The New M.E. Generation











Continuing with the laughable posts, then there were those when this guy and the bitch would go out to a bar or restaurant. The photos were pretty much the same: them two sitting side by side on the table or standing up, she putting her arms on his shoulders, he with his arms crossed or palms closed on the table without making contact, looking away from her, sometimes with a funny look on his face.

“Look how glassy his eyes are. He’s had more than a few drinks and has a buzz. So typical of him,” said my bestie. “Worst of all, all those locations he appears at, he took me there when I visited him. He probably did it on purpose hoping to come across with that bitch and make her jealous. ”

“Really?? He probably did the same with me when I was at his mom’s. What an asshole!” said I. “It always puzzled me, and made me uncomfortable, the times we would see each other that either we had to go out for drinks, or would be drinking one glass after the other like water at his mom’s house. They would be too loaded for my taste and could only take a few sips.

Even after telling him that I didn’t want to drink, he would offer it again over and over. I don’t remember him being that way before. He liked to have a few beers with me and that was it.

He even told me that when he was living with the bitch, they wouldn’t go out much because they lived in an expensive city. But that once in a while they forced themselves to go out and have just one drink.”

“If I was in his shoes I would be much the same,” said she. “He might be pretending all that he wants, even liking anything that bitch posts, but he’s not that happy as he’s portraying to be.”

“I agree, said I. “Look at his body posture. When someone is with their arms or hands closed, it means they’re hiding something, that are not being honest. His shoulders are down because of her arms holding him like if he was some property of her. And there’s always a gap in their bodies; they’re not touching completely, which means distancing.

And that photo of him standing up, he looks like an old man about to fall down and his caretaker is holding him to avoid that. Those glassy eyes makes him look like his mind is totally gone or has no idea where he is. The hands look bloated like somebody that has some medical condition. But, he’s still with her. Unbelievable.”

“Because it’s easier to go back to what’s familiar to you,” said she. “He couldn’t score anything with you. Me, I did want to be with him, but not on his terms. I wasn’t willing to let him control the relationship. I told him that if it happened, he had to change a lot of things about himself. He got upset about that and tried to turn the situation around against me, but I quickly put him on the spot.

He kept saying that, ‘this is the way I’ve been and will always be’, that ‘my OCD doesn’t let me do things differently’, that ‘the way I am has worked for me’. But he knows I don’t buy any of that, and was not going to feel sorry for him and let him manipulate me.

Being with the bitch works for him because he thinks he’s in charge. Because she behaves ‘como foca de circo’ (like a seal in the circus), that applauds him on whatever he says and does, that’s why it ‘works’.

Also, he always said that ‘él es un enfermito’ (he’s a kinky guy). It’s better to just reach for her and get what you need, instead of having to start from scratch with a stranger. I mean, look at him, who wants to be with him, especially with that religious fanaticism and unstable life?”, continued she.

“When he visited me and wondered if he could share my bed with me, it didn’t make me feel good. He had always told me to be choosy about the guys I would be with at any level. I may know him since being an adolescent, but his proposal gave me the same uneasy feeling as with any other man. It was like he was violating my trust for him. Besides, just thinking that he had sex with that bitch disgusts me. No way will I do it with him,” continued I.

“I really wish their relationship explodes big time, especially from her side. He kept telling me that she wanted to live in a way that was beyond their means. She likes getting her nails done weekly, buy nice jewelry, go out to restaurants. I hope when things financially get really bad and she realizes that her dream lifestyle will never be, she ends up leaving him,” said my BFF.

“She won’t leave him as long as you and I are on the loop,” said I. “If she does, in her mind it means she lost and it’s an open field for you to come back into play. And I’m 4 hours away from his mom’s house, which is also a threat to her. Plus she’s an attention whore; she has to keep up the drama in front of her peeps.

But when you’re in a toxic relationship, this is what happens. They’ll go down one day like you’ve said before. It will not end well.”

“You know what I thought about one time? Asking him to meet me in a hotel and when he opens the door, then both of us are there. I can just imagine his face when he sees us,” said she.

