The New M.E. Generation

Nope, I did not see this one coming, and it was a first for me when Alex told me the following over the phone. “I would like you to spend the night with me.”

Holy! What? Say again? Did I get that right? My internal ‘mute’ button quickly activated. My mouth was open and my eyes were circling around while my mind analyzed what I just heard.

“Aah…(pause) Do we have to have sex?” is all I could ask.

“Nothing will happen that you don’t want to.”

(What are you saying? I’m still trying to decipher the first part.) “OK?…”said I.

“Is that a yes?”

“OK as in I guess I understand what you are asking of me? You have caught me off guard again and I’m speechless.”

“I know I’ve really put you in a difficult spot. My intentions are true for you and will never hurt you. Think about it and whatever you decide I will be fine with it,” concluded he.

We agreed that I was going to do that and meet again to discuss. Why meet? We’ve been doing most of our conversations online or by phone and it was understood this type of matters needed to be addressed the old fashioned way: face to face.

I sat back on my sofa, the place I’ve done a lot of thinking and decision making in the past. Many of them have involved a lot of pain and crying, and now was one of those moments.

Alex’s proposition was a very serious one to me. He wanted a committed relationship and me, not yet. He obviously was not into this for just the fun of it and neither was I.

But he also said that ‘nothing would happen unless I wanted it to.’ OK? So, if I decide to get in bed with him just to sleep (and don’t want to have sex!), will he leave me alone the rest of the night?

Get real Emma! He’s a guy! He’ll say anything to get you to his bed and then some! Do you honestly think he won’t do anything when he has a girl next to him??

Hmm, I wonder that too. I mean, he hasn’t tried to kiss me or expressed any type of emotions physically like hugging or holding hands. So, there’s a possibility he might actually be telling the truth.

Now I’m really curious to find out. Maybe instead of being afraid about this, I should go for the non-sex approach and see what happens.

Talking about putting this guy to the test.

My mind is still drifted away to another time and I’m feeling sad. The technician probably interpreted my facial expression as that of lack of courage to ask him a question about the content of the pamphlet, and makes an additional comment about the current topic under discussion (the ‘s’ word).

“Remember,” he said, “that you must never share needles, and always wear protection.”

“Oh, like him using a condom.”

“Yes, but also you, like the female version of it.”

The female condom? Oh, yeah, I heard about it a long time ago, when I way married and didn’t pay much attention because I thought it was not that important.

And here I am now making a totally moronic comment about such a serious topic. How ignorant of me for not learning about it, assuming my married life would go on uninterrupted. Now that’s a sad reality check.

My mind is still analyzing all that I’m swallowing when I finally make a (hopefully not moronic) question:

“So it doesn’t matter if I have intercourse with multiple partners, as long as they or me wear protection, I’m safe, right?.”
(Did I just ask that? What am I saying? I haven’t gone to first base with anyone and I’m shooting for a home run?)

The technician was looking at me with a face of ‘in what planet have you been all these years?’ and spoke the enlightening quote that summarized the moment:

“Whatever you decide to do with your life, you need to put yourself first.”

Wow! That’s deep, but very true. I spent so many years doing the opposite because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do.

In a certain way, yes, I was living in a different world. I gave up so much of myself to the point I didn’t recognize who I was any more. And in the end (what’s his name) left me simply because ‘he was not happy.’

Analyzed in another way, he put himself first, not the marriage or me, and when the going got tough, the tough got going.

“Done,” said the technician in regards to the lab report. “If the results pinpoint to anything, you’ll be surely hearing from us.”

I hope this is the last I hear from you. This ‘quickie’ sex education class is about to give me high blood pressure.

“Thank you so much,” I said to him. “Bye.”

I’m glad the lab guy is gone.

I need to go shopping.

et cetera