The New M.E. Generation

I wasn’t expecting for Madelyn to throw me a lifeline or anything related. But my initial encounter with Ricky does involve her.

Madelyn had invited me to an art event and, as usual, asked Dina to tag along as well.

I remember that time of my life very clearly. The dissolution had just occurred and I was an emotional wreck. I was trying to put a good face but it was just very hard for me to do that.

Madelyn and Dina were inviting me to anything even if it sounded like a crappy event. Dina would say that they would invite me because ‘I was the honey that attracted the bees.’ The real deal was that both were making endless efforts to distract me from my reality, which was very sad.

The rejection from the separation really affected my self-esteem. I had lost at least 15 pounds and my diet basically consisted of a cup of coffee and a glass of juice in the morning. That was it for the entire day.

I was avoiding looking at myself in the mirror because I didn’t found myself pretty inside or outside.

Trying to dress up to go out was even more difficult. Nothing that I wore could make me feel good.

I don’t know how, but I managed to pick something simple and safe, a white sleeveless dress. It didn’t say much, which in a manner correlated with my life at the time.

‘I’m a divorced woman,’ was all that kept popping in my head. Whatever else crossed my mind is now a blur and can’t remember any of it.

For the next I don’t know how many days, or weeks I believe, Brian and I contacted each other either by phone or text messages.

His communications, though, were very brief. If we spoke, the conversations lasted an average of 5 minutes or less, with ‘to the point’ remarks such as, “here, helping my kids with their homework,” “doing laundry,” “working on my boat,” which were usually followed by “got to let you go; talk to you later.”

His texting had been even briefer with messages like ‘working,’ ‘very busy,’ or ‘trying to put my kids to sleep.’

In other words, it was like when I didn’t hear from him after the networking event: he’s nowhere to be found.

I know I told Madelyn ‘I wouldn’t loose sleep over it,’ but I’m feeling irritated. I know it has nothing to do with me, but it still sucks.

Even worse, he never took me snorkeling and every time I spoke with him and his kids were around, I was getting the feeling he was doing it away from them.

I decided to ‘put it to rest’ and come to term with it when, sure enough, Brian called.

“Want to go to the beach and hang there for a while? I think I might even be able to catch some waves,” he said while sounding very wired.
(I’m getting scared.)
“You know what I did this morning??” (Do I want to know?) He continued sounding even more hyper.
(Please, no more bombs getting dropped on me!)
“I shaved my head!”
(Oh yes it did!)
“…Why?” is all I could formulate.
“Well, I’ve been cutting my hair very short with my own razor, and I decided to take it all off and see how it looked,” he continued.
(Now that’s a sight to see.)

I’m still holding my phone in shock over what I just heard, and nothing crosses my mind.

“It’s crazy, but I feel great! YEAH!” he then said.
(Yipee, the ‘surfer dude’ has returned.)

“Get your stuff ready, I’m picking you in about 30 minutes or so.”
“O…K…” is all I could say.
“By the way, do you surf??” he asked.
“No; scuba, snorkeling and boogey boards, yes.”
“I’ll teach you! Don’t worry, you’re in good hands (am I?). I was previously a lifeguard.”
(So the part-time ‘surfer dude’ and full-time firefighter was formerly ‘Baywatch’? Oh my! Is there anything else I need to be, or not to be, aware of?)

I know Madelyn told me I needed to get my adventurous side active again, but Brian’s ‘surfer dude’ persona has gotten me nervous. It’s like a whole different person had suddenly emerged in front of me.

I need to throw her another lifeline, a.k.a., have another girl chat.

I’m whining for about 5 minutes or so over the phone when she abruptly stops me in my tracks. “Emma! Just get your stuff, and yourself, together and go!! Call me later regardless if an adventure happens or not.”

She left me speechless like she always manages to do.

“I think…I can… do…that. Bye!” I concluded.

et cetera