“Don’t worry. There will come a time that you and I will get the chance to get back at him, either in person or online. We’ll just know,” continued I. “A plan will be made and executed, guaranteed to give them both a big slap on the face. But as he always said, ‘calladita te ves más bonita’ (being quiet makes you look prettier),” concluded I.

Yep, pretty as in smart, intelligent, well-mannered, classy, and soon-t0-be, smart-ass.

‘I feel pretty, oh so pretty…’

 

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{June 13, 2016}   The Ex-Friend 39 – I say so

As the months progressed, I kept in touch with my then friend’s former high school GF. The more we shared and compared stories, the more upset and insulted I became of all the lies that this guy said to me and I kept believing for the longest time.

It was a feeling of having been living in the dark, to then have the biggest revelation ever, and seeing everything in its true light. It’s not a ‘I did not see that coming’ situation, but rather one that was finally laying out the reality that I so needed to know.

It’s not an easy process; it’s like someone dear to you passes away unexpectedly and you’re trying to figure out the why’s of everything, to eventually having to ‘bury them’ for your own good in an emotional place that you won’t remember later it’s there.

Even though I wasn’t following him on social media, I was curious to know about his whereabouts from time to time, hoping one day his toxic relationship would abruptly end like the first time. I know it’s not right to wish bad things to others, but with him, I think my hatred was as close as the one I had with my ‘x’.

Still, I kept his mom out of all this and would contact her every so often just to know how she was doing. At one point I called her and we chatted without either one mentioning him.

After that I think I called back around Mother’s Day, but this time the conversation took a turn.

“Emma, are you upset with my son or something?” asked she.

I paused and thought it over before giving her an answer. “Well, yes, I am. I had told him that if he went back with that woman that I wanted no business with him. When I saw them together again in social media and questioned him about that, he told me they weren’t together, which is not true,” answered I (restraining myself from saying ‘he lied to me’).

“She has changed 360 degrees,” continued she referring to that low class bitch. “And they’re planning to get married in October.” I felt my heart getting hit with a fist and chocking.

“I don’t know about that, but he wanted to have a relationship with me as a couple, to which he proposed to me several times,” said I. She didn’t comment on that. “He had also told me that, no matter what, he was to spend new year’s with you and I was invited to join you both.”

“He was unable to make it because he’s working so much.” (Lady, please, stop defending him.)

“The guy I knew would have been honest about anything that related to us both. And if he couldn’t make it for the end of the year celebration or anything else, after trying exhaustively to make it happen, he would have told me and apologized in advance, not leave me in limbo like he did.” I felt like saying ‘waiting like an idiot for him to tell me’.

The mom gave a response that I don’t quite recall, but somewhere along the lines of trying to justify her son’s actions again, to which I then said, “I am treating him the same he taught me I should treat men.”

There was another ‘5-second delay’ or more from her. I can’t recall either what she said next, but she abruptly ended the conversation, probably realizing that anything she said about this guy that related to me I would discredit immediately or, better just, step on it like a bad insect you want to get rid of.

‘Sorry, but you’re not winning this one’ was basically my attitude in this talk. Sad to think that this guy was a carbon copy of his mom; they both thought they knew everything or had all the answers to it all, that others were to blame for their circumstances (‘we’re fine and you’re not), except that the mom didn’t fight back when confronted with the truth like he has been doing.

I used to feel sorry for the mom, but not any more after this call. I know she’s old and dealing with a medical condition. But after all the while she has known me, she didn’t make any effort of siding with me at least once?

“¡Eso no sirve!” (that’s not worth it!) is what he always told me. True that. Lesson learned.

 

 

 

 

 



My next recollection of events was that the holidays were rapidly coming upon us, signifying 2 things: his birthday month and that he had told me the last time that we saw each other that, “no matter what happens, I will spending New Year’s with my mom, and you’re cordially invited to spend it with us.”

