The New M.E. Generation











Memories are like flood water: they never stop once they start flowing.

Case in point, a former high school teacher of mine was commenting on social media that the school had created a promotional video which included several photos of students throughout the decades. One of them had members from my class and, you guessed it, I was one of those in the image. (Note: This happened way before the ‘beach guy’ recently resurfaced.)

I kept it saved on my smartphone for emotional purposes. I hadn’t seen it for a while, then one day it dawn on me that this guy was in the photo right before mine. I know it was him because that particular image was included in a yearbook, which I got a copy of back in the day.

Still, I looked at the video again and paused it to be sure. I mean, what were the chances that he and I would end up in it when this was put together?? Think about it. It was like one of those moments when I get the feeling that the universe is trying to tell me something. What specifically? Don’t know.

Me: “Hey, check out this promo video from school. You’re in it.”

Him (the next day late in the evening): “I like it.”

Me: “Was that you in the b&w photo? Did you see me?”

Him: “Yes and yes. I had hair. You’re so cute.”

Oh no, here we go again with him telling me I’m pretty. Is he trying to compensate for it, because he never did before? I kept looking at the sentence, wondering if to take the opportunity to tell him directly that I wanted to see him. But every time I did, I held back.

Honestly, it all felt like that scene from the ‘Sex and the City’ movie, where the main character is reading several emails from her former fiancé, and the last one reads: “I know I screwed it up – but I will love you forever.” She covers her face using her hands, then looks at the screen confused as to what to do next.

She then thinks to herself: “I wanted to call him, but our love, Carrie and Big, volumes 1, 2 and 3, stopped me.” My situation felt similar like this, except that he never used these words with me, and is short (maybe I should refer to him as ‘Mr. Small’ from now one).

Me: “Check out my hairstyle! (face with tears of joy emoji). You should show it to your kids.”

Him: “I will.”

Me: “The video makes me nostalgic” (hint, hint).

Him: “Yes it does. It’s a great promo video.”

Me: “It makes me want to see you, but easier said than done.” (There, I said it. Hint, hint, hint…)

We ended the texting shortly after, without him giving any replies to what I last said. It’s obvious that if he’s not taking the situation about us meeting, even when I’m using nostalgia, seriously, he won’t later on.

So what to do now? Honestly, I’m not into engaging in any of those ‘I said, you said’ arguments this time around, when his texts already expressed this underlying message: I’m into you, but not enough to go the extra mile.

If he was really interested in seeing me or having something beyond (whatever it is), he would have either called me by now, or be making plans to make it happen.

The distance excuse is not going to cut it. There’s people who have ‘moved heaven and earth’ to be with the one they love, and so can he.

He may argue that we have a past together, but has certainly given a lot more of himself to other women that he ever did to me, the one he says has great memories with.

The attention is in the details, and you’ve given me enough of them to prove my point.

 

 

 

 

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I’m not sure how the sequence of events occurred after his return and I started my new job. I believe I finally paid him a quick visit about 3 months after, when I drove there on a Saturday, returning the next day.

On that occasion he wanted to go visit the elderly couple friend of him and his mom, to which I declined. I let him know softly that I wasn’t interested in making a 4-hour visit to them, especially with the limited time I had.

I could tell he wasn’t happy about it, but, honestly, they’re his friends, not mine. I know that they’re also old and living in an elderly apartment building, but I wanted to go out and have fun.

He repeated again that “I don’t know if this will be the last time I see them alive”, which I felt was a total exaggeration. They were old, but were not sick or had a condition to worry about. Their health was good and were taken care of.

Besides, I went there to be with him and his mom because, in a similar fashion, I didn’t know where life would take him or “I would see him again” after he founded a job.

Even more, I wasn’t going to fall on the trap of pleasing him or fulfilling his expectations towards me, which was another change in him that was sitting badly with me.

I spent the day instead with his best male friend, who in the past had been his colleague. He was very nice and took me to a flea market, lunch and dinner.

At the market I met a Kenyan man who was an artisan that worked on wood and stone. I ended buying a small bust of a woman that he carved by hand. His work was impressive and really spoke to me.

Before I left, the guy says to me, “if you have a chance to come back, please do so, as I want to tell you something.”

I’ve know that people from African countries had psychic abilities, so I was intrigued as to what he had to say.

When I got back to the house and told my friend about it, he wasn’t surprised or happy about my experience. He didn’t even say much about what I bought.

He had more of a sour face. Ever since he became an extreme religious fanatic, he rejects anything that doesn’t fit with his ideals.

That was another change in him I disliked. He used to respect other people’s view and beliefs. Now, if any one deviated from his mentality, even slightly, he would totally dislike them.

It was the attitude of “my way or the highway”. He was only socializing with people from church or other extremists. It was clear why he was alone or things were not happening to him (like finding a job). He is the one doing it all wrong.

Before I left the next day, my friend took me back to the flea market. I wanted to buy something else, plus speak to the Kenyan man and learn what he had to tell me.

I got to the place and my friend stood not too far away from me, but far enough not to hear the conversation.

“Something good happened to you recently,” said the man, which I knew it had to do with my new job. “And there’s someone interested in you, but…” He shook his head slightly from side to side in a ‘no’ gesture, with a facial expression of ‘I wouldn’t be with him if I were you’.

I think I quickly looked at my friend, as I knew it had to do with him, the one who was just a few steps away. I wasn’t surprised, more of another confirmation that getting involved with him would be a total mistake.

“I see you meeting a guy that will be good for you,” continued the man, this time with a very positive look on his face. “I think when you two see each other, you’re going to eat each other alive.”

Wow, that’s intense. It made me feel it was going to be like when two stars collide and create an explosion. Yeah, it sounded it would be that great.

When I was back in the car, I limited myself to what I shared with my friend. I said something to the extent of, “the man was right on point about something good happening to me recently.” I obviously refrained from the ‘other guy’ topic, and instead said that my life was headed the right way, that was overcoming my obstacles, and so forth, something more of a generic content.

As I drove home, I kept thinking about the guy, not the new one, but the one at hand. I kept wondering if there was more about my friend that the man didn’t tell me because he was close by. Did he saw something bad coming from my friend and tried to tell to me to ‘be careful’?

He may have not said much, but his face sure said it all. Maybe the underlying message was this: ‘you see that guy not far from you? Take a good look at him, ‘cause soon he’s walking away and out of your life. And it’s going to hit you as hard as these stones that I work with.’

Was the Kenyan man right? Stay tuned.



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