The New M.E. Generation











I may have had bad luck with guys, but I’ve learned to appreciate the good things that happen to my male friends.

Maybe it is because I can see that one day I can have what enriches their life, including hopefully finding a new love for me. But how can that happen if I don’t even score a date? I haven’t had one in such a long time, I don’t even know what that is any more. Whatever, I’m not going to get annoyed by this. I’ll just throw it into the universe and see what happens, if that.

I completely forgot my need for a date when something totally new to me happened. One day I made a comment to one of my male friends posts, and, on the next day, another guy posted a comment that was directed more to me than at my friend.

‘Damn dude,’ said this other guy, ‘I didn’t know you had such a pretty friend. She and I should go out together.’

Thank you, whomever you are, for making that remark for the whole network of people to know about. Besides, that photo of yours doesn’t show much of you, so not very impressed here.

I mean, who is this guy anyway?

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To my surprise, the guy responded to my emails and finally gave me his name, Alex. He also agreed with me about being friends first and keeping it if nothing else evolved. “A friendship always remains,” is what he said.

Hmm, deep thought. Wow, sounds I came across somebody with intelligence. Yep, he’s definitely someone up my alley. Someone that maybe I’ll finally find what I’m looking for.

Why didn’t I thought about it before, establishing a friendship? Duh, there was no chance at that. Either I clung to the guys because I needed to fill an emotional void, or the guys just wanted to have fun, or had no interest in getting involved for whatever reason. There was no chance of anything serious because the foundation was never laid.

And why should this guy be any different? For starters, at least we’re on the same page, and have agreed to continue communicating via email until we feel is time to take the next step, talking on the phone. It may sound stupid, but it’s not to me.

I just want to get it right even if at least once. I don’t think I’m asking that much from the universe, am I?



So Sunday came and I’m excited that I finally get to meet up with Christian. I got my things together and headed to the marina at the time he had indicated me to be there.

I got there just on time and waited on my car at the marina parking for his call. Upon his arrival, I would get in the boat and away we go.

About 15 minutes had passed after the meeting time, so I decided to call him.

“I’m so sorry,” said Christian, “the boat’s motor is not running as it should and we’re working on it.”

(Oh no! This is not happening, the meeting that is.) “Do you think it can be resolved?”

“Yeah, this kind of thing does happen once in a while, so we know how to fix it. The question is how fast it can be done.”

I hung up with Christian. He pleaded with me not to leave, that the problem would be solved and kept his word on meeting.

I’m still sitting in the car, wondering again why is this all happening to me. Can’t believe how complicated this meeting has become.

Have I been jinxed or something?

Is the universe telling me that this is not going to work? It sure looks that way. The details of what have happened before today can’t be any more clearly.

Yep, I think this is doomed. And, once again, I’m in a crossroad (while sitting on my car) to decide what to do here.

Christian said he would call back once the problem was solved. Do I think he will? Yes. Do I think I will get to see him today? (Between you and me) no.



I said good-bye to Dina and ‘the hand at the thigh guy’ and after entering my car, the two left still walking holding hands. I was happy for her, but somewhat concerned to how the night would end for her, meaning if he were a descent guy, etc.

It’s been a while that neither of us had met someone and when it does, it feels like the first time: being clueless, insecure and scared of what the outcome might be.

I got home and did the usual procedure after being out for the night, including emptying the purse I used of all its contents.

I took out the business card and read what was written in the back. It read ‘Christian’ and a mobile number.

‘Christian?’ I thought to myself, ‘it sounds too religious to me. I mean, of all the endless possible names to consider for a baby boy you chose this one?? No, I don’t like it.’

All right, I admit that I’ve asked repeatedly for some divine intervention from the universe as it relates to love, but did you had to send him? What are you trying to tell me?

I know I’m not supposed to judge others on a name, but I’m not really getting a vibe from this one.

So, what am I going to do? Realistically speaking, there are no other candidates to consider.

Ok, ok, I’ve made my decision. I’ll wait for a couple of days to go by and then I’ll give him a call. I’m not sure if this is the best thing to do, but at least I won’t look desperate (I think).

Decision made. Time to go to sleep.

Let’s see what happens.



After Jay left, our correspondence continued and we were missing each other terribly. Saying good-bye to him at the airport was very hard. We kept hugging each and I tried not to cry. I didn’t look through my rear view window when I drove away because I was just too sad.

The waiting for his arrival felt forever and, now that he was gone, my place felt very empty and lonely as before he came. It was as if he had never made the trip.

About two months later, Jay came back for another week that, of course, included more water skiing, but no travel to the resort.

This time around, he got more of a taste of what my life was about. He got to see Dina again, met Madelyn, and I took him to the different places that I usually go out to.

I even told my friends and family about him. I communicated to others that Jay was someone special that was now part of my life, and all were happy that there was someone else to whom I was special too as well.

Jay even expressed for me to go visit him a few months later at the lake community he was living at. This way, I could really get a sense of his life as a whole now that he got to know mine, and as a way to hopefully continue whatever we had going.

Yes, the relationship conversation was again brought up. The original agreement of continuing to see other people, only as friends, and to keep the communication or honesty open, was to stand.

