The New M.E. Generation











I have a vague recollection of where the location of the palm reader was. The place was nothing to brag about. I felt totally awkward doing this, allowing a total stranger to talk to me about my apparent future.

My worries of the time were of any other person about to leave college: stay in the city you studied at, go home or try luck somewhere else?; what job should I go for?; will I make it?; how ill I manage to pay my loan?

Of course there was the concern about love. I hadn’t had that many relationships, other than that of my long distance one.

After turning 21 I was legally an adult and getting married was the natural progression in life.

But the thought of such a step scared me. I was a child of divorced parents, which greatly had an effect on me. My ex had also mentioned to me that he would have liked to marry me in the future, a proposal that I declined partly because my feelings has drastically changed and because I didn’t envision myself doing something of this magnitude in my early 20’s.

My friend talked to the female palm reader aside and asked her if he had a coupon I could use for my consultation of about $5 off, to which she replied, “she has the money.”

I went in by myself, placed my hand facing up on the table, and the reading started.

All that she said was very general and not that enlightening. At the same time my life was pretty bland, so what was there to see? Not much.

When it was time for ‘any questions?’, the only thing that came to mind was, “will I ever get married”, to which she replied, “yes”.

But that’s all she said, no physical description of the person, a year, or anything that could perhaps alert me if the moment had arrived.

“But if you pay me something extra I can tell give you his initials,” said she next. Oh boy!

I didn’t do it, of course, and left the meeting as blank as a book you can’t understand what you’re reading about.

I didn’t knew it then, but to get to a marriage, the commitment needs to start with myself, as in getting everything about me together, like two people would do, into a perfect one.

And that my friend, is one tough act to follow.

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Our friendship continued throughout high school without any setback. Our meetings occurred more due to a necessity, like me needing to get something at the pharmacy.

We both had things to do after school; I was active in school activities, tried to keep my long distance relationship going by sending my former BF letters and pictures of me, plus endless house chores that I was responsible for.

This guy worked every day at the pharmacy during the school week. Although his career goal was in another field, he learned al that he could about it and was helping his father manage it.

On occasions he would come to visit home to see my brother, but as the years progressed, we both concentrated more towards getting into college.

The ironic part was that I was an average student with good conduct and he was the opposite. He got notoriously popular for pranks he was pulling off, which got him in trouble far too long with the school administration.

I admired him for being daring, because I was insecure of coming out of my shell or doing anything that could affect my entrance to college.

One day we went to have lunch at a fast food place and he started telling me some of his stories. I couldn’t believe what he was doing; he wasn’t hurting or physically damaging anything, he was simply looking for attention as he candidly admitted.

Like me, our parents had gotten divorced and he was playing out the emotions he felt about it. What he expressed was harmless, but spoke volumes in other ways.

I kept listening to him and laughed a lot, amused by his creativity. But deep inside I envied him. In spite of having some parallels in our lives, I was keeping my emotions to myself. They were somewhat expressed through my letter writing and school clubs I was involved at. But I never had the audacity to really take a risk on anything close to his level.

He had also known what he wanted as a career from an early age. I had no idea what I was supposed to do all together. All I wanted to do was to graduate and come to college in the U.S. It was for me a secure way to run away from my current life and run into another, which future was as obscure as my present one.

And as always happened, the universe made itself present. It always had, but it has been a recent discovery of its ‘pranks’ in my existence.

While we were in the end part of our meal, and elderly man sitting at a table nearby would look at us from time to time. Of course I didn’t notice; I was feeling too sorry for myself.

When the man was almost done, he took a napkin and wrote something in it. Before leaving, he came to our table and handed it over to my friend. “Here’s something for you. Good night,” said he.

My friend and I got surprised. He read the napkin, smiled and laughed. He then handed it over to me; I don’t remember the exact words, but it had to do with my apparent beauty and how lucky this guy was of me being with him.

My reaction was a combination of puzzlement and surprise at what a total stranger had expressed about me. This would be one of many messages that literally dropped from the sky, or better yet, heaven, that would present to me when I needed it the most.

Back then I couldn’t grasp my true inner and outer essence, or that our friendship we were having, as well as the love and respect for each other, was also one of real beauty.

It’s heartbreaking sharing such a simple moment and think how we are now separated by an emotional distance that he chose to travel.

Perhaps the universe had another written message within the napkin. Maybe what my friend had told my former BF was also talking to him.

In other words, I could also slip away from him like sand between his fingers, and if I didn’t, consider yourself lucky.



I kept trying to locate him online, but continued to have no luck. I even enlisted the help of someone who had lived in his country, with the hopes that she could do a better search than me.

This person even traveled there for the holidays one year and I felt compelled to ask her if she could try to locate Johann.

But with the possibility that he was still married and I not knowing how he would react that me, via a total stranger, was looking for him, I thought it was best not to.

Although I told her about my connection with him, it was also a lot to ask for her to do, especially on vacation.

So when even her help didn’t work either, I decided to desist from it. I took it as a sign that maybe he wasn’t into me finding him and life was simply protecting me from getting hurt. It did anyway.

Many months went by and I was busy at something when he came to my mind. I was perplexed that I was so concentrated on what I was doing and this happened.

I had to stop all together and questioned myself, ‘what’s going on?’ I even felt confused and couldn’t find an explanation to what I was experiencing.

A few days later I was checking my emails in my profile when I received one that read, ‘are you Emma, the one who lived at this address?’

It was he! I saw his picture and knew it was he right away. He looked exactly as I remembered him.

All my memories passed through my mind in an instant. It was as if time had stood still.



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