The New M.E. Generation











LedZep1 never replied to my response. From past experiences, guys never do. Even more, he was very clear when he said ‘don’t want to talk about it’, so…

What I’ve also learned is that either I get to see them again, or find out something from an indirect source that shows me their true colors or uncovers their lies. And I don’t have to do anything; the universe takes care of it. Mark my words: now or later, it will happen.

Case in point, it was the week before Easter and was driving to work as usual. Because many people are vacationing that time of the year, traffic was very smooth. I called my BFF (the one that have been making a case against him) to ask her if she had plans to go to church on Sunday. She wasn’t aware of the dumping text.

I also had gotten a new car (which this guy doesn’t know) with integrated Bluetooth. I was talking to her while driving in the center lane, when I see that particular license plate pass quickly through my right and then shifting all the way to the left.

Me: “I have to go”, said I abruptly. “Just saw LZ1.”

She: “What?? That guy still around?? Don’t go chasing him now!!!”

Me: “This car is in need of a real test drive.”

I hung up and off I went. At one red light I quickly text him: “Saw you a few minutes back. Morning.”

But his fast lane changes were hard to keep up with. I was hoping to catch him before he changed streets to get to his office, which I did. He was first on the left-turn lane; I was second in the lane next to it.

Me: “Next to you.” I could see his head moving back and around quickly trying to find my car. I didn’t wave at him or anything. His ‘where the fuck is she?’ reaction was priceless and definitely made my morning. I felt I got back at him in a small way.

Him (about 5 minutes later): “That was you in the green car? Lol, you got a new car and you’re a blond now? Morning.” (Enough with the lol’s!!)

Me: “Nope. I’m a ghost.”

Him: “Ok.”

Of course I wasn’t going to give it all away. Yes it’s true about the new vehicle, but by leaving things ambiguous, the mystery continues, and I get to have fun with it.

Strangely enough, this guy kept the texting going. I thought he would ignore me, but sort of left the conversation open. I mean, he clearly said he ‘couldn’t see me any more’ and I replied with a unfriendly message longer than his. So, aren’t we supposed to be not talking to each other?

Coincidentally, I met for dinner with my BFF (the relationship police) a few days later and told her about this. (Haven’t you noticed that each time I encounter LZ1 I meet up with her shortly after?). She laughed at my imagination, but quickly threw shade at him.

BFF: “I still think that guy’s married. All he needs to do is take his ring off, put it in his pocket, and that’s it!”, said she with a look of ‘anyone can do that’.

I saw him again about a week or so later. Considering the regular traffic, he was really going fast in-between cars. I texted him again that ‘saw you going past by me fast, etc.’, and he kept talking for a few minutes. It was basically the same type of conversation we used to share before his infamous message.

About a day or so later when I was looking at my memories on FB, I saw a post from last year that showed two images of the times I first saw his car, which happened to be on the same location as this year’s.

Which made me think, what would have happened if I had approached him those other times? I think either the outcome would have been like it happened now, or, maybe we would have dated for a year, to then get dumped by him under the same circumstances as outlined in his text. It would have ended either way.

For that reason, I made a screenshot of the post and forwarded it to him: “Incredible to think that around this same time last year I saw your car for the first time. You smiled at me when taking the picture. And now you’re gone… time changes everything.” He didn’t say a word.

So what happens now? Not much. Eventually all goes away, including me crossing paths with him.

I will probably bump into him here and there. But if that happens, I won’t text him. If I manage to be side by side to his car and he looks at me, I’ll do the same, wave with my hand in a ‘see you later’, and continue.

That guy’s love affair is between himself and his car, and there’s nothing that will break it apart. That’s what he chose and seems very content with it.

Ironically, on another day on my way to work, I was at a red light and see to my right this guy about my age in a really nice sports car. I looked up to the sky, laughed, and thought to myself, ‘going to let go of this one… for now’.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

 

 

 

 

 

 



What I remember next was that he had the help from a former colleague in moving out of the apartment and placing his belongings in the storage spaces.

I believed he then made the trip to his mom’s to leave one of the cars with her; the third one would stay with a couple friends of his.

I don’t recall if I saw him before he left to the Pacific. If I did, I probably got teary eyed when saying good-bye while giving him a hug, liked I’ve always done, when I knew it would be long before I saw him again.

I now look back and can’t believe how emotional I kept getting for him when he was showing the opposite feelings for me. I was so into keeping the friendship that I was allowing him to treat me like crap.

Yes, I was afraid of losing the only thing left that mattered to me, gave me security, a sense of self, anything and everything I relied on to have.

But unfortunately, when you place others before yourself, especially those who don’t deserve or haven’t earned it, they’re going to treat you badly.

And I’ve had this experience already happen with many others (including that person I was married with), so why was I in denial when reality was standing there right before me? Why was I being blind when he was showing his true colors?

If I didn’t get to see him and instead spoke with him on the phone, I probably got equally emotional, but didn’t say much about it. I would again have placed him first and not add additional pressure on him that he already had, or so I thought.

My next recollection of events was that he finally took flight and was posting every detail of his travel tagged with religious emoticons and thoughts.

It went down to something like this: he sat on the plane’s window taking photos of the sky, for example, and write, “thank you Lord for this opportunity as you’re with me all the way”. His favorite emoticon was of two hands together in prayer, which he used all the time on social media and texts, even if the event didn’t have a religious connection.

Or a post like, “look at that water that’s waiting for me down there and none of you will get to enjoy.”

In essence, he was trying to convey that he was headed to paradise and that his decision to go there was because the One above told him to, that ‘this is where he wants me to be right now, even though I don’t have an explanation as to the why of it.’

As the posts continued, they became too much for me. I felt like sticking my hand down the throat and puke at his absurdity. It was the same rhetoric over and over, like he needed continuous confirmation about anything that embodied him.

What it really sounded to me was that ‘the Man is giving me everything that I need because I am kissing butt big time to secure my place in the afterlife, which I know I have, and none of you are getting’.

He may be thankful of all the powers he supposedly was gifted from heaven, but it was clear as the blue sky that it was all about ‘me, me, me’, as in ‘me’ is better than you, ‘me’ gets all that I want, ‘me’ knows better than you, ‘me’ is untouchable ‘cause I got Him on my side and you don’t’.

He may have felt he was on top of the world and able to conquer it all, but his life was headed towards the worst transatlantic disaster he would experience.

Let’s say it certainly wasn’t going to be a day at the beach and would require more than his two hands held together to get a grab of it.

In other words, you never know what the tide might bring in, or like they say in aviation lingo, hold on tight to your seat, brace for impact, and hold your breath, ’cause you’re going down, down, down.



et cetera