Instead, I got surprised with other types of ‘gifts’. First, my girlfriend (who this guy got to meet during my birthday weekend way back and now was also his social media friend) tells me that ‘that guy is back together with his girlfriend’. WTF?

I go online and, sure enough, there they were in a restaurant together, posing cheek-t0-check, with a caption that read to the extent of ‘thank you God for bringing us together again’ with religious and/or love emoticons. His profile picture had also changed and included the bitch, and she was hitting Like to anything he posted.

Wow, just a few months back he gave me a kiss, had expressed an interest in being with me, plus complained for over a year what a bad person this woman was, and now he’s back with her? Major slap in the face.

Even more, I came to the realization he had posted all those photos with me and ‘wasn’t hiding anything from anyone’ so that this woman would see them and make her jealous, most probably to agitate things between them again and get her back. In other words, he used me, big time, as a means to an end.

Those two never really disconnected from one another digitally, so this bitch saw all that this guy and I were posting online. That’s why them two were still having arguments and contact way after they broke up.

Him ‘not hiding anything’ meant he kept his profile public for everyone, especially her, to know about his whereabouts at all times.What an asshole this guy is; he always told me to keep things private, as one never knew the consequences a post could bring.

He knew what he was doing and did it all on purpose. Talking about ‘having an agenda’.

I texted him that ‘I can see you went back with her’, to which he replied ‘no, we’re not back together’. Liar, liar.

When December 24 occurred, I miraculously got a hold of him on the phone. I know I didn’t have to call him, but because of the season, made an effort to put my differences aside.

‘I wanted to call you before going to service…’; he almost didn’t let me finish the sentence, to say out loud instead ‘¡no dejes de ir a la iglesia!’ (don’t stop going to church!!), with a tone of voice that someone uses when ordering you to do something that if you don’t, you’re going to be very sorry for the outcome.

‘I’m on my way to church with (the bitch)’, continued he. Truth is he sounded very arrogant, like someone who wanted to show off in front of the whole world what a grand religious person he pretended to be, including that low-class human being.

He didn’t care of anything else about me; he didn’t wish me Merry Xmas, ask what my plans were, nothing at all. All that mattered to him was that I went to mass, because he was convinced it would ‘resolve’ all my issues just like he thought it would do with this toxic relationship of his.

I hanged up and didn’t call or text him the rest of the month. Of course the supposedly trip to be with his mom never happened. I saw the photos of him celebrating his birthday and the location was not his mom’s house.

He was dressed with a suit holding a cake with both hands. No one else were in the photos. He looked totally moronic and was now sporting a closed-mouth smile, one of those that psychologists define as ‘used by liars and people who have secrets’.

It’s sad to think that the friend I used to know would have called and tell me he couldn’t make it, that he was very sorry for misleading me into something even him couldn’t guarantee would happen.

He would have made every possible effort to be with his mom and if that couldn’t happen, it meant there were very powerful reasons beyond his control. But instead he chose to be with that other woman, the one he got to hate with a passion; the one with the so-called lesbian relationship; the one who lied, used and disrespected him; the one he never said anything good about.

Oh, there’s one: “I like getting home and finding a horny, naked woman in bed waiting for me.” That’s it. Actually, it’s not even good. It shows how sexual this guy is and that he went back with her just for that. Ok; no problem. I want to see how this will ‘feed’ you after your job ends and the bills pile up.

I later learned through other sources that the alleged story about the incident where he was kicked out of the house by his former work colleague and finding a place of his own was not how he painted it to be. Turns out the house’s owner didn’t told him to leave; this guy left it because he went to live with the bitch. And he made up this whole other lie to make his departure seem legit and fool me along the way.

I spent New Year’s with the same people I always do, and did it quietly and as with much peace as possible. My main resolution: tearing his whole being out of my life and tossing it as far as I could, the same way he did with his car’s license plate when he crossed the state line. In other words, a new year, a new me.

Does it hurt? Plenty. Does it bring me tranquility? I’m working on that. Am I going to get back at him for all he’s done? Let’s say I have my own secret agenda and he’s at the top of the list. Check!

 



et cetera