep and later on during the day I checked the number against my contacts list in my computer. No match either.

I then did a search on the Internet and the number appeared for the city that Jesse told me he lived.

‘Well, look who resurfaced!’ I thought. Wow, it’s quite something to be remembered.

So, now what? Am I going to respond or not? Whatever, he is in another state and I’m here. So he’s just probably saying hello and wanting to know how I am. That’s it, nothing else.

Yes, I’ll answer…later. I have other things to do.

I didn’t give Jesse much thought after my conversation with Madelyn. It is what it is and I don’t need to let things give me any more anxiety than they already have.

Besides, I was clear on this one. I took his number down, so I was in charge of what would happen next.

So, I did it my way; I waited a few weeks to go by and decided to text him. Yes, texting. I thought I should try something new besides a phone call.

And, because it was my first time doing so, I couldn’t wait to learn how he would react.

(My text): ‘I told you I would get in touch with you.’

‘Sorry, I don’t recognize this number,’ replied he.

‘Can’t believe you don’t remember me!’

‘Still don’t know who you are.’

‘That’s because of all the girls you probably hit on the night you tried to pick me up.’

He still was not getting who it was until a few more messages later. The interesting thing was that the phone never got involved throughout the entire time. Even more, when Jesse finally realized it was I, his tone changed.

Although he was at work, he was able to easily put into a few words what his impression was of me.

He had to keep it down, and I meant the words, in case he got caught, like someone taking a look at this phone (or maybe his pants).

The texting didn’t end up on anything. He was busy so we just finished the ‘exchange of words’ with some ‘TTUL’.

I was laughing at how it all turned out. Best of all, he didn’t chase me again into seeing me or anything else.

Hopefully he got satisfied and will perhaps look for someone more his age who will go for his pick-up lines…or so I thought.

I didn’t heard of Ivan for a while or make an effort to contact him. My hope was that he had taken some action on his issues like having a conversation with his girlfriend upon his return and that family member whom he had an argument with. Even more, that he had resolved the issues in some way.

But knowing how he was, I had the feeling that he probably kept on with the relationship, letting things get worse or hoping they might be solved on their own.

With his relative, he probably had a normal phone conversation without addressing what happened.

In other words, I was not going to intervene or discuss the matter with him again. I decided that it was better for me to step back and let it be. If he wants to contact me, fine, if not, fine too.

And soon after I ‘let him go’, I learned over a text message (again) that things did get resolved, but in a whole different way.

‘My girlfriend cheated on me.’


I really thought that after that last phone call it was definitely over between Ivan and me. I had completely taken him out of my existence when, out of the blue, he sent me a text message sometime past 10 pm, when I was already asleep. It read the basic ‘how are you?’

This is so weird. He has never, ever, initiated a call or text before. For this to happen it’s because something extraordinary happened, even really bad. I thought about the possibilities such as that he lost his job, his health is not well, or perhaps it had something to do with his family.

Since I knew he is not much of a talker, the ‘conversation’ was continued electronically, through which I learned that his girlfriend was traveling and he was out at a bar with some friends.

Hmm, so you’re texting me because: (a) you’re realizing not getting involved with me was a mistake; (b) I’m happy with my woman, but could use some company while she’s away; (c) things are not going well and have no one else to ‘text’ to; (d) all of the above.

The texting continued until he finally revealed that things were indeed not well from his end. Of course, he didn’t specifically say what that entitled; that’s the way he always dealt with things. He would just let you know enough, but not enough to reveal his emotions or true self.

He would always say, ‘everyone has problems’ in an attempt for others to see his situation as unimportant or lesser than their own. In a way he was reacting like me; he was protecting himself from feeling any more pain than what he already was.

The conversation continued and I offered him to come over the next evening and talk, if he wanted to (or was open to that). I knew he was going to say ‘no’, but I gave it a shot. And in a twist of events, he said ‘yes’.

Damn, it must be really bad, whatever his situation may be. I hope he does show up tomorrow. Still, he can reverse to his old ways and give me the excuse that he doesn’t like talking about his issues.

Hmm, sound to be this is all about option ‘b’.

et cetera