The New M.E. Generation











I repeated the same route as before, except that this time I used the GPS that this guy ‘lend’ me, which made my drive stress-free.

I arrived at the mom’s house a little after lunch time and about an hour before his airplane arrived. His best friend that he worked with at the airline (to which he referred to as ‘his brother, my absolute best friend’) arrived shortly after I did, as he was to pick up the other guy at the airport.

It was nice seeing him again especially after the fun times we had together before. I understood why my then friend felt the way he did about him. It was almost as if this ‘bro’ was the male version of myself. The ‘bromance’ was as strong as my friendship used to be.

The mom had food ready for everyone, so we sat down to eat. The ‘bro’ literally gulped down his food; the mom was really looking forward to seeing his son and just wanted to go pick him up.

I, on the other hand, was very hungry, and wanted to see my friend, but had no intention of eating quickly. There was something within me that told me to slow down, to enjoy that meal, to place myself first.

The mom and ‘bro’ got surprised that I didn’t go with them to the airport. I think I even put a face of ‘it’s not the end of the world if I stay’. It might have been for both of them (mostly my friend), but I didn’t care.

I finished my meal a while later, picked up my plate and washed it. And I didn’t do it because I felt pressured from anyone, it was the right thing to do.

While at that, my friend and else walked in, and he had a very upsetting face. “Why didn’t you go to the airport?” asked he. “I was expecting you there.”

I gave him a blank stare of ‘so?’ and showed no remorse.

Looking back I now realize that I didn’t go for various reasons. First, our relationship had suffered greatly by his own fault.

Second, his attitude of ‘I’m better and know more than you’ hadn’t been sitting well with me for some time. He might think he’s ‘God’s greatest creation’, but to me he wasn’t and didn’t deserve my ‘undivided attention’ that I always had towards him. To the eyes of his mom and ‘bro’ he may still be that, but to me he had become his own worst devil .

Third, I’ve lived my life for others and fulfilling their expectations, including him, and that was no longer the same. Yes, I wanted to see him, but this trip was more about me taking a road trip and possibly having some fun.

But, I just got here and this guy is already giving me an attitude. What next? More religious one-liners that will create a hell on earth during my remaining 24 hours of visiting? Lord, help me!!!

 

 

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I made the call and about 4 rings later, got his voicemail, not with his voice, but those who are automated (‘You have reached the mailbox of…).

I’ve always hated those, so impersonal and robotic. Besides, he’s a guy and the voice is that of a woman. Why aren’t there other alternatives that might ‘personalize’ it somehow?

So, in my usual manner, I left Ivan the same message I always do. “Hi, Ivan, it’s me, Emma. Just calling to say hello and know how things are going with you. Hope all is well. Call me if you can.”

He called me back about 3 days later while I was at work. That’s what usually happened; he would either never return my call, or do so at a day and time it would be difficult for me to give him my undivided attention, forcing the call to conclude quickly.

I know he’s always busy and returning my call it’s done in-between the little free time he has. But the real reason he would do it this way is because he’s not much of a talker, especially with me. He knows I will tell him the truth about his existence and, when I do, I’m not nice.

But this time around, I was the one who needed to be listened to. It was almost the end of the year and this one had been particularly difficult.

On top of that, I was still without a guy, would have been my 20-year anniversary, as well as my late father’s birthday.

At work, things were complicated as well. My boss was giving me a hard time and the other assistant couldn’t take the heat from her either.

Every day that I would walk through the door, this person would have a long face and would immediately start bitching about the boss.

Everything just piled up and I was reaching my breaking point. I didn’t know what to do. Beyond feeling that life was unfair to me, I felt time kept going by and I was stuck in the same place as always. That moment of great change hasn’t happened and was wondering if it would ever do.

“Hey, Ivan, how are you?”

“Fine, sweetie; how are you? Sorry I’m calling you at work.”

“It’s all right; I can talk for a few.” Lucky me, my boss wasn’t in the office. “Actually, no, I’m not that well.”

“What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“Question is, what has not happened to me.”

And just like that, this need to cry out all my emotions suddenly overwhelmed me.

No turning back now. Have to let it all out.



{December 30, 2013}   Looking Back 26 – Over the limit

After Thanksgiving break, I went to my usual routine. A few weeks went by and no word from that guy or myself to him either.

And, in his expected manner, he re-emerged like a bad cold that refuses to go away all together.

‘Closed on my house, yay! How are you?’ his text read.

My thought was, ‘Yay, great for you, as always’. This means there’s always going to be a situation (or better yet, excuse) for him not coming to see me.

And regarding the ‘how are you?’ part, I’m in no rush in responding. Like I’ve said before, if he cared in any way, he would have called already, and I’m tired of wasting my limited texting on him.

A couple of hours later, he wrote again. ‘Are you there?’

‘Yep’, said I. Felt more like saying, ‘Still here putting up with you’. My limit with him was already way more than that of my last messaging billing cycle.

‘I have Xmas week off. What will you be doing?’ wrote he.

‘I will be around’, replied I. Regardless if I have a plan or not doesn’t matter. I know I will not be included in his, so why say anything else?

A couple of weeks went by and, again, he was lost all together. I had stepped away from communicating to him as I have been doing (‘yay’ to that!).

Before I knew it, it was Xmas Eve and, as I always do, I call everyone I think deserves my undivided attention and wish them well. The ‘beach guy’ didn’t, but in the spirit of the holidays, I putted my emotions aside and did anyway.

I knew this would go over quickly (he wouldn’t answer my call), so I made his first. Here’s the drill: his phone rings 4 times and then voicemail activates. ‘Hello, this is…Please leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as I can’ (which you never do with me).

My response: ‘Hey, it’s me. Just wanted to wish you a Merry Xmas with your family and loved ones’ (which doesn’t include me).

All right, done. Time to call those others worth my mobile minutes.



et cetera