The second time around went equally as good, but as soon as he left, uncertainty about the future about our relationship quickly sink in once again. This was the last time that, for now, Jay could visit me. And even if I did go to Canada, what was to happen between us after I returned home was in question.

I mean, people were happy for me, but everyone was having the same concern as well. They were glad to learn that I had a love in my life, but what were the chances of a long distance relationship of ever working out?

Forget about the mutual feelings and that we were both different from each other in so many ways. The distance factor was one that, in the end, would do just that, end anything.

I’m digesting all this and can’t come to a conclusion. I figured out that, for now, I’ll go visit him, see how that goes, and take it from there.

And, yet again, I’m throwing all this into the universe, hoping it will give me some direction or answer to my uncertainties.

And it did, but not exactly in what I was shooting for.



One the day before Jay was scheduled to leave, he and I were having dinner at home and I thought discussing our relationship before he left was the right thing to do.

“Jay, do you think we’ll ever have a chance of making, whatever we have together, work?”

“Well, it will definitely be a challenge.”

“Listen, I know I’m still dealing with baggage from my divorce, and if I don’t get my life back on track, I won’t be able to be happy with you or any other person, period.

Also, I don’t want you to think that because we’re ‘together’ that you can’t go out or be friends with other women. I appreciate that you consider me your girlfriend and everyone in your world knows about me. But I also want to be fair and realistic about our situation.”

“I’m grateful for you being open about this and the best thing to do is that we keep being honest with each other and talk about it if the situation occurs.”

We finished dinner and enjoyed the rest of the evening, but talking about other things.

Jay was sad for leaving; I was very much indeed. He said he had another vacation time about a month later and would definitely try to make it back. He also mentioned for me to go visit him some time after his second possible visit, right after the winter had concluded and the weather was bearable for me to withstand.

Sounds like a plan, but so far away, like the time before he came down which seemed would never happen.

I am so happy that this trip happened, but once Jay leaves my life goes back to as before, back to the uncertainty of what lays ahead, and now with an added stress of what the universe is holding for me with this long distance thing.

Can anyone up there send me a clue or something, please?



The first few days of Jay’s visit went very well. In fact, they were too good to be true. We both were very comfortable with each other. Everything that we did together felt very natural; it just flowed with ease.

On the third day of his trip, we drove to one of the locations of the resort he had worked for. It was in an area I’ve never been before, and the trip, more than that of the road kind, felt more like I was headed to a romantic trip, like a honeymoon.

We got to the place about two hours later and, upon arrival, many memories from my previous trip with Dina flashed before my eyes. My feeling was that this trip would be as equally memorable.

After checking-in, leaving the bags in the room, etc., we toured the resort and took advantage of some of the available activities before dinner.

Jay also located former co-workers and the encounters were as much joyful as they were a few months back.

Some hours later, when the activities were pretty much over for the daytime and the sun started to come down, Jay and I got some drinks and settled on a hammock.

After some chatting about simple things, I leaned my head on Jay’s shoulder and stared straight at the sunset. I was still wearing my sunglasses.

It was again one of those moments when I was able to briefly forget all that I’ve gone through, and allow myself to feel happy for a change. I felt a peace within me that I hadn’t for the longest time.

It was yet another almost perfect moment. I exhaled and felt that the wall I had built in front of me to protect myself came crashing down.

“I’m not here to play games,” said I to Jay while still looking forward.

“Me either.”

I felt like the universe had finally given me what I’ve asked for so long; true love.

If only I could always feel this way…



From this point forward, it was basically just waiting for the day for Jay to finally arrive.

We were both counting the days and, as the date got closer, time seemed to have slowed down to an almost halt.

But the day did arrive and it was like a dream that almost never happened. I drove to the airport and my anxiety level started rising again.

I had cleaned my apartment, got my car washed, dressed up nicely, you name it. I just wanted everything to be perfect.

I entered the airport and Jay’s terminal was the last one of all and getting to it seemed endless. I kept driving slowly, looking everywhere to be sure not to miss where I was supposed to stop.

I’m almost at the end of the terminals when I see Jay standing against a wall. My heart jumped with joy. I stopped the car next to him, got out of it and ran to him.

“You’re here!! Can’t believe it!!” I said to him while hugging him. Jay was hugging me back equally enthusiastically, but shaking as well. “Look at you,” I said, “you’re more nervous than I am.”

I stopped hugging him and Jay placed his hands on each side of my face, caressing it. He then gave me a kiss, which I returned with very much affection as his.

We stayed like that for I don’t know how long. I do remember feeling so happy, so loved, that for the first time in such a long time, something good had finally happened to me. It was one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ moments that you wished it would never end.

After the kissing, we did some more hugging. Even some tears of joy came down my eyes. It was a beautiful day; the sun was shinning and the weather was inviting to stay outdoors.

It was as if the whole universe had come together in a perfect symmetry and made this day close to that.

“How about getting out of here?” I said to him. I helped Jay put his stuff on my car. It was around 10am.

Wouldn’t it be too much to ask the universe to keep this vibe just for a few more days (at least until Jay leaves?), please?



et cetera